"Just going to the Rest Room! Tra la la!"

[kingsrings]

I worked receptionist jobs for years, and one of the bad things about those jobs is that when you have to go to the bathroom, you have to tell someone so that they can fill in at your desk while you're gone. It is soooo embarrassing to have to do this! It's announcing to the world that you have to go to the bathroom. And I always got ashamed, thinking that I had to go more often than the average person, and my fill-in was probably thinking boy, she's gotta pee/poop a lot and getting all annoyed about it.

[freakyfemme]

While working at the law firm (well, both my parents' law firm, and my dad's friend's law firm), I've had to fill in on reception from time to time, and at BOTH places, I was allowed to go to the bathroom or get a drink/snack from the kitchen without telling anyone.  I guess the rationale was, people won't die if they don't get through THAT MINUTE, and even if they did, they wouldn't have any guarantee of getting through to a lawyer.  My dad's partner just LOVES to stomp around and heave and sigh about how busy and indispensable he is, and put his phone on "do not disturb" for hours at a time.  At one point, it got so bad that I actually had to walk up to his office and tell him, "Mr. Britishdude, the Whatsits are here to see you."; and this was a SCHEDULED CLIENT VISIT that he'd known about in advance.

[Slartibartfast]

I love the phrase that's most common in World of Warcraft if you need to take a potty break and need to let the rest of your group know - just say "afk bio."  AFK = Away From Keyboard, and "bio" = biological break.  So you could be pottying, getting a snack, stretching your legs, going outside for a smoke, grabbing a warmer sweater, etc.  I cracked up the first time I saw it, but it's really all you need to say!

[goblue2539]

then the Starbucks Police will descend down upon them and beat them to a bloody pulp with giant biscottis.

I just got the attention of my entire office by snorting when I read this.  I love it.  Next time one of my siblings irritates me, I'm going to threaten them with giant biscottis.

On topic: The sad fact is that being a receptionist usually means no one hears the ringing phone except you.  It sucks to have to announce bathroom needs, but it's a necessity.  The only way I found to handle this was by finding one person in the office to tell instead of randomly announcing it and hoping the phone would get picked up.

[housewife2k]

I love the phrase that's most common in World of Warcraft if you need to take a potty break and need to let the rest of your group know - just say "afk bio."  AFK = Away From Keyboard, and "bio" = biological break.  So you could be pottying, getting a snack, stretching your legs, going outside for a smoke, grabbing a warmer sweater, etc.  I cracked up the first time I saw it, but it's really all you need to say!

I had to ask Hubby what AFK bio meant the first time I saw it, I couldn't figure out that bio was a contraction, not an acronym. I was asking if it meant "Away from keyboard, bringing in onions, boarding in octopi, big invisable orangutan"
He let the rest of our guild know, and every now and then, one of the will whisper me with "be right back, orangutans again!"

[Sirius]

I used to work for a manager who made us sign in and out on a board if we left the office.  (She told me it was because of one employee who kept disappearing, but she had to treat everyone the same.)  Anyway, if I went  to the restroom I'd write "loo" on the board.  She eventually told me I didn't have to do this.

[LadyJaneinMD]

I've always referred to it as 'Mother Nature is calling', but never at work.  Quite frankly, it's nobody's business about my business at work. lol

However, I am convinced that my toilet at home has a button underneath the seat that signals the phone to ring as soon as it's pressed.  There is a similar button underneath the drain in my shower.   My friends have one, too.
If they get my answering machine, they say, 'Oh, it's the potty button again, isn't it?  I'll catch you later!'

[kathrynne]

I had a job once where my male manager would actually hunt me down in the ladies' room, poke his head in and call for me to talk about stuff that must have been far more urgent than my need to recycle coffee! I told him that since I was already working 100 hours a week if he really needed me that urgently that often he should pay to set up an IV coffee line, catheter and plumbing and put Valium dispensers on my desk. It was obvious that a few moments of relative privacy were too much to request.

Ahhh, the good old days. Life at a small ad agency that landed a national print account and didn't want to hire more people--just kill the few they had.

[behindbj]

Around here, we call for a "health and safety break" when we need to use the facilities if the meeting is going on for too long.

Of course, that's with guests.  If it's just us, it's usually "Can we take a break?  I gotta pee."

Yup, these are my co-workers.  Wouldn't have them any other way.

behindbj

[Suze]

We usually tell each other about our having to take a "walk"

but we work on a assembly line where we have to cover for the one that is gone.  So it is nice to know if they just went to the drinking fountian or are going to be gone a little bit longer.

Also in case of a fire or something that would require leaving the building at least someone would know where you were.  (it could happen, don't want it to, but it could)

[LuckyDucky]

Slightly OT, but I find myself having to announce my *cough* biological intentions in my own house.

I will go to the toilet, and RedNut will realise I am no longer sitting beside him (it takes him a while though).  So he yells out, "Where are you?" and I have to yell back "On the loo" otherwise he will come looking for me. The ick factor is that I keep the door open. It's just the 2 of us and our lord and master, Oliver the Cat likes to sit on the toilet floor and keep me company.  Not a romantic sight to come down the hallway and be confronted with.

So I beat this yelling match, and possible grounds for divorce, by announcing "I am going to the toilet. I may be a while. Don't come and find me"

[kathrynne]

The ick factor is that I keep the door open. It's just the 2 of us and our lord and master, Oliver the Cat likes to sit on the toilet floor and keep me company.  Not a romantic sight to come down the hallway and be confronted with.

It seems I always have at least one "bathroom kitty." Now we have a "shower parrot," as well, since he's a rain forest bird and loves the humidity (yes, it took some getting used to). I believe I was last alone in my own bathroom sometime in 1978, and that's okay.

I had one of those ancient apartments for a while in college where none of the inside doors actually latched, and the first time my new roomie sat down on the toilet she screamed in surprise when my bathroom kitty pushed his way in and demanded her lap. Poor kitty just wanted to keep her company. 

Besides, nothing intrigues a cat more than a closed door.

[Venus193]

Anyway, what I would say, if anything:  "Thanks for sharing! :-)"

That's what I do, with the most pained or condescending expression I can manage.

[Venus193]

It seems I always have at least one "bathroom kitty."

I know this very well.  And what makes cats so perverse about having to relieve themselves when you are a captive audience?

[hobish]

This phrase really cracks me up. You will not BELEIVE how many people whisk through my Starbucks and say in this sing-song voice, loud enough for the whole store to hear, maybe even people outside, "I AM JUST USING THE BATHROOM!!! THEN I SHALL ORDER!!!!! TRA LA LA LA!!!" Ok they don't REALLY say tra la la la but they mine as well.

I don't really think there is a good comeback to that... does anyone have one? It just makes me laugh. When other employees tell me they are going to the bathroom (a little more legitimite so I don't think they have abandoned post) I say "have fun with that" because I don't REALLY care... but I don't think a customer would appreciate that!

What other TMI things do people tell you at work that just makes you want to laugh? 

I had a co-worker tell me he really needed to get off the phone & use the bathroom because he had a turtle head. 


...it doesn't make me laugh, for sure, but if i never hear the word epesiotomy again i might just die happy.