Author Topic: Life is not Junior High  (Read 6242 times)

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ginlyn32

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2007, 11:16:30 PM »
Well...I have to laugh because this is not about a co-worker, it's about my DH!

Everytime they have a project manager's meeting/dinner here in Atlanta, he calls at least two or three of the guys to find out what they are going to wear.  :o ::) :D

I. Swear. To. God.

THEN he will agonize and worry about what he has on. I'm like, why do you care? His answer: I don't want to be the only one dressed up or not.

Heck, it's just dinner for crying out loud!! Get a mind of your OWN!!!!

GInger
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Yarnspinner

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #16 on: January 19, 2007, 12:15:57 AM »
Well...I have to laugh because this is not about a co-worker, it's about my DH!

Everytime they have a project manager's meeting/dinner here in Atlanta, he calls at least two or three of the guys to find out what they are going to wear.  :o ::) :D

I. Swear. To. God.

THEN he will agonize and worry about what he has on. I'm like, why do you care? His answer: I don't want to be the only one dressed up or not.

Heck, it's just dinner for crying out loud!! Get a mind of your OWN!!!!

GInger

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Ginlyn, I hope it's okay that I burst out laughing when I saw your post.  This happens all the time at our place.  Grown women, calling each other to see what we should wear to the library christmas party, the union free for all er, the union luncheon where they explain why we aren't getting raises this year, the mayoral holiday lunch...you name it and it's "What are you going to wear?" 

The fact that guys are doing this makes me smile so much I think I can go to bed happy and relaxed since my other post here stirred me up to fighting level and the cat is looking at me funny.

ggawlak

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #17 on: January 19, 2007, 01:29:11 PM »
Carol was my complete nemesis.  At the time, I began work as a sales & catering assistant/executive secretary at a large hotel.  Carol had occupied the position before me, but was promoted to Sales Director right before I was hired.

From Day One she made my life there living hell.  As I had come from the medical field and had no prior experience in this type of work, there was a learning curve to which I had to adjust.  Carol didn't understand that, and literally jumped on every mistake I made.  She was good friends with the General Manager, our direct supervisor, and would trip over herself to get to her quickly and inform her of all the trouble and mistakes I had made.  She never failed to point out how *she* did something, or to remind me of all of my shortcomings. 

The hotel chain (which is worldwide) established an employee reward program whereby customers and guests of the hotel and restaurant would nominate an employee they had felt went above and beyond the call of duty for them.  The reward was a green ribbon you got to proudly display beneath your name badge. After receiving a couple from some clients I had worked with, Carol went to the GM and complaining, saying that I shouldn't be eligible for rewards of this type since I could technically be considered 'management'.   ::)

Once, I casually mentioned to her that I was planning a vacation in August of that year, and wanted to see if our hotel chain had any rooms available then at my destination.  I couldn't figure out then why she scoffed and turned away from me.  Another employee later told me that she was angry because SHE wanted to take a vacation in August too, and was afraid I would beat her to the punch.  After checking hotel availability, I put in for my vacation that afternoon with my boss.  On her desk, I see Carol's vacation request, which hadn't been there before my conversation with her.  That turned out well though, since Carol's vacation request was the week before mine, and that meant I didn't have to see the witch for two whole weeks (of pure bliss).

Carol smoked like a chimney in the office (this was back in the 80's, before the banning of smoking in the workplace), but when another manager who was profoundly allergic to smoke complained, she blamed me and exonerated herself completely, saying she only smoked in her car when she was out on sales calls.

Carol would also throw work assignments for me into the out tray on her desk even if I was standing right next to her.  So it was routine for me to be at her desk, emptying the tray.  Once, I did this just as she was returning to the office and was accused of spying on her and snooping through her things.  Later, I discovered she had good reason to worry about someone snooping:  she had been documenting, in painstaking detail, every single error I had made since Day One of my employment with the company. 

Shortly thereafter, Carol went out on medical leave for several months, during which I took her place as Acting Director of Sales.  I even acquired a couple new accounts for the hotel during that time, one of which was in an office park just down the road from our hotel.  Why Carol never thought to approach them was beyond me, but that certainly rubbed her the wrong way since it made her look bad to the GM.  When she returned from medical leave, she put up a huge "Welcome Back, Carol" banner and had coffee and donuts brought in to celebrate her return.  Apparently that wasn't enough for her.  She huffed back into the office and barely spoke a word to anyone.  Later that day, the GM revealed that Carol was angry that no one had kept in contact with her while she was on medical leave, other than the couple of times the GM had called her for an update on her medical progress or for some paperwork issue.

