Author Topic: They are my clothes! (Read 8166 times)

Ko-Ko · « **on:** January 18, 2007, 08:08:18 PM »

Remember the post I wrote about my annoying grandmother? Well, she is causing trouble again. She was over a few days ago, and I decided to be nice and show her some photos from a school trip I had been on. One of the pictures was a picture of me with some friends at the hotel pool. She looked at the picture, noticed that I was wearing a halter top swimsuit, and blew up. She started yelling that it was innappropriate, it was too low cut, people would get the wrong idea, not to mention there were boys around! Enough about the boys! Half the population is male, so she is going to have to get used to the idea. Sure the top is fairly low cut, but it is a swimsuit! I said, "Grandma, I know you are trying to help, but this is how girls my age dress when they go to the pool. Things are different than when you my age, and swimsuits like this are normal now."

She actually quieted down after that, and the rest of the visit went on uneventfully. Unfortunately, my father came home a couple of days later and said Grandma had a gift for me. I opened the box, and found a one-piece swimsuit. She pulls this PA behavior all the time to get people to do what she wants. I have decided to give the swimsuit to charity, as there is no way I will wear it. Since my parents are spineless when it comes to her, is there anything I can do about her? And do PA presents require a thank you note? Thanks for reading.

Ko-Ko

RoseRose · « **Reply #1 on:** January 18, 2007, 08:13:53 PM »

Yes, PA presents require a thank you note.

And, as for what you can do, will your parents back you up if you stand up for yourself?

Ko-Ko · « **Reply #2 on:** January 18, 2007, 08:17:35 PM »

I think they would stand up for me, but I would have to say something first. They wouldn't start defending me from her on their own though.

Ko-Ko

RoseRose · « **Reply #3 on:** January 18, 2007, 08:19:41 PM »

Then defend yourself, like you did with the bathing suit. Just ignore the PAness that you can, and when she says something overt, make a comment about how her choices and yours don't have to be the same.

But then, I never did a very good job of standing up to my grandmother's PAness... so maybe my advice might not be the best.

IndianInlaw · « **Reply #4 on:** January 18, 2007, 08:20:59 PM »

Just get rid of it and be done.

Like water off a duck.

Ko-Ko · « **Reply #5 on:** January 18, 2007, 08:35:42 PM »

She is a very scary woman. $:-\$ I'll do the best I can standing up to her. And the thing is, if that doesn't work, she uses guilt. It's a Jewish thing.

Unfortunately, I didn't inherit this ability.

Ko-Ko

LifeOnPluto · « **Reply #6 on:** January 18, 2007, 08:55:15 PM »

Just write a brief thank-you note, then give the one-piece away to the Salvos or somwhere.

Old people can have no idea about fashion. One time, my (late) grandmother came to our house early in the morning in the summer. She commented (genuinely, without being smart or sarcastic) that I was wearing a "nice outfit".

The kicker was, I was in my pyjamas!

Chocolate Cake · « **Reply #7 on:** January 18, 2007, 08:58:31 PM »

You know.....this post doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

When your Grandmother was a young woman, the bikini was introduced and became very popular. One of the most popular styles included a boy-leg bottom and a halter neck top. Even if she didn't go for a bikini at that time, there were plenty of scoop neck and V-neck one piece suits. It isn't as though the styles when your Grandmother was your age were high necked, long sleeved, full length swimming outfits (e.g. early 1900's). If she did any swimming at all, her swimsuits wouldn't have been all that different than how you described yours. Plus, pools were no longer segregated by sexes since before she would have been born.

The "believability" factor is missing with this post.

RoseRose · « **Reply #8 on:** January 18, 2007, 09:03:32 PM »

Quote from: Ko-Ko on January 18, 2007, 08:35:42 PM

She is a very scary woman. $:-\$ I'll do the best I can standing up to her. And the thing is, if that doesn't work, she uses guilt. It's a Jewish thing. Unfortunately, I didn't inherit this ability.

Ko-Ko

My grandmother uses Jewish guilt on me a lot. It's hard to stand up to.

EDIT: You mention Jewish guilt... how religious was she growing up? That could explain the clothing issues.

