Please Don't Comment on my Nutrition

[NOVA Lady]

This isn't a major problem but just annoys me. I try to eat pretty health most of the time, I was an exercise science/nutrition minor in undergrad and it really opened my eyes to what I put into my body.

However, I have a fast food guilty pleasure that I let myself indulge in once a month. For whatever reason I get a huge craving for a McDonalds small (child sized basically 99 cent type) hamburger with extra pickles, and sometimes the same sized cheeseburger. So one day a month I'll get it for myself and eat it along with a bottle of water and a piece of fruit. I know its not great food, and I know its bad for me, but I think indulging in moderation is fine for me. If I eat a 6 inch subway sub under 6 grams for lunch every day for a month and one day have my little indulgence I am fine.

However, a friend I have lunch with quite often (she works in the same building but for a different company) makes a comment anytime I have this lunch. I have told her I know its bad for me, and I have shared the nutritional facts for it (its bad but not that bad) and she still insists on the fact that its horrible and eating it will make me obese.

Its to the point where I have to "hide" the fact I have this meal from her by waiting for a day when she's not going to be eating with me. But that seems pretty messed up. I want to be a little firmer with her about it end the discussion altogether. The hard thing is often discuss the nutritional content of stuff and health and fitness stuff (we encourage each other with our wellness plans and the such), so its not like this is out of line. But hearing, "You know if you eat like that you'll end up a blob in no time" is a little distrubing when I just want to have my McFatFest.

So what to say? (also is it *really* that bad to have fast food once a month?)

[Twik]

Why are you still eating with her? I'd drop her like a stale Twinkie.

[Joannie81]

Perhaps saying something like "Yes, I know that, but I only eat it once a month and the rest of the time I eat healthy.  Please don't feel you need to keep repeating it to me, because I really do understand it is unhealthy." 

[IndianInlaw]

My mom always said "Well, you have to die of SOMETHING"

It may as well be McDonald's.

[freakyfemme]

This isn't a major problem but just annoys me. I try to eat pretty health most of the time, I was an exercise science/nutrition minor in undergrad and it really opened my eyes to what I put into my body.

However, I have a fast food guilty pleasure that I let myself indulge in once a month. For whatever reason I get a huge craving for a McDonalds small (child sized basically 99 cent type) hamburger with extra pickles, and sometimes the same sized cheeseburger. So one day a month I'll get it for myself and eat it along with a bottle of water and a piece of fruit. I know its not great food, and I know its bad for me, but I think indulging in moderation is fine for me. If I eat a 6 inch subway sub under 6 grams for lunch every day for a month and one day have my little indulgence I am fine.

However, a friend I have lunch with quite often (she works in the same building but for a different company) makes a comment anytime I have this lunch. I have told her I know its bad for me, and I have shared the nutritional facts for it (its bad but not that bad) and she still insists on the fact that its horrible and eating it will make me obese.

Its to the point where I have to "hide" the fact I have this meal from her by waiting for a day when she's not going to be eating with me. But that seems pretty messed up. I want to be a little firmer with her about it end the discussion altogether. The hard thing is often discuss the nutritional content of stuff and health and fitness stuff (we encourage each other with our wellness plans and the such), so its not like this is out of line. But hearing, "You know if you eat like that you'll end up a blob in no time" is a little distrubing when I just want to have my McFatFest.

So what to say? (also is it *really* that bad to have fast food once a month?)

No, it's not.  I'd just pay your (probably well-meaning) friend no mind whatsoever, and enjoy your burger as if she wasn't even there.  Both my brother and my friend Lara have told me that drinking diet pop will give me cancer or make me blind, but I don't pay any attention to that, because I've been drinking diet pop since I was a kid, and I'm still perfectly healthy.  Likewise, my mom has been known to chastise me for eating food that she bought specifically *for* me (nuts, raisins, crackers, veggie burgers, etc.), because it's "unhealthy," and I "need to watch portion control."  I just smile and nod and continue to munch away.....if I didn't eat those things, she'd be upset with me for "wasting food" or being "ungrateful."

[Clara Bow]

I'd tell her that it was really none of her business what I was eating. And it's not. If you want to have a double quarter pounder with cheese three times a day with double fries and a nice unfiltered cigarette that is your choice and it's your body and your business.
No you are not going to sustain major health damage by eating a small portion of fast food every now and again. You know that as well as I do. It's fast food binges, or daily consumption of fast food that present a problem.

[Pixie]

I believe in moderation.  If I have a craving for a banana, I have one.  If I'm craving cauliflower, I have that.  My body tells me what I need, I've been very close to my body all my life.... its like we're joined or something      On the other hand, If I get a craving (like once every 5 years or so) for a Big Mac  I just go right ahead and have one and I do not feel guilty about it.

 Someday I shall reach the end of my days, and I do not want to look back and regret the things I didn't do.  I plan to LIVE as long as I'm alive and able to. I want to enjoy life to the fullest, and that includes junk food and silly activities! There are no do-overs or re-runs,  this one lifetime is it, no repeats.

*** stepping off soapbox now****

  Your friend is being rude.   Use the ignore button on her. 

