Thank You Notes.

[CynthiaBelle]

I have a few questions/stories about "thank you notes". (If this is in the wrong place, please move it, I'm sorry.)

1. I recieved more than one, (yes--crazy right), thank you note on hotel stationary. (If you could even call it that..I mean, honestly, it's the pads they leave for you to use...and in the end, most people take.)

2. This past holiday season, we (my DF and I) sent money to an out-of-town (state) niece he has. She just started college, and we thought that extra cash would be a good gift. Her actual response in a thank you note was "Thanks for the money, I could use a little more, afterall, I am a brand new college student! Love, XXXX" I've heard I should be happy we recieved one at all, but give me a break, that's insanely rude. I think she was trying to be funny, and it wasn't, at all.

3. Question: When writing a thank you note (many at once or just one), do you a) write a generalized thank you, handwritten, but not too personal. b) write a handwritten thank you, including updates and\or a story\memory\etc. c) type up a "newsletter" and sign your handwritten names at the bottom. d) something totally different.

I was just curious--I've been going through lots of thank you notes lately, and I was wondering what you guys thought about somethings, and if anyone else had stories??

[Telmereth]

I love getting thank-you notes from people, and equally I manage to write my own - in answer to your question I go for b) a personal, handwritten note.
An anecdote for you about option c) - my second cousin's family send out a similar thing every January. This years said on the bottom "We are very grateful for all the kind gifts we received this year. For next year, please keep in mind that Son is getting married in March, and Grandchild is expected in July!"
It's like a handy gift-giving calendar

As for the student who asked for more money woah, some nerve! I'm a student and I would never ever say something like that, even as a joke!!!

Notes written on hotel stationary is a little odd, IMO, but perhaps forgiveable if the writer wanted the note to be prompt rather than pretty? Still, a little strange!

[Twik]

OK, my takes:

1. Well, why not? Not a lot of people these days have their own stationary. If they have a good-quality piece of paper, they may as well use it. Of course, if it's from one of those little pads where you'd need about 5 sheets to complete the note, it would be a strange choice.

Also, if it's for a wedding present, maybe they're writing from from the honeymoon.

2. If the neice is really trying to be funny, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. If she wasn't, what you received was not a thank you note - it was a begging note.

3. I'm not sure about any of these options. Most of them seem to be combining a thank-you note with a regular "Hi, how are you?" letter. I understood a thank-you should run basically like this. "Thank you for the X. We really like Y about it, and will think of you whenever we use/look at/spend it. We're very grateful for your kindness. Bye!" While I might add "Here's what's going on in our life right now" if it was for someone who we rarely saw, adding a lot of extra stuff would perhaps dilute the thanks.

[moongirl105]

With regard to the college student's note, I took that to mean that she could use a little more than what she already has, and that is why your gift is so appreciated.  I wouldn't be too upset about that one, myself.

I just finished writing thank-you notes for a baby shower, and while I used some of the same phrases in each note, I wrote something special in each one.  For instance, I might use, "it was wonderful to visit with you at the baby shower" for a majority of them, but I also made sure to mention each gift specifically and how much it was appreciated, especially since there might have been multiple gifts from a variety of givers.  Long story short, I favor something personal written to each giver.

[Sharnita]

1) I see no problem with using hotel stationary. I don't think a thank you is more or less meningful because of the stationary it is written on.

2) The first time I read it, I had no clue what you were upset about. I read it as a laughing reference to the ongoing money shortages college students face. I didn't see it as a possible solicitation for more money until the second reading. The intent could be totally benign and I would take it that way unless she has a previous history of requesting monetary gifts from you.

[TZ]

With regard to the college student's note, I took that to mean that she could use a little more than what she already has, and that is why your gift is so appreciated.  I wouldn't be too upset about that one, myself.

That's exactly how I read it too.  I think it's possible she meant it the way the OP took it, but it took me a while to figure out why it might be offensive.  I would give her the benefit of the doubt.

I always write a personal, hand-written note, a lot like Twik's example. 

[lolane]

1. I don't see anything wrong with this. These days I'm just happy to receive the TY note at all, I don't complain about the paper.

2. Was the emphasis hers or yours. If it's hers then her note was maybe a (bad) joke. If the emphasis was yours, it was m and talk most likely a bad joke.

3. I do a personalized note, but I don't make it a whole catching up note. Either I mention the gift and talk about how I am looking forward to using it and say it was great seeing the person (if I saw them), or I thank them for whatever nice thing they did, and say how I can't wait to see them at some point in the future (at Christmas, next month etc.)