Please Don't Comment on my Nutrition

[ccnumber4]

I agree with rdge.  The OP and friend have a system where they check up on each others' progress and encourage each other in healthy living.  Under those circumstances, her comments are not necessarily out of line.  (they may be false, but you can see why she feels the need to bring it up.)  Why not just say, "This once-a-month splurge is a reward for my other 30 days of healthy living and is part of my plan.  Therefor, this is off-limits, I don't want you to mention it anymore."  T

hen, perhaps, you could ask her what her "pass" is.  Maybe it's the "junk binge."

[Lisbeth]

Perhaps saying something like "Yes, I know that, but I only eat it once a month and the rest of the time I eat healthy.  Please don't feel you need to keep repeating it to me, because I really do understand it is unhealthy." 

I think this reply is too defensive.  The etiquette question here is that it is rude to act like the diet or weight police when you're not someone's health care provider or trainer.

So I'd respond with an Icy Glare in my sweetest voice, "Thank you so much for your unsolicited commentary.  I'd appreciate it if, from now on, you withhold such commentary until it is solicited."

[MrsP81]

"It's a good thing you aren't the one eating it then!"

[Chocolate Cake]

Or...

"You mentioned this at least 25 times and, I have to tell you, it's really grating on my nerves.  Would you please do me a huge favor and just bite your tongue the next time you think about saying something about it?"

[Amitisoo]

It's a scientific fact that most people die of natural causes. Why would you eat natural food? It'll kill you! 

[audrey11]

On the (somewhat) flip side of this, please don't comment when I'm not eating junk food all the time.  I have been on a pretty strict diet (as in what I can and can't eat, not cutting calories to lose weight) for a variety of medical issues.   I can't have most junk food or fast food.  And, after this many years, I really don't miss not being able to eat those things.  I get a pint of Ben & Jerry's once a month, but other than that, I don't eat junk food.  I also have to eat fairly small portions of food at a time.  Please don't tell me that I need to eat more, or that I'm "wasting away".  And also, when I say, "thank you, but no" when you offer me a treat you brought from home, please don't say life is too short to miss this {cookie, cake, whatever}.  Life is also too short for me to experience the physical pain brought on by those foods.  I find this particularly annoying with some of my co-workers who are on Slim-Fast at eight and eating junk food by 10 and then whining about how overweight they are.  I don't point out their nutritional shortcomings, and I expect the same in return.

Whew.  Sorry, guess that touched a sore spot.

[Sterling]

Sounds like your friend may be obsessed with food.  My mother is like that.  Every time I talk to her she details every bite she has eaten all day and hom many carbs it had.  I tend to eat very healthy but my major weakness is chocolate.  I keep a bag of frozen dove chocolates in my freezer.  When the craving hits I suck on one.  she always comments on the sugar.

1 chocolate and it drives her crazy.  Tell your friend that its you one indulgance.  Then ask her if she never ever indulges.  If she doesn't she actually has a bigger problem than what she thinks you have.

[Sharnita]

I think at that point I'd offer to let her know the date and time of my next physical so she could take off of work and come with me since my health was such a priority. I might also start sharing, in excruciating detail, my bowel health and functions.

[Mom2PBJ]

<<<However, I have a fast food guilty pleasure that I let myself indulge in once a month. For whatever reason I get a huge craving for a McDonalds small (child sized basically 99 cent type) hamburger with extra pickles, and sometimes the same sized cheeseburger. So one day a month I'll get it for myself and eat it along with a bottle of water and a piece of fruit. I know its not great food, and I know its bad for me, but I think indulging in moderation is fine for me. If I eat a 6 inch subway sub under 6 grams for lunch every day for a month and one day have my little indulgence I am fine.>>>

I get the same way for Jack in the Box cheeseburgers.  I very rarely eat there but sometimes when I want a good cheeseburger, that's where I go.  Must be the sauce.   

[Suze]

I was taught (for good or bad, don't know) that to indulge once in awhile a craving like that keeps away the "I will eat (whatever food) till it comes out my ears.

In other words - one cookie now and then can stave off eating the whole batch in one night.  One cookie you can burn off in a day. 4 dozen you can't.

Tell the nosy little beeep to keep her nose in her own plate, not yours.

