People that WILL NOT share recipes

[JoyinVirginia]

I would think it unusual that someone would not want to share a recipe, but can understand reasons they might not share. I do not think anyone is under a particular obligation to share recipes if they do not want to. Most mothers WANT to share recipes and cooking wisdom with their younger relatives, but that doesn't mean ALL mothers feel the same.   You can look online at recipe sites like recipezaar, or websites by certain food producers or companies will have recipe sections, or get recipe books from the library to find similar recipes perhaps. Also community groups and churches will often sell a recipe book made up from recipes donated by members, and those are great for finding unique home-cooking recipes.
Joy in Virginia

[Elle]

I share very few of my recipes. The last time I made an exception to my guideline I gave my aunt a recipe for quiche
She substituted bacon bits for bacon
Onion powder for onions
Kraft slices for swiss
Egg whites for eggs
and *I* caught endless grief for giving her the *wrong recipe* 

[cicero]

i laugh because my friend and i always laugh about this issue.

I share recipes ---- whether they are my own invention, or from the 'net, or whatever. I always credit the source. the thing with my style of cooking is that i always change recipes. so it's sometimes a bit difficult for me to actually pin down how i make something. but i don't mind sharing. If i eat something that i really like - 99% of the time I can figure out the recipe anyway. anyway, once my friend made a really good vegetable loaf. I asked her for the recipe, she said she couldn't give it to me because she promised the person who gave  it to her (G) that she wouldn't. now i respected that - because G is a caterer. However, I pretty much figured out the recipe, googled it, and found it on the internet.

no matter what *I* do, I do respect another person's desire to NOT share THEIR recipes.

[StarFaerie]

My Mother has family recipes handed down to her from her mother. She will tell me the recipes but NO-ONE ELSE, no matter how much they beg. These recipes are an important part of our family heritage and remain so. She certainly isn't rude for refusing to share them, any more than she would be for not allowing others to wear family heirloom jewellery.

This may also be why your sister's MIL refuses to give you the recipes.

[G'sMom]

Ok, I used to think it was controlling too.  Once I came into my own as a good cook and baker, in my mid twenties, people would usually ask for recipes I have used for their dinner, etc.  I had no problem giving them out.  UNTIL... I got married and one of my SILs started asking.  Now let me preface this by saying, that  I am of the school that anything worth doing is worth doing right, whether the task be big or small do it right or not at all, etc.  I do not half a** things.  SHe is notorious for doing exactly that.  Everything is always "to be done with it", etc. Now, many of my recipes that have gotten raves are time consuming.  I have no problem with this, but I know that if I give it to her when she asks, she WILL half a** it. THen I find out when she serves the recipe to someone (and I have had some of my own recipes prepared by her, and I'm sorry, they stink) she always prefaces it with "This is Grasshopper's recipe!" and I am mortified. Because not everyone she serves it to has had it prepared by ME -- CORRECTLY.  After she butchered 5 of my most valued recipes I now refuse to give them out to her.  If she asks why I just say I'm becoming eccentric. 

Edited for spelling

[G'sMom]

Just noticed LauraF said it for me in way less words.  Thanks LauraF! 

[G'sMom]

Slight sidebar here but in the same vein, my MIL, after much ado and making quite a show of it, "gave" me her recipe for pot roast that she proclaimed how much her sons loved it, both sons (my DH and brother) went on and on about how it was the best EVER.  So I made it.  Hmm..I mean, it was ok, something was missing.  Now, this is before I really began to flourish in the kitchen, so I couldn't put my finger on it.  DH would say it was good but "not like mom's"  grrrrr 

So I kept trying.  Another time she came for dinner and purposely kept me distracted until I burned a new chicken recipe (plus I had an electric oven, something new for me at the time).  She crowed to everyone how I burned it and "oh isn't it cute, grasshopper trying to be all domestic".  Well, fast forward a couple years and now Grasshopper is known for her dinner parties and out of this world recipes.  I have also secretly been cultivating the pot roast recipe on my own.  I serve it to her and her brother when they come for dinner.  The brother, DH's brother (her other son)  and DH exclaim "WOW!  This is BETTER than yours MIL!!! " (at last DH foot in mouth is turned on someone other than me)  apparently the brother went on and on about it the entire drive back home with her. It blew hers out of the water.  She confessed to DH at one point later "I might have left out one or two things from the recipe I gave her out of forgetfulness". ha, my foot. She used to sit in glee when everyone would tell me "it's still not like Mom's" secretly knowing she didn't give me the whole recipe. So now she listens to everyone crow about my wonderful cooking and ESPECIALLY my pot roast.  She at last confessed to me that "it IS better than mine, good job Grasshopper"    Score for the DIL! 

[Lisbeth]

Well, I think it's not rude to not be willing to share recipes, and it's a bit entitled to think one is entitled to someone else's recipe.