Ko-Ko · « **Reply #9 on:** January 18, 2007, 09:46:16 PM »

Quote from: Chocolate Cake on January 18, 2007, 08:58:31 PM

You know.....this post doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

When your Grandmother was a young woman, the bikini was introduced and became very popular. One of the most popular styles included a boy-leg bottom and a halter neck top. Even if she didn't go for a bikini at that time, there were plenty of scoop neck and V-neck one piece suits. It isn't as though the styles when your Grandmother was your age were high necked, long sleeved, full length swimming outfits (e.g. early 1900's). If she did any swimming at all, her swimsuits wouldn't have been all that different than how you described yours. Plus, pools were no longer segregated by sexes since before she would have been born.

The "believability" factor is missing with this post.

The believability factor? I'm just repeating what she said to me. I don't know how she dressed when she was my age, but I do know she has been very uptight and stiff as long as I've known her. I don't know why she has problems with boys either, but she definitely has problems with my other female cousins and I being around them. Maybe she had some kind of traumatic experience as a young woman, or maybe it is just how she was raised or something like that. I don't know, but either way it is a problem for me, and I'm very upset by it. I also think it's unfair for you to basically state that I'm lying, when it's not as if this is something totally outlandish. Who hasn't had to deal with a parent, grandparent, or other relative seeming like they disagree with anything you do?

Have a nice day.

Ko-Ko

Chocolate Cake · « **Reply #10 on:** January 18, 2007, 09:59:27 PM »

Yes, the believability factor. It goes far beyond being upset with a relative's disapproval. There are certain posts every now and again whereby the details, over time, don't seem to add up. The characters discussed are presented as very one dimensional. The depth is missing. That's what I'm getting here. I'm sorry that my interpretation offends you. Unfortunately, your reply did not dissuade me from my belief. In fact, that great Shakespearean line from Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." immediately came to mind. Sorry.

For your ease of mind, I'll let "sleeping dogs lie" beyond this point so you can enjoy your thread without further dissention from me.

Twik · « **Reply #11 on:** January 18, 2007, 10:28:40 PM »

I should point out that we have another thread at the moment about how our mothers' words come out of our mouths. KoKo's grandmother may have been subect to the same treatment by her grandmother, so she feels duty-bound to continue the tradition. Also, there's a shock factor in seeing someone you still mentally consider a child "bursting out" of a barely-there bikini.

As far as the one-piece, is it a nice one-piece? They can be just as attractive as a bikini, and better for actual swimming. If it's not attractive, though, just give it away and keep on wearing what you want.

Rose2Bear · « **Reply #12 on:** January 18, 2007, 10:34:23 PM »

Quote from: Chocolate Cake on January 18, 2007, 09:59:27 PM

Yes, the believability factor. It goes far beyond being upset with a relative's disapproval. There are certain posts every now and again whereby the details, over time, don't seem to add up. The characters discussed are presented as very one dimensional. The depth is missing. That's what I'm getting here. I'm sorry that my interpretation offends you. Unfortunately, your reply did not dissuade me from my belief. In fact, that great Shakespearean line from Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." immediately came to mind. Sorry.

For your ease of mind, I'll let "sleeping dogs lie" beyond this point so you can enjoy your thread without further dissention from me.

Eh based on her other post about the grandma, I'd say this is probably true. Grandmas get weird in their old age.

I did, however, raise my eyebrows at the post about the mother/soccer ball incident....

But I'd say this doens't sound too terrible. Who's to really say.

Ko-Ko · « **Reply #13 on:** January 18, 2007, 10:38:37 PM »

It's not really a bad one piece, but I haven't worn one of those for ages, as I find them difficult to put on and remove, especially after they are wet. Also, I've always thought I looked a little chubby in one pieces, but for some reason, I'm fine with a halter

go figure. Anyway, I probably wouldn't keep it anyway, because it's the principle of the thing. I'll give it to charity, so someone can get some use out of it. ANd as much as I don't want to, I will send a thank you note.

Ko-Ko

Rose2Bear · « **Reply #14 on:** January 18, 2007, 11:00:57 PM »

It could definetly be plausible. I don't think anyone meant to be hostile, in fact perhaps ChcolateCake misjudged the age of KoKo's grandmother. After all, there are grandmothers to 17 year olds who are in their 50s... or in the 60s... or in their 70s! I don't think anything is taking a "turn," I think there was just some confusion about the fact pattern.

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