Just a mere month after that, Carol was fired for non-performance.  She'd spent so much time trying to railroad me that she neglected to go out and drum up new business for the hotel!  I'd never been so happy or relieved as that day in my entire life.




girlmusic

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #18 on: January 19, 2007, 02:22:00 PM »
OO! OOO! I have one!! I was working for a small company in Tech Support. I started out with two other women on my shift and 8 men. For my last few months I was the only woman (both women changed departments). My supervisor began to marginalize me. He would stand around with the guys talking about the local football team (a conversation that I would ignore since I was busy actually doing work) and he would casually mention that we had a meeting the next day and the agenda for that meeting. His back was always to me and I wasn't inclued in the conversation so of course missed the information. My co-worker B would say "hey you'd better stop what you are doing because it's time for the meeting" and I would have had no idea that there even was a meeting.

I spoke to Supervisor about this privately and asked him if he could please remeber to let me know when we were having meetings. He said he couldn't do that because I should be listening to the football conversation (HUH??) instead of working.

caranfin

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #19 on: January 19, 2007, 03:01:00 PM »
I work with a woman who stopped speaking to me about 5 years ago. Actually, she stopped speaking to more than half of her coworkers. We don't know why (but we have our suspicions). All we know is that she will e-mail us if she is forced to tell us something. And if she thinks she's found a mistake in our work, she e-mails our boss. I mean, if I sent out a memo with a typo, she would e-mail my boss, pointing out that I made an error, and was I supposed to do that? And didn't that make it difficult for our customers to understand our memos? Weren't we going to lose respect? Didn't we need some kind of policy in place to prevent this? She is the most childish person I have ever worked with.
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alohomora

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #20 on: January 19, 2007, 04:47:45 PM »
I have two examples of Jr. High behavior: 

In the first instance, the manager of my group was out of the office for a week.  While he was out, some people took it upon themselves to come in a little late or leave a little early.  Apparently some others in the office were keeping track of that.  Because as soon as our manager got back, the tattlers had pulled him off into a conference room to to let him what rules had been broken while he was gone, who broke them, and with what frequency people brokes those rules.  The manager then had to pull us into a meeting and say how disappointed he was in the people who broke the rules, blah, blah, blah. 
I felt like I had been transported back to 3rd grade when the teacher would leave someone "in charge" while they left the room to make copies or something.  ::)  And these people had not been left in charge.  There was still a supervisor who was in the office the whole time the manager was gone.  It would have been up to the supervisor to see people breaking rules and address the issue.  But the tattlers had to have their moment of glory, I suppose.

The second incident was with a store I worked at several years ago.  I was supervising a staff of about 25 people.  I had two assistant supervisors who worked with me and all the others were sales reps. We had a sale going on in the store and to give a customer the discount, a supervisor/asst. supervisor had to enter a code into the computer. I told my asst sups that under no circumstances should they give the sales reps their computer codes. This would allow the reps to enter a discount on their own, but it would also allow them to open the till when there was no sale, etc. In other words, it would be like inviting people to open the registers at will. Not good. 
Anyway, asst sups didn't listen to me. They were both upset because they had applied for the sup position and didn't get it--I did.  So they were passive aggressive with me, tried to side step policies I set up, etc. They assumed this computer code thing was another policy to ignore. 

they gave out their codes--and a rep got caught by our DISTRICT MANAGER opening the register and handling the money.  The rep had no sale, no customer anywhere in the store.  When questioned, he admitted that the asst sups had given him (and others) their codes. The rep didn't steal anything, so he wasn't fired, but he was written up.  As for the two asst sups, they were also reprimanded by Dist. Mgr.  They were both upset by it, but I can't really say I felt sorry for them.  If they had just listened to me instead of trying to prove that I didn't know what I was doing, the whole problem would have been avoided.

Sleepingmediocre

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #21 on: January 21, 2007, 12:15:45 AM »
About five years ago, I worked as a nursing assistant at an assisted-living home.  The building was divided into four halls, and each NA was assigned to work on a certain hall every morning.  Once we were finished with our duties on the hall we were assigned to, we were supposed to check with the nurses on other halls, the housekeeping staff and the kitchen staff to see if anybody else needed help until it was time for us to do our next task.  Unfortunately, most of my co-"workers" interpreted this as "do the absolute minimum you have to in order to complete your assigned task, then sit on your butt at the nurses' station and gossip until it's time to do the absolute minimum you have to in order to complete your next task."  I preferred to stay busy (or at least look busy  ;)) rather than log in "butt time" at the nurses' station, which bothered my co-"worker" Holly to no end.  She started badgering me all the time--even when I was obviously in the middle of doing something important, like giving a diabetic resident an insulin shot--about why I wasn't over at the nurses' station doing more butt time with the rest of them:  "What's the matter, don't you like us?" or even "Don't you think you should be over here with your co-workers instead of wandering around over there?"  (This "wandering" is commonly called WORKING--you should try it sometime!)  All of this was junior-high-ish behavior and bad enough, but the absolute worst came one day when I was assigned to dispense medicine on the hall that had the residents who needed the highest level of care.  This meant that I was constantly running around making sure that everyone had the medicine they needed, and I wasn't able to take any breaks at all, let alone log in any butt time.  I was finally able to squeeze in a fifteen-minute break while most of the residents were eating lunch, and I took the opportunity to go out on the back porch and eat a cup of ramen-noodle soup.  I had eaten about three bites when Holly came bursting out onto the porch and said in a panicked voice, "Sleepingmediocre, you need to come with me RIGHT NOW!  One of the residents is having some kind of a seizure and she needs medicine!"  I jumped up, sending the soup (the only food I had brought with me for my entire twelve-hour shift, BTW) flying out into the parking lot, and ran back into the building.  As soon as we got back inside, Holly burst out laughing, yelled "JUST KIDDING!!" and informed me that that was what I deserved for daring to spend my work day working and not logging in butt time with her and the other NAs!!

