People that WILL NOT share recipes

[skbenny]

I wouldn't expect cookbook authors or restaurant owners to give away their recipes -- those are situations where "intellectual property" is more than just a big-sounding word.  Intellectual property is a serious legal term used to protect people who have a financial or business interest in a particular "product of the mind".  I also wouldn't expect someone to violate copyright laws and hand out a bunch of photocopied recipes out of a cookbook.

Unless you plan on selling your recipes, giving them away is not going to hurt you.  And if you're worried someone else will botch your recipe, I seriously doubt your reputation will be permanently ruined as a a result.  People who know you will hopefully know that you make it better than that.

I still think that recipe hoarding is a typically a personal power play.  I'd bet some folks even get a little charge everytime they get to say "no" to someone.  Ooooh, the power....  I just can't imagine looking a friend dead in the face and saying "I will not share this with you."

I don't even view this as an etiquette issue, or one of people being "entitled" to my recipes or anything else.  I just can't see any legitimate reason (other than being sworn by the person who gave it to you, or avoiding copyright infringement) not to share a recipe with someone who is genuinely interested in it.

Again, so much of this seems to come down to *pride*, and I don't mean the wholesome feeling we get when we see our daughter on stage at her ballet recital.

I'd really be interested in knowing not so much the "theories" behind those of you who don't share recipes, but what actually goes through your head when you are face to face with a friend or neighbor and tell them "NO".  Do you feel a little bad?  Do you feel a rush of superiority?  A sense of victory?  A small feeling of power and control in a world gone mad?

I very seldom take offense at posts.  But this particular has a lot of assumptions about a lot of people.

Why in the world would saying no be a power trip?

If someone asks me to watch their children, and I say no, am I on a power trip?
If someone tells me to make them a quilt, and I say that won't be possible, am I on a power trip?
If someone asks me to take care of their pet while they are gone for two weeks, and I say no, am I on a power trip?
If someone wants to borrow one of my DVDs, and I say no, am I on a power trip?

No does not equal power trip, in fact, we often tell people no is a complete sentence.  It is a polite thing to say and often when not said, many ill feelings result.

You are so way off base here.  Anything else I say could end up putting me in ehell.

[demetra]

Those of you who say no, how do people take it when you refuse to give them a recipe?

Depends on the recipe.  Most of the recipes I refuse to give out are my 'kitchen witchery' recipes, which include recipes for bath products, cold medicine, etc...  I don't give them out because, well, I've unfortunately seen what happens when someone with a lack of herbal knowledge uses stuff incorrectly, and I NEVER want to feel responsible for something like that ever again.  I'll share the harmless stuff (like the face masks), but my hyssop cough suppressant or sage incense?  No.  I've even reached the point with some of my recipes that you have to okay it with your doctor before I will make it for you.

And some of those I do sell the results, so I'm absolutely not going to hand over the recipe to anyone who wants it.

Others, I respond, 'I got it from this cookbook, you can purchase it here'.  And others are very personal to me, and if you aren't someone I'm willing to give a handmade quilt to, you probably aren't someone I'm willing to hand one of those recipes over to.

I'd really be interested in knowing not so much the "theories" behind those of you who don't share recipes, but what actually goes through your head when you are face to face with a friend or neighbor and tell them "NO".  Do you feel a little bad?  Do you feel a rush of superiority?  A sense of victory?  A small feeling of power and control in a world gone mad?

To be absolutely blunt - Because I don't like giving into people like you.

I just can't see any legitimate reason (other than being sworn by the person who gave it to you, or avoiding copyright infringement) not to share a recipe with someone who is genuinely interested in it.

You've been given many legitimate reasons.  Your desire to have your own way is not our problem.  Frankly, if you expressed this attitude after I told you 'I prefer not to give that recipe out', you'd be told to leave my home and never return again.

[Visiting Crazy Town]

I'd really be interested in knowing not so much the "theories" behind those of you who don't share recipes, but what actually goes through your head when you are face to face with a friend or neighbor and tell them "NO".  Do you feel a little bad?  Do you feel a rush of superiority?  A sense of victory?  A small feeling of power and control in a world gone mad?

I agree with a lot of other posters a lot of your post are coming off harsh and rude to people who do not share  their recipes all i will say is that it is each persons decision whether or not to share a recipe and if you choose not to you should be judge harshly  you should be respected because that is your choice it has nothing to do with superiority, victory, or power and control .
Shay

[willow08]

Anybody know a good recipe for bean dip?

[RainhaDoTexugo]

Anybody know a good recipe for bean dip?

Not that I'm willing to share

[Shores]

Anybody know a good recipe for bean dip?

Not that I'm willing to share

now THAT was a good segue into "bean dip"

[demetra]

Among things learned the hard way, contrary to what my friend Liz says, mashed pinto beans do not make a good face mask.

[rashea]

Those of you who say no, how do people take it when you refuse to give them a recipe?