[aloe]

I'm a strict vegetarian who never eats fast food but I think it is wrong and rude for anyone to comment on the diet of others.
That is why I never tell people that they shouldn't eat meat or eat at McDonald's, etc.
The only exception is when people ask me why I eat the way I do, or if they ask related questions.

[thebadchemist]

Hey Marina! I lived with a woman who was a lot like your friend. She cooked chicken plain (no sauce, no salt, no pepper, etc.), bought bulk bags of salad, drank a ton of smoothies, and even used applesauce in lieu of butter when she baked cookies. There were some serious body and food issues with this person, even though she was a stunningly lovely young woman.

One day, I made some cookies (this was my trademark recipe) and since I was running short on time, I put the batch on a plate, took a cookie, and went to class. Upon my return, our other roommate corners me and snaps, "I can't believe you didn't leave me any cookies! I've been DYING for one!"

"But... I knew you'd been waiting for them. I left the plate on the table."

We never knew for sure, but by process of elimination and past behaviors, we figured out that our super-healthy roomie must have inhaled the entire batch (we knew she didn't throw them away) when no one was around. We're talking over 30 cookies in 2 hours.

Unlike your friend, she didn't hound others about their habits, but she'd be the one constantly criticizing herself about what she's eating and the contents of EVERYTHING. So, I suspect that your friend probably has some similar issues and they're pretty deeply rooted.

With that said, my general tactic if anyone bugs me about my nutrition is to reply, "Better happy and fat than miserable and skinny. Back off." If that doesn't make them shut up, I sit there and really, really enjoy my meal. I tune them out and eat with lots of mmmm's. My indulgence is a cheeseburger with grilled onions, fries, and a neopolitan milkshake from In-N-Out. When I restrain, I have a diet coke instead of the shake. So, I think you're doing pretty well by eating your burgers with fruit! It's not the etiquette that would have me dropping your co-worker like a bad habit, it's the fact that I love to savor my meals and that's best done in peace.

[dawbs]

I think this can be stopped by just letting yourself have one cookie one or 2 days a week, or whatever else the craving is. She disagrees...

As it happens, most 'experts' agree with you...
not that it happens to be especially helpful in the situation.

[Clara Bow]

Hey Marina! I lived with a woman who was a lot like your friend. She cooked chicken plain (no sauce, no salt, no pepper, etc.), bought bulk bags of salad, drank a ton of smoothies, and even used applesauce in lieu of butter when she baked cookies. There were some serious body and food issues with this person, even though she was a stunningly lovely young woman.

One day, I made some cookies (this was my trademark recipe) and since I was running short on time, I put the batch on a plate, took a cookie, and went to class. Upon my return, our other roommate corners me and snaps, "I can't believe you didn't leave me any cookies! I've been DYING for one!"

"But... I knew you'd been waiting for them. I left the plate on the table."

We never knew for sure, but by process of elimination and past behaviors, we figured out that our super-healthy roomie must have inhaled the entire batch (we knew she didn't throw them away) when no one was around. We're talking over 30 cookies in 2 hours.

Unlike your friend, she didn't hound others about their habits, but she'd be the one constantly criticizing herself about what she's eating and the contents of EVERYTHING. So, I suspect that your friend probably has some similar issues and they're pretty deeply rooted.

With that said, my general tactic if anyone bugs me about my nutrition is to reply, "Better happy and fat than miserable and skinny. Back off." If that doesn't make them shut up, I sit there and really, really enjoy my meal. I tune them out and eat with lots of mmmm's. My indulgence is a cheeseburger with grilled onions, fries, and a neopolitan milkshake from In-N-Out. When I restrain, I have a diet coke instead of the shake. So, I think you're doing pretty well by eating your burgers with fruit! It's not the etiquette that would have me dropping your co-worker like a bad habit, it's the fact that I love to savor my meals and that's best done in peace.

It sounds to me as if your roommate was suffering form bulimia...my mother in law had issues with anorexia years ago.

[freakyfemme]

I'm a strict vegetarian who never eats fast food but I think it is wrong and rude for anyone to comment on the diet of others.
That is why I never tell people that they shouldn't eat meat or eat at McDonald's, etc.
The only exception is when people ask me why I eat the way I do, or if they ask related questions.

Are you my long-lost sister?  Lol.  I'm also a strict vegetarian, and the only fast food I'll even consider toucing is subs, pitas, and veggie pizza.....but I don't try to force people to share my views.