Yes, my house IS a mess!

[housewife2k]

In the last two weeks I have had a rash of unnanounced guests, some family, some friends. My house is currently really messy, as I am sorting and tossing everything we don't need/want/use. The staging area for this is the livingroom/diningroom. From there I can keep an eye on all three kids.  Hubby works between 50 and 60 hours a week, and helps out when he can, but is bone tired when he gets home. I am at my wits end dealing with uninvited visitors commenting on the state of my house. It is not a health hazard, it is not uninhabitable, it is just messy, and getting better. How am I supposed to clean when you show up and park yourself on my couch for an hour?

Has this happened to you? How do you deal with it without pulling your hair out, or being rude?

[Bob Ducca]

I posted on the old board about this- our DD is 13 months and since her father and I work full-time, the house is usually a wreck.  Again, like you, nothing hazardous or unsanitary, but a lot of things just not put away (like folded clean laundry waiting at the bottom of the stairs, or groceries on the kitchen island that haven't gone into the pantry- stuff like that).

The advice I got at the time was, your guests are in the wrong for not phoning first and making sure their visit was welcome.  If they pop in uninvited, they have to take what they get.  However, none of the people who popped in on me were rude enough to comment on the state of my home!

If they do comment, you might say, "I know, it's a mess- maybe next time you can call and give me a chance to straighten up for you."  Normally, pointing out a rudeness is rude, but in this case, I would say go ahead.  You don't have to say it meanly, but there's no law that says you have to take the rudeness of others, especially in your own home.

I stopped answering the door unless I knew someone was coming.

[veryfluffy]

"Yes, it DOES look a complete mess, doesn't it? I've been trying to do a big sort-out, but people keep interrupting me!"

[Clara Bow]

If I say anthing to my mother about her mess she hands me a dustrag. I learned not to say anything.
Hubby and I clean the house every week, we try to straighten daily. But we have a three year old, and that three year old has toys and a room and I think everyone can see where we're going here...
If I have someone drop by I just say "Please excuse the mess, we're doing a little project" or "It's not quite toy pickup time, sorry about the mess." Most people understand, it's not like your house is the only one that ever got messy. If messes scald out their eyeballs then they should call first.

[behindbj]

Wait - people who are imposing themselves upon you are commenting on the state of your house?

I agree with the previous poster - hand them a box and a trashbag.

Unless they are very good friends who will offer to help clean, people do not make comments about my house if they pop in.  Well, more than once anyway.  My standard response to someone commenting on the state of my house is "You're welcome to leave if you like."

Rude - probably.  But so is insinuating yourself into my schedule without my permission and then criticizing things.  It's like inviting yourself to dinner and then complaning about the food.

behindbj

[Cupcake Fiend]

I so need to do that in my own house (stage the whole sorting/tossing stuff out/cleaning extravaganza).

[ZipTheWonder]

I don't get the logic that tells people that they are somehow on higher moral ground when they (a) pop in unannounced and (b) tell you your house is a mess than you are because (they think) you have a messy house.  That's just bizarre....

[housewife2k]

"Yes, it DOES look a complete mess, doesn't it? I've been trying to do a big sort-out, but people keep interrupting me!"

I so need to use that!

[Amitisoo]

I personally can't stand people who make comments about the state of someone else's house. There is a HUGE difference between clutter and dirt. Clutter doesn't hurt you. No one has ever caught a disease from laundry, toys, papers, etc.

I once has a freaky landlord that would freak out about any clutter. In fact she was nuts and had a total meltdown over the fact she didn't like my answering machine message! When my current landlord came in and I apologized for the mess he just laughed and said "you're the one who has to live with it".

In the OP's case I would continue sorting when visitors came and use the opportunity to shove off my old stuff on them. Saves time driving to the donation bins. 

[housewife2k]

Wait - people who are imposing themselves upon you are commenting on the state of your house?

I agree with the previous poster - hand them a box and a trashbag.

Unless they are very good friends who will offer to help clean, people do not make comments about my house if they pop in.  Well, more than once anyway.  My standard response to someone commenting on the state of my house is "You're welcome to leave if you like."

Rude - probably.  But so is insinuating yourself into my schedule without my permission and then criticizing things.  It's like inviting yourself to dinner and then complaning about the food.

behindbj

I had one friend pop by yesterday who volunteered to help watch my kids so I could clean, watch them while I picked the Five year old up from school, and vacuumed while I was gone. When I got home I told him he shouldn't have,, Hid reply, "I didn't need to, but I wanted to, my mom raised me well."

We love his mom.

[housewife2k]

I so need to do that in my own house (stage the whole sorting/tossing stuff out/cleaning extravaganza).

It's well worth doing, but do not start unless you are willing to see it through.  I had been planning on doing this for a while, but when my son brought home some New years info from school, it cynched it. My son is in a Mandarin Chinese imersion school, Chinese new year is Feb 18th. Tradition states that howver clean your house is come new year, that is how it will stay the rest of the year.

[Sharnita]

Guest: "Your house is a mess!"

You: "That is why your visit was such a pleasant surprise. Do you prefer to fold laundry or dust furniture?"

[fklwmn]

I work full time and I'm a single mom with 2 active boys who have not yet grasped the idea of cleaning up after yourself. I can clean for hours and have a SPOTLESS house. an hour after they've been home it looks like a tornado has been through. There is a REASON I don't accept uninvited company When I'm expecting cmpany I usually try to tidy up before they cmoe over but sometimes I just. don't. have. time.

My typical greeting:

"Hi, come in! Excuse the mess.. it's always this way."

[Sterling]

housewife2k are you in China?  I only ask because my supervisor just put a deposit down for a Mandrin school for his children because he will be relocating there in August and he is trying to sort things out so that I can relocate as well.

[Oxymoroness]

Guest: "Your house is a mess!"

You: "That is why your visit was such a pleasant surprise. Do you prefer to fold laundry or dust furniture?"

Ooooooh I like this one!