That said, I do like to share recipes.  I don't have many of my own-I don't have the space in my apartment to really experiment with cooking.

[Evil Duckie]

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[reddevil]

I second (third) all the PPs who mentioned people butchering their recipes.  I don't share for lots of reasons, mostly because of that combined with the fact that I don't have recipes.  I just make stuff up and add to an established good base.  Sometimes it comes out.

 Last night, I ground up some Gardetto's snack mix to add to my breadcrumbs for faux fried chicken.  It was awesome.  The oyster crackers I used last month were gluey.  I'm from a make do with what you have family so I substitute things a great deal.  Never things that really matter...like Kraft slices for swiss cheese, but I do like to experiment. 

I share some, though, like Company French Toast and my too easy quiche.  Not the burritos, though.  Never those. 

This is an interesting thread, too...made me think about my gram's cherry pie (no sharing) mom's potato salad (no sharing) and my little bro's stuffed chix breasts (he's only 21, and I'm so proud!). 

So now I'm hungry, which often happens on this board. 

[MDefarge]

 

I share some, though, like Company French Toast and my too easy quiche.  Not the burritos, though.  Never those. 


So now I'm hungry, which often happens on this board. 

Um those of you who DO share recipes, would you mind putting some of them up here? Because they sound delicious (I'm especially intrigued by that Company French Toast) and now *I'm* hungry too!

[LissaR1]

I'm always willing to share my recipes, but I also never invent them.  They're from cookbooks or magazines.  And even our family recipes are from cookbooks and magazines.  (More of my family specializes in microwave cookery than anything else )  I'm not offended if someone won't share their recipe, but I do prefer they give me a reason, like, "sorry- it's a family recipe."  They don't have to give a reason, mind you, I just think it softens the rejection.

On the flip side, I made my mom and stepdad a WW version of veal pizziola.  It was an extremely simple recipe, and calls for maybe five ingredients.  My stepfather adored it, and asked me to give my mom the recipe.  I know my mom doesn't cook in the same way I do, so I wrote down brands and everything, and emphasized the oregano had to be fresh, not dried.  She said that she followed my directions to the letter (and I believe her- this is not a hard dish!) and my stepfather said, "Oh, it's not as good as Lissa's."  Pfft.  (My guess is he'd built it up pretty high in his mind, and even I couldn't duplicate it, I'm sure.)

[Summrs]

Anyone remember the Everybody Loves Raymond episode where Marie gave her family recipe to Deborah, but replaced a label on a jar of Tarragon with Basil?  Deborah's attempt came out awful.  If you're going to share a recipe, share THE recipe, don't leave something out or replace it with something that will make it taste funky.  That's just being a jerk.

[camlan]

A woman I know gets great recipes from her mother. The mother sometimes will give the recipes to people outside the family, but will change an ingredient or two or change the amount of an ingredient. Then she'll turn to her daughter and whisper, "Don't you use that recipe. I'll give you the right one when we get home."

My own recipe-sharing story is this. Many, many years ago, when I was in college, someone made these really fantastic cookies. Really, really good cookies with a chocolate kiss inside. She would not share the recipe. So, because these cookies were so good and I'm a pretty good baker, I started out to duplicate the recipe. Finally, after a few trials, some errors and at least two cookie batches that went straight to the trashcan, I had at least a reasonable facsimile of the original cookie. I liked them, my friends liked them, my family liked them.

For a Christmas party at my dad's house, I made a batch. Someone asked me for the recipe. I'm always incredibly flattered that someone would want one of my recipes that I am more than willing to share. I started to give it to him and my brother interrupted. "You can't give him that! It's a secret family recipe!" No, it was MY recipe. But the family decided that I couldn't give it out to anyone outside the family.

That lasted at least 15 years, until I found out that the same brother who wouldn't let me give anyone the recipe had given it to his girlfriend. But that was different, you see.

[G'sMom]

I second (third) all the PPs who mentioned people butchering their recipes.  I don't share for lots of reasons, mostly because of that combined with the fact that I don't have recipes.  I just make stuff up and add to an established good base.  Sometimes it comes out.

 Last night, I ground up some Gardetto's snack mix to add to my breadcrumbs for faux fried chicken.  It was awesome.  The oyster crackers I used last month were gluey.  I'm from a make do with what you have family so I substitute things a great deal.  Never things that really matter...like Kraft slices for swiss cheese, but I do like to experiment. 

I share some, though, like Company French Toast and my too easy quiche.  Not the burritos, though.  Never those. 

This is an interesting thread, too...made me think about my gram's cherry pie (no sharing) mom's potato salad (no sharing) and my little bro's stuffed chix breasts (he's only 21, and I'm so proud!). 

So now I'm hungry, which often happens on this board. 

Try crushing some garlic and onion or Italian seasoned croutons.  THe super crunchy kind that I find near the oils and vinegars.  I use them for my crunchy "fried" (really either baked or done in the skillet on stovetop) chicken.