[JoyinVirginia]

I go to Weight Watchers. the program has been very easy for me to follow, and I have lost 22 pounds over the last year. I like WW because I can eat anything I want. A small McDonald's hamburger is about 300 calories - or 6 points on WW system - including bun. I could lose quicker if I completely cut out desserts, mcdonald's, etc - but it is more realistic to eat what you like, when you want it - just in moderation. Slow and steady weight loss is more likely to be long-lasting, also. Eating a Big Mac with fries and milkshake every day will make you obese, a hamburger once in a while will not. Even eating a Big mac once in a wile will NOT make you obese.
So - tell your friend you can't eat with her on the days you plan to have your McD. fix. Enjoy your meal!

You can always tell friend if you two wanted to be really healthy, you would not eat out, but instead bring yogurt and fruit and home-baked whole wheat bread, and here, have some prunes to snack on, lots of fiber and vitamins, dontcha know!
Joy in Virginia

[Rose2Bear]

You know what I'm the exact same way you are.  I normally eat very healthy but McDonalds is my major weakness so about once a month (or sometimes once every two months) I break down, although unlike you I get the double cheeseburger and large fries!

But its really all in moderation. If you eat that every day, or even every week, then I'd say you have a problem. But once in awhile is FINE. 

It sounds to me like your friend is trying to make herself feel good by making you feel bad by telling you you're going to become obsese from eating your lunch.

Either don't eat with her any more, or just roll your eyes and enjoy your meal, as you know the truth.

[RandomAngel]

So what to say? (also is it *really* that bad to have fast food once a month?)

I work with a registered dietician who completely backs you up, if that helps (and I didn't even have to ask--she has said so many times on her own).  If the rest of your diet is healthy, then occasional fast food (especially if you order wisely and in moderation) will not make you unhealthy, nor will it make you gain weight.  

Your friend, on the other hand, does sound kind of unhealthy--maybe this is some kind of competition thing?

Some thoughts:

"I like having lunch with you, but when you say those things, it really bothers me.  I've already explained my reasoning to you, and so I feel that you don't respect my ability to think my choices through.  Can we agree to disagree, or should I stop seeing you at mealtimes?"

"You seem preoccupied with food and fat.  It must be scary to think that certain types of food might make you hugely fat all at once.  Have you considered talking to a professional about this?"  (This may sound snarky but it's not.  Her comments send up legitimate red flags.)

"Want some?" then chase her around with it until you've burned the calories she thinks you've ingested.

Okay, maybe just try the first two.

[HorseFreak]

I lived with an obese girl who ordered POUNDS of Chinese food every night, ate tons of fried food, and even managed to cook her salads. I was eating spaghetti one night and she asked me, "Isn't that a lot of carbs?" with a pointed look. I got plenty of exercise every day at work  and at the gym and weighed about 125 lbs at 5'5". I resisted the urge to say, "Isn't that a lot of FOOD you're eating?" and instead gave her an icy look. She never made another comment.

[Twik]

There's a couple of real problems here. First of all, Marina has nothing to feel guilty about! McDonald's may not be healthy for constant consumption, but it's not personally designed and prepared by Old Nick himself. They simply sell cheap hamburgers. Once a month consumption of one (1) burger there should have ABSOLUTELY no effect on anyone's overall health.

Secondly, even if it WAS that bad, or if she was eating there every day, no one should be commenting on this. There was an old rule of etiquette that has unfortunately been forgotten, but should be carved in stone - you don't make personal comments to people. It's been replaced, unfortunately, with "Stick your nose into everyone else's business - it's OK because you CAARRRE". But she really doesn't. As others have said, she's trying to show her moral superiority. That's bad enough when it's actually something of moral consequence. With regards to food, it's revolting.

[ShadesOfGrey]

Perhaps saying something like "Yes, I know that, but I only eat it once a month and the rest of the time I eat healthy.  Please don't feel you need to keep repeating it to me, because I really do understand it is unhealthy." 

Given the fact that you guys encourage each other in your wellness plans, and food comments are common for your friendship, I would say taht Joannie81's response is very appropriate for your relationship and the situation.  I also put something a little more direct below. 

"You know I only do this once per month, and it's not going to make me obese as long as I keep it in moderation. I appreciate your help with my current wellness plan, but I think you are just going to have to accept that this once-per-month treat is a part of my current plan.  Please dont comment on it in the future. Thanks. Now, have you seen XXX movie?"

[NOVA Lady]

Hi all

I really appreciate the comments I have been getting. I really like some of the suggestions of what to say to her, as in " Can't stop commenting on my McDs feast then maybe we cannot eat together".

Its just a tough line with her because we do discuss things like that all the time, I guess we just have a difference in whats OK to "splurge" on.

The thing is, and I would never ever on this earth say this to my friend, is that she is a "junk binger" in that she eats so super healthy all the time that when she decides to treat herself its like a whole bag of chips and tons and tons of junk all at one point. I think this can be stopped by just letting yourself have one cookie one or 2 days a week, or whatever else the craving is. She disagrees and I don't want to argue with her about what *she* eats.

But I think I will go ahead and let her know that I know her opinion, I disagree, and if she continues to hark on it we should make alternate plans for lunch.

She really is a good friend, but I don't want to hiding what I eat like I am ashamed, because I don't think one should be ashamed of what they eat.

Thanks!

[Irish Clovers]

If it were me, I would say "If you don't stop commenting on what I eat, I will no longer eat with you".

But, I'm pretty blunt and usually say what I feel before I can stop myself.   

My signature on my Pet Board is:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"