Depends on the recipe.  Most of the recipes I refuse to give out are my 'kitchen witchery' recipes, which include recipes for bath products, cold medicine, etc...  I don't give them out because, well, I've unfortunately seen what happens when someone with a lack of herbal knowledge uses stuff incorrectly, and I NEVER want to feel responsible for something like that ever again.  I'll share the harmless stuff (like the face masks), but my hyssop cough suppressant or sage incense?  No.  I've even reached the point with some of my recipes that you have to okay it with your doctor before I will make it for you.

And some of those I do sell the results, so I'm absolutely not going to hand over the recipe to anyone who wants it.

I put my kitchen witchery recipes in a whole other category. These do not get shared. I too make some that are very powerful. While they work, they can be dangerous if you do not know what you are doing. I worked very hard to gain the knowledge necessary to make those recipes, I would actually be irresponsible if I shared them without a knowledge of the persons medical history.

[jimithing]

I wouldn't expect cookbook authors or restaurant owners to give away their recipes -- those are situations where "intellectual property" is more than just a big-sounding word.  Intellectual property is a serious legal term used to protect people who have a financial or business interest in a particular "product of the mind".  I also wouldn't expect someone to violate copyright laws and hand out a bunch of photocopied recipes out of a cookbook.

Unless you plan on selling your recipes, giving them away is not going to hurt you.  And if you're worried someone else will botch your recipe, I seriously doubt your reputation will be permanently ruined as a a result.  People who know you will hopefully know that you make it better than that.

I still think that recipe hoarding is a typically a personal power play.  I'd bet some folks even get a little charge everytime they get to say "no" to someone.  Ooooh, the power....  I just can't imagine looking a friend dead in the face and saying "I will not share this with you."

I don't even view this as an etiquette issue, or one of people being "entitled" to my recipes or anything else.  I just can't see any legitimate reason (other than being sworn by the person who gave it to you, or avoiding copyright infringement) not to share a recipe with someone who is genuinely interested in it.

Again, so much of this seems to come down to *pride*, and I don't mean the wholesome feeling we get when we see our daughter on stage at her ballet recital.

I'd really be interested in knowing not so much the "theories" behind those of you who don't share recipes, but what actually goes through your head when you are face to face with a friend or neighbor and tell them "NO".  Do you feel a little bad?  Do you feel a rush of superiority?  A sense of victory?  A small feeling of power and control in a world gone mad?

I very seldom take offense at posts.  But this particular has a lot of assumptions about a lot of people.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt this way.  I rarely post the "Interesting Assumption" line on this board, but I felt that the tone and comments in these posts warrant it. 

Tabbage, I agree that your posts are insulting and condescending.  You would probably get much more honest responses by asking a simple question about why people don't want to share, which has been explained more than once by many posters.  But by assuming that posters who don't share are on a power trip and like to look down on others is extremely judgemental and patronizing.

[Flora Louise]

Those of you who say no, how do people take it when you refuse to give them a recipe?

Depends on the recipe.  Most of the recipes I refuse to give out are my 'kitchen witchery' recipes, which include recipes for bath products, cold medicine, etc...  I don't give them out because, well, I've unfortunately seen what happens when someone with a lack of herbal knowledge uses stuff incorrectly, and I NEVER want to feel responsible for something like that ever again.  I'll share the harmless stuff (like the face masks), but my hyssop cough suppressant or sage incense?  No.  I've even reached the point with some of my recipes that you have to okay it with your doctor before I will make it for you.

And some of those I do sell the results, so I'm absolutely not going to hand over the recipe to anyone who wants it.

Others, I respond, 'I got it from this cookbook, you can purchase it here'.  And others are very personal to me, and if you aren't someone I'm willing to give a handmade quilt to, you probably aren't someone I'm willing to hand one of those recipes over to.

OK, but how do others respond?

[LissaR1]

I've asked for recipes before and been told no.  I shrug, smile, change the subject, and don't think any less of the person who refused.  Personally, I really don't think it's a big deal.

Hehehe.  Once, someone asked my grandmother for her recipe for coleslaw.  She had to refuse, because she'd picked it up from KFC and put it in one of her own bowls!  My grandmother was a wonderful woman who could do a whole host of things amazingly well, but cooking was NOT one of them!

[Bibliophile]

Hehehe.  Once, someone asked my grandmother for her recipe for coleslaw.  She had to refuse, because she'd picked it up from KFC and put it in one of her own bowls!  My grandmother was a wonderful woman who could do a whole host of things amazingly well, but cooking was NOT one of them!

ROFL!  That is so funny!  Next time I hear someone refusing to give a recipe, that'll probably be my first thought now!   

[willow08]

Anybody know a good recipe for bean dip?

Not that I'm willing to share

now THAT was a good segue into "bean dip"

Thank you!

[skbenny]

Mash kidney beans and garbanzo beans (50/50) and add the juice from three-bean salad until you reach your desired consistency and taste.  Season, if desired, with some pickled garlic and sundried tomatoes.  

Tastes wonderful on tortilla chips and most plain crackers.

[willow08]

Among things learned the hard way, contrary to what my friend Liz says, mashed pinto beans do not make a good face mask.

But I'll bet they make excellent grout sealer!