People that WILL NOT share recipes

[lastonetoknow]

My sister has a MIL that WILL NOT share recipes.

She's a good cook, but under no circumstances will share recpies with anybody who asks for them, no matter how much they compliment her food and then ask for the recipe. 

I think it's weird, as it would be a compliment for me to share a recipe I thought others had enjoyed.

Thoughts?  She's a bit of a control freak so I can kind of understand her weirdness of not wanting to be shown up, etc. 

But I want to know how to cook lamb and make Greek Chicken so that I can make it for my own family since we enjoyed it so much.

It's annoying.

[MadMadge43]

Very annoying. It's how MIL makes sure her children keep coming home.

I mean even Neiman Marcus shares it's cookie recipes   

[edenparadox]

Sorry but that's not weird or controlling. I have recipes I wouldn't share. They're my intellectual property and I am not obligated to share that with anyone. Especially if it's something like a signature dish, I can't even imagine wanting to share that. And family recipes? Forget it. Not only would a person have to be related to me but we'd have to share a very strong bond for me to share those.

[Trisha]

I would find it insulting unless there is some reason for it, IE its a secret family recipe or something.

I would wonder if there is some "embarrassing" reason she won't give it up, maybe they're clipped from a magazine, and thinks that everyone will look down on her when they find out, or maybe she's secretly replacing it with takeout

Is it also possible she doesn't have a recipe? I cook all kinds of stuff and most the time I don't think about "recipe" I think about what tastes good.

[jimithing]

I agree with eden that if it's my own recipe that I invented or it was a family recipe that was only passed down to family, I wouldn't share it very easily.

If it was something that I looked up on Allrecipes, I have no problem with it.  I actually like giving recipes and spreading the goodness around.  I do sort have a little pride surrounding being a good cook, so it makes me happy when people want my recipes.

[MDefarge]

I personally have no problem sharing recipes, like Jimithing I get many of them from allrecipes.com - however I see nothing wrong with someone NOT wanting to share - that's their right even if I don't do the same.

OP- seriously go check out allrecipes.com they have a bunch of variations on each of their recipes.

[Chocolate Cake]

I've stopped sharing certain recipes because I don't want to to see my favorite recipes eliminated because of over-use in my social circle.  In other words, serving my guests my "Chicken Adoration" dish after they've had it four other times at four other host's homes doesn't make much sense.   I want my special recipes to remain special and only available when dining in my home -- not in half the homes in my neighborhood.

[KenveeB]

She might be one of those "a bit of this, a bit of that" cooks and is embarrassed that she can't give a recipe but doesn't want to admit it.  My grandmother won't share any of hers, but it's because she really doesn't have a "recipe" to anything she makes.  If it's something she has a recipe for, she clipped it out of a magazine and will happily show it to you.

I don't think it's necessarily rude to refuse to share a recipe.  I get lots of requests for my Christmas candy recipe, but I never give it out.  It's not like it's really a secret, but that's just my special thing and I don't want to give it out.

[skbenny]

One of my hobbies is creating recipes.  I may start with a recipe or just an idea - and then work, and work, experiment, have failures and successes, until I come up with a perfect (for me) recipe.

If someone asks me for one of those, I won't share.  I will share any recipe that I have used from a magazine, internet or cookbook.  My own creations are only shared with my DDs.  

Why should it be expected to share?  Should a designer share their patterns?  An author his writings?  An artist their artwork?  Cooking is an art, developing recipes is not easy, time consuming and expensive.

Heck no I'm not sharing unless "I" want to share.

[MadMadge43]

I've stopped sharing certain recipes because I don't want to to see my favorite recipes eliminated because of over-use in my social circle.  In other words, serving my guests my "Chicken Adoration" dish after they've had it four other times at four other host's homes doesn't make much sense.   I want my special recipes to remain special and only available when dining in my home -- not in half the homes in my neighborhood.

People who would use your best recipes in the same social crowd as you are RUDE. I would never think of using my friend's recipes with people that we mutually entertain.

My friend Sarah and I always share recipes, but I know her cheese and artichoke dip is hers and my stuffed mushrooms are mine. We would never think of using those recipes in our own crowd. But I have made her dip to feed relatives and people who do not know her, and she's used mine in the same situations.

[jimithing]

I've stopped sharing certain recipes because I don't want to to see my favorite recipes eliminated because of over-use in my social circle.  In other words, serving my guests my "Chicken Adoration" dish after they've had it four other times at four other host's homes doesn't make much sense.   I want my special recipes to remain special and only available when dining in my home -- not in half the homes in my neighborhood.

People who would use your best recipes in the same social crowd as you are RUDE. I would never think of using my friend's recipes with people that we mutually entertain.

My friends and I will do this, with each other's permission.  My grandmother has an awesome spinach-strawberry salad, that I believe I have posted here.  Everyone loves it and always requests the recipe.  I have only shared it with my best friend, and when we have potlucks and she is assigned the salad, she will bring this one.  I have no problem with it, as I love it too!

[Clara Bow]

I'm picky about sharing recipes as well. If I got the recipe from someone else I always ask their permission before I share.
And I can't give any that I made up...I'm not a measurer. You have to let me show you how to do it.

[ladiedeathe]

I'm pretty much with skbenny here- I'll happily share any recipe I got from a common source (a net site, a cookbook) but I won't share most of the ones I have worked over for years to perfect. THey are written down, with notes, for my son and my nieces, to be given at some point yet to be decided.

[Harriet Jones]

Another aspect of this may be that she doesn't want someone to "ruin" her recipe ... if you say "Oh, this is X's Lamb Mintastic" and it's not up to her standards, she might feel like this makes her look bad.

[skbenny]

I'm pretty much with skbenny here- I'll happily share any recipe I got from a common source (a net site, a cookbook) but I won't share most of the ones I have worked over for years to perfect. THey are written down, with notes, for my son and my nieces, to be given at some point yet to be decided.

Thank you,

It isn't about being selfish, it's about giving part of you away that you worked hard to develop.