I've helped out... so here's my bill!

[blue_bunny_paz]

A family from my church, a young couple and their 6 month old baby, were moving. Since they were just moving from one part of town to another various people offered to help pack / unpack or both, depending on where they lived and the amount of spare time.

People who weren't able to lift heavy things helped to pack glasses or to tidy up. Some people made food so the family moving didn't have to worry about cooking. Basically, people did what they could to help.

The unpacking side was pretty quick, since there was a lot of us helping and everything had been packed based on where it would go in the new house. We were probably done within an hour. Some people stayed behind to out furniture together and so on, then we left the couple to settle in.

It's now about a week later and the mother of the family has just received a bill from one of the people who helped. She has been charged for a day's lost earnings as the person in question took a day off work. Obviously, this is unreasonable as no one asked him to take the day off, we were all volunteering and he was only there for an hour. I'm sure there's no way that he could enforce this bill, but what is the best thing for the family to do in response?

[ZipTheWonder]

Personally, I would pay it...and I would do it with the spirit that was presumably not present when the service was rendered. 

I think the rewards of human kindness cannot be calculated in dollars, but apparently this individual does not want those rewards, and prefers cash.  I would give it to him.

[Bob Ducca]

Is he billing her for the one hour he was present, or for the entire day he took off?  Either is rude, but the second would be really outrageous.  I just re-read the original post and see it is the latter.  Does the rest of the church know this person is doing this?  I have to say that, in my church, something like this would be taken very seriously.  If it happened to me in my church, I would take it to my pastor and see what he said.

Although I usually agree with Zip  , this time I would have to disagree.  I would probably ignore the bill, and if the person had the gall to bring it up in person, I might possibly pay for the one hour he was actually there, making it clear from my exquisitely polite incredulity that no one else asked to be paid for their kindness.  Of course, sending out thank-you notes to everyone who helped should be done as soon as possible.

I'm assuming that this family, being young and with a new baby, needed the help moving because it would have been difficult financially for them to pay movers, and a cross-town move isn't too hard for friends to help out.  The idea that someone would charge for this service is simply outrageous.

edited because I didn't read thoroughly...sorry...

[veryfluffy]

I don't think a day's lost wages is a reasonable demand from anyone who had volunteered to help out. What if this person was a lawyer or plastic surgeon? You're supposed to pay them how many hundreds or thousands they normally get paid?

If this person thought they were "working" to help with the move, then they should have provided a quote and agreed terms beforehand. That's what a moving company would have done.

I'd treat the demand as a joke.

[ZipTheWonder]

I really do not mean to imply that the OP's friend should pay the man.  Only that *I* would do it, since he seems more interested in the financial rewards of service than in the other rewards.  I would be pressed to handle this charitably, quite frankly, and I would probably be hurt if I were the OP's friend...but I would force myself not to rise to the bait.  So, I would quietly pay it.

But, I think there are many other ways to handle what I think is some pretty outrageous behavior.

[Chocolate Cake]

If the person couldn't afford to lose the day's wages when he/she chose to help out, he/she shouldn't have volunteered.

The family should absolutely NOT pay that bill as it would just reinforce that person's bad behavior.  Instead, others in the volunteer group need to pounce on the rude person and let him/her know that his/her behavior is completely unacceptable.

[Bob Ducca]

I really do not mean to imply that the OP's friend should pay the man.  Only that *I* would do it, since he seems more interested in the financial rewards of service than in the other rewards.  I would be pressed to handle this charitably, quite frankly, and I would probably be hurt if I were the OP's friend...but I would force myself not to rise to the bait.  So, I would quietly pay it.

But, I think there are many other ways to handle what I think is some pretty outrageous behavior.

Whew!  I'm back to completely agreeing with you...life makes sense again...   

[smarterthanu213]

Wow, that's really outrageous. I would have the family take it to their pastor--that's kind of serious within a church whose members always help each other out, which I'm assuming is the case in this church. Other than that, I would let it go and decline that person's offers of help in the future.

[CreteGirl]

Wow, that one's a jaw dropper!  I would ignore the bill. 

Some people's kids...

[weber06]

My jaw hit my desk!  Your church sounds like an amazing group of big-hearted people.  It's a shame they have an imposter in their midsts.  Who takes a day off to volunteer for a move?  And other than food at mealtime or thanks who expects payment.  I've helped a lot of people move.  Got me out of the gym that day. 

I would take it to the pastor.  And no one should invite this man to "volunteer" for anything again.

[ShadesOfGrey]

I don't think a day's lost wages is a reasonable demand from anyone who had volunteered to help out. What if this person was a lawyer or plastic surgeon? You're supposed to pay them how many hundreds or thousands they normally get paid?

If this person thought they were "working" to help with the move, then they should have provided a quote and agreed terms beforehand. That's what a moving company would have done.

I'd treat the demand as a joke.

ITA, and I'd send along some monopoly $$ in response (not in a snarky way, but in a playful way as in "That joke invoice you sent me was so funny, and I am going to be a good sport about it."

 I think Zip has a great idea about responding in this way (for the 1 hour, not the full day), but I do wonder what would happen if the OP just paid them, if for no other reason than to make the person feel very very small (they cant actually expect a person to pay them, can they???).  But I also wonder what sort of trouble that would bring up the next time that person tries to help someone.  If the OP pays it once, it's not unreasonable to assume that they would pay it again, and it sorta forms some sort of contract or something, I think...

Other than that I would ignore it, as it is such a ridiculous notion it cant be serious.  

[crazyone]

Wow!  To 'charge' for a whole day when you only spent an hour, and 'volunteered' at that is over the top.  Another thought though, if this person took a vacation day from work, his employer may have paid for this day off.  What he chose to do with it is his business but, for example, does a working parent charge their kid for taking the day off work when the child is sick?  This individual just might. As the couple knows this person from church, well that just leads to many speculations as to how much attention that person is paying in church.

[crazyone]

To rdge, I don't know, this person just MIGHT expect them to pay.  After reading some of the stories on the Etiquette Hell website, I would not be surprised. 

[ShadesOfGrey]

Wow!  To 'charge' for a whole day when you only spent an hour, and 'volunteered' at that is over the top.  Another thought though, if this person took a vacation day from work, his employer may have paid for this day off.  What he chose to do with it is his business...

ooh, this is a really good point.  The person probably was getting paid for their time off!

[MsEva]

I have to agree with the posters that have said the pastor should be notified. Normally I would just recommend ignoring it, but since it's connected to a larger group the leader of the group should be made aware of this person's actions. What would happen if people were volunteering time to help out a family with an illness and the sick person died? I can't even imagine the horror that the surviving family would feel by getting an invoice like that.