Do all teenagers whine this much?

[Mrs. Eclipse]

Something I use with my students (of all ages) is to interrupt them and say "You aren't WHINING are you?"  They will almost always say "No" and then restate their question or comment in normal tones. 

Oooh, my mom used to do this to me and it drove me absolutely crazy! 

But, apparently, it works, so there you go  .

[Evil Duckie]

Yes teens whine and yes it irritates the adults.

Depending on the situation and my mood. I cut it off by a couple of methods.

1- warn them and then ignore them
2- ask them if they want to 2 again if so I will treat as such
3- a smart alec comment, my 2 favorites- "I am sorry about not being able to find my electron microscope so I can play my violin for you" or "Now where is that cheese we have a good whine here"

[ccnumber4]

Something I use with my students (of all ages) is to interrupt them and say "You aren't WHINING are you?"  They will almost always say "No" and then restate their question or comment in normal tones. 

Oooh, my mom used to do this to me and it drove me absolutely crazy! 

But, apparently, it works, so there you go  .

See?   

It also say "Did you just call me 'dude'?" when a student has indeed, just called me dude.  I always get "Oh.  Sorry."  And they very rarely repeat it.  I think sometimes, it just doesn't occur to kids that they way they talk to their friends is not always appropriate with adults. 

[TZ]

If it makes you feel any better, my neighbor teaches college courses. Yes, COLLEGE. She gets the same treatment there. Oh--did I mention that she's teaching America's future TEACHERS?! 

Yup.  My college students are 18-19, and they're constantly whining about the fact that I actually administer the weekly quizzes I am required to give them. 

[Suze]

I used to get a different response from my Mom and Grandma.  When I was whining about wanting something ridiculous.

Grandma like some strange poems and one of her faves was one called "Mattie's Wants and Wishes" (don't remember author)

The first line was

I wants a piece of calico to make my doll a dress
I doesn't wants a big piece, a yard will do I guess.

Mattie was I think the original entitlement girl


I heard -- I wants a piece of calico --- a LOT as a kid.  (I was a good whiner)

[emeraldsage85]

Tell them that if they would like to be treated like adults they should act like adults.

[Scritzy]

I used to have a whining boyfriend, and every time he started, I'd say, "Oh, wait … let me get out my sympathy book. Now where did we end last time? Page seven? Okay, I'm ready now. You can begin." He finally got tired of me doing it, so he quit whining in my presence.

Chip likes the "tiny violin" technique. He still does it behind my mother's back sometimes and it cracks me up.

I used to lead a teen girls' group at church, back when I was still in my right mind, and my usual answer to "It's not faaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr!" was a simple, "What is?" End of conversation.

[freakyfemme]

I peer-assisted an open grade ten drama class during my last year of high school, which is definitely *not* an endeavour for the faint of heart.  Oddly enough, though, I tried actually talking and relating with the students, and while some of them were just troublemakers no matter what I did (doing aerial somersaults off the blocks, leaving class and wandering around the school, throwing things, flicking the lights on and off, hitting on me, refusing to participate in activities that they'd enjoyed and participated in enthusiastically only days before), a lot of the students responded well to techniques such as "reflective listening" and "I-messages."  For example, it might go something like this.

ME:  Okay, grade tens, it's time to start our lesson today.  First, we're going to talk a bit about improv, and then we're going to play some improv games.  *Walks over to the blackboard and writes the word 'IMPROV' in big letters.* Now, who can tell me what improv is?

STUDENT:  You mean we have to write this down?!?!

ME:  You don't enjoy sitting and writing, do you?  I'm getting the sense that you'd rather get up and move than sit here.

STUDENT:  Yeah, writing notes is boring!!!

ME:  Well, I can understand your frustration, Murgatroid.  I promise that this won't be long, and the more everyone co-operates, the faster it'll go, and the sooner we can start the activity.

STUDENT:  Well, okay, Freaky.  But, when we get started, can I go first?

ME:  I love your enthusiasm!  You can go first if you finish copying this down.  (Or some variation thereof--sometimes, it'd have to be, "Gee, Murgatroid, I love that you're so enthusiastic, but you went first last time, and I promised Megan she could go first today.  But, as always, everyone will get a chance to participate.")

[Balletmom]

Freaky did a great job of posting about how to deal with teenage whines--sometimes they really do need a lesson in dealing with their feelings more than anything else.

The one thing I caution against is sarcasm. It's wounding to them. They don't get it, and it's belittling.

[freakyfemme]

Freaky did a great job of posting about how to deal with teenage whines--sometimes they really do need a lesson in dealing with their feelings more than anything else.

The one thing I caution against is sarcasm. It's wounding to them. They don't get it, and it's belittling.

Why, thank you, Balletmom.   As for sarcasm....some teenagers *do* get it (I know I did), and their immediate knee-jerk reaction is, "You're being deliberately dismissive and refusing to even try to see things from my point of view, so I'm not going to try to communicate or co-operate with you any further."

[Balletmom]

Freaky did a great job of posting about how to deal with teenage whines--sometimes they really do need a lesson in dealing with their feelings more than anything else.

The one thing I caution against is sarcasm. It's wounding to them. They don't get it, and it's belittling.

You're welcome.  I should have added, they don't get why you are using it...You are exactly right again. They feel dismissed immediately and some will just shut down.

Side story: My younger daughter (10) and her ballet class engaged in a round of what the teacher/director considered whining, about a casting decision. He had been dealing with reactions to casting all week so his tolerance/patience level was much lower than usual. He proceeded to put them through a grueling class workout with many demanding and exhausting combinations.

My daughter came home, had some Motrin for her aching muscles, and said basically, "Point taken!" We did talk about how while the group's feelings were understandable, they had to respect the director's decisions and stop talking about it. Also, when you work closely and for a long time with anyone, you have to learn to read and respect their moods.

Why, thank you, Balletmom.   As for sarcasm....some teenagers *do* get it (I know I did), and their immediate knee-jerk reaction is, "You're being deliberately dismissive and refusing to even try to see things from my point of view, so I'm not going to try to communicate or co-operate with you any further."