Duplicate DVD Dilemma

[freakyfemme]

Hey all,

On the way home from work, it somehow came up that my mom purchased my brother not only Blahblah Movie, which I'd gotten him on his request, but she'd gotten him Blahblah Movie in a boxed set with Whatsit Movie, as BM is actually the sequel to WM, among other things.  My brother actually already has WM, so he doesn't need another copy of that, but my mom doesn't know that.  Anyway, I asked my mom nicely if she could maybe hold off on giving him those movies (since she'd gotten him other stuff), so I could give him BM (which was the only thing I'd gotten him, as it was pretty expensive--$30 for a movie is a bit steep by students' standards), since he'd asked me for it, and it'd be harder for me to exchange it and find a replacement gift, but she said "Too bad, so sad, you should have asked me first, I bought it a long time ago."; which is all well and good, except while she was doing that, I was at school, with exams, juries, papers, paintings, rehearsals, etc., coming out my ears. 

So, I asked my mom to tell me everything ELSE she got for my brother, so I wouldn't end up replacing one duplicate gift with another duplicate gift.  It so happened that we were in the area of the video store this evening, when we went to pick up my friend because he was coming over but didn't have a ride, so I was able to just run in and exchange it, but now I have to figure out something else to get my brother. The ice skates probably aren't going to happen, because he has huge feet (mens' size 12), so buying him any kind of footwear is an adventure in and of itself, let alone a surprise pair of skates, which I thought I could get my dad to try on in my brother's place, but no dice, his feet are only size 10 1/2.......but that's a whole other story.  Anyway, back to my main point, was I rude for suggesting that my mom hold off on giving my brother Blahblah Movie, or was my mom rude for making me go through the hassle of finding a replacement gift, and saying I was thoughtless for feeling inconvenienced?

Edited to add:  I know buying him another movie sounds logical, but I can never keep track of which movies he owns, or has on his computer.  I only originally bought him BM because he saw it and said he wanted it, and he hates surprises, so I was sort of grateful that he told me point-blank what he wanted.

[LifeOnPluto]

Did your mum know that your brother had asked YOU to buy him Blahblah Movie? Because if she knew you were getting it, but went ahead and bought him a copy herself, that doesn't seem very nice on her part.

Even if she didn't know, I don't see a problem with you asking her reasonably if she would mind returning it. This seems a reasonable request given that:
1) She already had other presents lined up for your brother;
2) The DVD she bought also contained a movie he already had, thus she would merely be duplicating a movie;
3) From what you say, it seems that your schedule is a lot more tighter than hers, thus it would be less inconvenient for her to return her DVD than it would be for you.

That said, I think your mother was also within HER rights to refuse to return her present. Granted, I think the way she expressed this refusal was slightly rude (I hate that "too bad, so sad" line), but it was her decision to make. It would have been NICE of her to return her present, but she wasn't obliged to.

I guess in future, it might be wise to check first with your mum, before buying any other presents...

[LissaR1]

Play dumb   Keep the gift reciept, and give him the movie.  Then he can exchange it for another movie that he wants.  Or he may choose to exchange your mom's set.  I'd say proceed as planned, since it sounds like ideas are scarce on the ground for him. 

But it's late and I'm tired, so that might not be the best solution I've ever come up with.

[freakyfemme]

I guess in future, it might be wise to check first with your mum, before buying any other presents...

I see what you're saying.....but, in my defense, it happened really quickly.  We were at the store to get a different movie for my dad, and I figured I might be able to subtly pick my brother up something at the bookstore we went to next to get what my mom wanted, but he just saw Blahblah Movie and told me he wanted it, so it didn't occur to me to go to the back of the store and call home on my cell to ask about buying the movie......and I'd promised we'd just be in and out at both the movie store and the bookstore (which are, of course, on opposite ends of town), as per the Christmas-gift-buying "system" that my brother and I had devised this year--he knew what our parents wanted (they told him but not me, for some reason), I called a bunch of stores seeing if they had it, and then he drove us, on the condition that I'd be getting the book for my mom, and he'd be getting the movie for my dad, so neither of us would "win" Christmas by managing to get the "perfect" gifts for both parents, while the other one had to guess.  But yeah......it was literally, "Ooh, Blahblah Movie!!!  Freaky, I want that!!!"; and I just sort of had a deer-in-headlights moment and didn't have time to think.