Holly was fired less than a week later--she usually worked the night shift, and she got caught sleeping on the job two days in a row.  Guess she never did get the hang of the whole "actually doing what the company pays you to do" thing...

kherbert05

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #22 on: January 21, 2007, 05:10:23 PM »
There is a staff member, that I am beginning to think has some serious issues. No not God Lady - I know she has issues.

This woman (trouble teacher) has had yelling fits, and year long feuds with several other staff members. On one occasion I had to walk into the computer lab and order her, the teacher she targeted that year, and another teacher to get in their classrooms. 2/3 of the 5Th grade were unsupervised because they were standing in the computer lab screaming at each other. Trouble teacher was doing most of the screaming. Thing is this was an open concept school. The "Walls" of the computer lab were plywood and far from sound proof. Every 5Th grader heard the argument. I had to go to the principal and report all 4 of us (I didn't yell - I get quiet when I'm mad. I whispered to victim teacher to go wash her face (she was crying) Trouble teacher to get in her room and control her kids, and Partner in crime teacher to get out of our pod and go do some work.) I still wish victim teacher had called the cops and pressed charges - because when I walked in Trouble teacher was preventing her from leaving by twisting her arm. It left marks.

The next year victim teacher moved to another school. I became Trouble teacher's target. I short circuited her, by refusing to discuss certain issues unless Team Leader was in on the discussion. If she started when kids were around, I would tell her to meet me in Team Leader's room after school and walk away. She didn't dare do the arm grab thing. Her biggest complaint was that my science lessons (I wrote for the entire team) were too hard. Team Leader put the end to that, by asking our AP to meet with us about science lessons. We showed him two samples the "mailbox" stuff Trouble teacher wanted and the "too hard" stuff I was writing. He said the "mailbox" stuff was OK for one intro activity or "reinforce basic facts"  homework, but that the core of our lessons needed to be the higher level Blooms lessons I was writing. She also shot herself in the foot. She found out I was being treated for situational depression after Mom died. I think she got hold of my emergency card, because I add a typed notecard with my meds and brief medical history in case I'm exposed to peanuts and they have to call 911. Shortly after this "the box" was moved to a locked cupboard. She tried to gossip about how I might not be stable (pot calling the kettle black). The staff's reaction was - she lost her Dad then her Mom - what is your problem? Get a life.

This year Troubled teacher has now targeted her former "Partner in Crime". Again screaming fit in the hearing of students - but new principal. She was written up for unprofessional behavior. YEA.

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Twik

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #23 on: January 21, 2007, 05:16:12 PM »
Sleepingmediocr - sounds like the classic study about workers determining the "proper" pace on an assembly line, and subtly punishing those who outperformed.

She was afraid that your extra productivity would be noticed, and she would be expected to step up accordingly. I guess she didn't count that her low productivity would be the first to be noticed.
Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality.

Emmy

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #24 on: January 21, 2007, 05:19:59 PM »
My 'tattling' story.

I used to work at a place that sold ice-cream behind the take-out counter.  A man came up and asked me to read the flavors.  It was a bit of an unusual request, but I complied, maybe he couldn't read or see very well.  Another co-worker walk by and overhears me reading the ice-cream flavors to the man and as I go to get his order, I hear her tattling to a manager on me!!  Of course the manager did nothing because I didn't do anything wrong (unless helping a customer is wrong).

