Yes, my house IS a mess!

[MrsP81]

Guest: "Your house is a mess!"

You: "That is why your visit was such a pleasant surprise. Do you prefer to fold laundry or dust furniture?"

I would do this too. If they are going to make comments about it you can just assume that they are offering to help.

[MineralDiva]

Guest: "Your house is a mess!"

You: "That is why your visit was such a pleasant surprise. Do you prefer to fold laundry or dust furniture?"

Ooooooh I like this one! 

Me too!  Can I steal it?

[housewife2k]

We have two around here somewhere (yep, I love clutter and it loves me)

My house is clean enough to be healthy
and dirty enough to be happy

and

My house is protected by killer dust bunnies

hehe...Killer dust bunnies!!

[Telmereth]

I would take a very dim view about this if it happened to me.
My first instinct would be to say something like "if you don't like it, get the heck out of my house!!"
But that would be unnecessarily confrontational, and I don't recommend it!

Seriously, answer the door with dustpan in hand:
You: "Oh my goodness, your timing is perfect!"
Uninvited and judgemental guest: "It is?"
You: "Yep!" (returning to your work) "You know what they say, many hands make light work..."
Uninvited and judgemental guest: "Huh....?"
*insert evil grin here*

[Ki]

We have two around here somewhere (yep, I love clutter and it loves me)

My house is clean enough to be healthy
and dirty enough to be happy

and

My house is protected by killer dust bunnies

Mind if I steal either of those?  My apartment is always a wreck.  There are 3 of us, and I love a little clutter, while the boys just plain don't notice the mess.  They'll help if I tell them exactly what I want them to do, but figuring it out and then supervising them well enough to make sure it gets done adequately is more work than just doing it myself.  So, it takes me a while each cleaning cycle to get things in order.  My friends know this and will only comment in the process of offering help. 


**WARNING - MOM RANT**
My mother is not so gracious - the 3 of us spent days cleaning to prepare for my parents' visit, and she still pronounced the place filthy, even though all the dishes were clean and put away, all the laundry was done (and therefore off the floor, which was vacuumed), the bathroom sparkled, recycling was set aside, and clutter was minimized.  We just didn't get around to dusting.  When she made this accusation, I pointed out to her that her house isn't immaculate, even though she's a career housewife with no kids at home and a helpful husband, and all 3 of us work - there's no one dedicated to cleaning and household maintenance, we prefer not to use disposable plates and utensils for environmental reasons, we don't have a dishwasher, and we have 3 pets.  If it's still dusty after days of cleaning, we feel pretty darn good about the job we've done.
**END RANT**

[MineralDiva]

The last time my mother came to visit....7 years ago...(she lives across the country, thankfully)...I'd just moved into my last house.  So things were not exactly in their proper places yet. (Not that much has changed...except houses, since then.)

We ordered chicken for dinner and enjoyed it on my lovely patio.  She got sick, and as she was in my upstairs powder room, complained that the toilet was too dirty to throw up in!  (It AND the bathroom, were completely clean.)  She finally had little choice, but to do what she went in there to do, and complained the entire time, about the condition of my house.

When she recovered the next day, she got a scrub bucket and started giving orders to myself and my DD...in earshot of some friends who happened to be on the phone with me at the time, for theatre business.  It was most embarrassing!

I finally told her, "I'm not 12 years old anymore, and this is MY house!  And if I want to shi* in every corner, that's MY business!  If you don't like it, there's the door...and DON'T come back! You hated when Grandma used to do this to YOU, and you will NOT do it to me!   Now you put that bucket and broom down, before I put it where you can sweep the front steps without using your hands, on the way down!" 

Not exactly proper etiquette...but I was very angry.  Particularly that she'd made a scene where people who didn't know her, but knew me, could hear her diatribe.    To the point where the person I was speaking with said, "My God!  What's going on over there?  What is she yelling about?"  I was not on the phone with anyone, when I said this to her though.

She's coming back this weekend...after 7 years.  But she will not be coming to my newest house.  I will be meeting her at her hotel, out of town, and we'll spend the weekend together, sans Mr. Diva (that's a whole 'nother story) while she's in for other business.

I'm actually looking forward to it.  Especially since I won't have to hear about the condition of my house!  (I'm sure my smoking will get enough comments.  But she'll have to get over it.  I won't be doing it near her, or in the room.)

[LadyJaneinMD]

"Yes, it DOES look a complete mess, doesn't it? I've been trying to do a big sort-out, but people keep interrupting me!"

I so need to use that!

I always say, 'Sorry about the mess, but I live this way.'

[housewife2k]

I don't know what it is about Mom's and messy houses. Both my mom and MIL will comment on the state of the house, yet I will here form them and others that when their kids were little, the houses were always a mess. What really cracks me up, I have THREE boys, one special needs, one starting to walk a little too early, and one who is aspiring to be a five year old martial arts movie star. I am lucky when I can clean without running into someone! Mom came over yesterday to drop off some soup, because sometimes you just need Mom Soup, and the first words out of her mouth were "It's filthy in here, how can you stand it!"  At that point, I set down my box of kleenex I had been carting around all day, looked at her, and calmy stated "Mother, I have been sick all weekend, I have a sick Hubby, two sick children, and the one that isn't sick is teething more teeth. If you are not happy with my house, you can do two things-help clean, or leave, and understand that I am not you, I do not live in a child free house with someone who comes in weekly to clean, and for the love of Pete! I am sick!"
She appologized, and offered to take the kids for the day on saturday so if I am feeling better I can actually get something done, and if I am still ill, I can rest.

[Evil Duckie]

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