At my current place of work, there is a clique that I am not part of (nor do I want to be).  A man in his mid-40's in the click, goes around and loudly chats near my office so I cannot concentrate, and when I was single he'd try to play matchmaker (in a loud 'this is for my entertainment' type of way in front of other people).  This click will often take food or desserts supplied for a meeting or office function back to a certain room where they take their break instead of keeping it in the kitchen where it is convenient for the masses.

dietcokeofevil

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #25 on: January 21, 2007, 11:06:54 PM »
For my first job out of college, I was working for a large company that had several offices across the United States.  They hired around 15 of us recent grads with the plan that we would work at the corporate office for 6 months, and then either continue to work their or be sent to one of the other offices.  When the 6 months were coming to a close, we were all waiting to hear who would be going where.  One of the women received a phone call from the HR person, saying that HR knew that she had gotten married and that she would be staying at the corporate office.  This women immediately told me, so I called to let HR remind them that I was also recently married, and that I would like to stay at corporate as well.  The HR person then called the other person, and basically reamed her out for discussing a confidential matter that had apparently been agreed too back when the job offer was accepted.  My co-worker then started yelling at me, how she was going to lose her opportunity, blah blah blah.  Finally, I had enough of being yelled at, and told her that if it was part of her initial contract, they would have a hell of a time backing out of it, and if she would have told me that it was part of her contract I wouldn't have bothered to call HR, instead of bragging to me how special she was that they were letting her stay because she was married.  In the end it didn't matter, everyone got to go where they wanted to go, and the other married co-worker got divorced before the 6 months were up and ended up working on a project in another country.

kingsrings

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #26 on: January 22, 2007, 11:00:49 AM »
What is it with office tattle-tales?? I don't work with any, but I do know of some here in other departments that look out for employee mistakes (like coming in late), and then run to their manager, tattling on them. How could they not be ashamed of themselves and feel like little kids, telling the teacher?

Oxymoroness

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #27 on: January 22, 2007, 12:32:02 PM »
What is it with office tattle-tales?? I don't work with any, but I do know of some here in other departments that look out for employee mistakes (like coming in late), and then run to their manager, tattling on them. How could they not be ashamed of themselves and feel like little kids, telling the teacher?

Honestly, I think it depends on the situation.

There have been occasions when I guess you could classify me as a "tattle tale", but before condemed, let me plead my case.  ;)

I work in an art department of 5. Myself, D, A, the Princess and the Slacker. A is a recent hire and the youngest in the group. She's not even been here a year and has worked her tail off. D has been here the longest. She can be the bossiest, but her intentions have been good, and when she and I clashed in the past (we got off on a very wrong foot), we actually sat down, discussed our issues and now we get along. She's actually been trying to change some of her bad habits while I've been working on mine. It's great working with both D and A.

The Princess and the Slacker on the other hand are different. As long as I've known the Princess (for 7 years), she's been whiny (It's not fair!) takes way more than the many inches she's been given. And lately, abuses every fragile privelege we as a department have been given. No one in the company enjoys working with her since she gives every.single.person a hard time they would hand a project over to her. It's moaning and complaining day in and day out with this one. And heaven forbid she gets upset! She'll leave early and call in sick the next day.

The Slacker's been here less time, and has managed to be 10x worse. He does freelancing on company time, using company resources. He barely does any of his own workload and will pawn as much off on other people as possible because he's, "so overwhelmed." Essentially, he's not even doing the baseline job description and he has the lightest load. Yet ... his cubicle is filled with toys, books and magazines. He illegally downloads from the internet. I found border-line p*rn on his machine. He makes racial and sexual jokes and comments, and regulary lies and abuses the sick day policy (which is pathetic to begin with.)

So, do I report these two when I have proof of a major infraction? Yes. I want them gone. They waste resources and produce little or nothing. Especially when D, A or myself are staying late and coming in early only to hear these 2 bellache on how "unfair" our company is ... to them. And in the meantime D, A and myself have to scramble to cover for them, when they're asked to cover for us they refuse.

So I'm a tattle-tale. I'd rather live with that then two useless co-workers who are ruining it for the rest of the department who actually produce.

kingsrings

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #28 on: January 22, 2007, 01:20:46 PM »
Good points oxy, but I don't think of what you are doing as being a tattle-tale. You are being negatively affected by their indiscretions and are simply standing up for yourself and your job. What they are doing is harmful to the whole company, and you are trying to stop it. What I was talking about is someone who goes running to the manager complaining about things (like someone coming in five minutes late) that really don't have any effect on them.

MerryRaven

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Re: Life is not Junior High
« Reply #29 on: January 22, 2007, 01:21:46 PM »
Office tattle taling when some one is 5 minutes late once in a great while is one thing.  

Your two co-workers are part of the junior high mentality I was talking about.  Any one who complains about life being unfair at the work place after the age of about 15 is emotionally stunted.  (And yes I think adults are allowed to complain about life being unfair occasionally to spouses and/or very close friends when you just need a hug).

And the other guy is creating a hostile work enviornment and it seems like his emotional age is under 15 too.  

Reporting non-productive empolyees is not the same at all at tattling.  Tattling is about things most productive workers do occasionally or under great stress.

It is one thing for someone's productivity to falter for a period after a parent dies, quite another if they have never been productive since the first month.