Vent - Get out of her ear!

[supotco]

I had a friend whose boyfriend (now husband) did this. I basically will not see them together, because I feel embarrassed by their constant licking, kissing and groping.

I tend to think it's some kind of territory marking. Either 'Look! This one's MINE!' (better than peeing on her) or 'Look at ME! I've got a GIRLFRIEND!'

[jaxsue]

Back when I attended church, there was a 20-something married couple. He played the piano for the services, but I never liked him - there was something yucky about his personality. He'd be all over his wife during the service! There were times she'd come to church with big hickies on her neck. Just gross.

And yes, he was very macho, controlling, and treated her like his possession.

[Suze]

maybe you ought to look at him and tell him you are not a cat -- she can wash her ears by herself

[MineralDiva]

I don't understand why the rest of the group hasn't spoken up about this too.  These two should not be part of civilized dining, if they can't behave in a civilized fashion.

Why is the mother not embarrassed to bring them?  Or is she some sort of control freak too, to willingly and regularly subject you all to such a display of poor taste, between the three of them?

You all need to re-visit the "rules of engagement" with this woman.  She needs to understand that this behavior is not welcome, and since they are her "guests" at this dinner, she needs to either get them to stop it...or stop bringing them.  And if that means she doesn't come herself, then so be it!

[Twik]

She and I rarely get a chance to hang out alone because he doesn't think wives should do things without thier husbands but I asked her at lunch once about it and she syas anytimes she asks him not to do this he starts screaming at her about how she doesn;t love him and is seeing someone else behind his back.

Uh-huh. It's not "I am in such throes of passion for you that I can't control myself", it's "you'll let me maul you in public so that everyone knows that you're mine."

I've never been in the situation, but if I was involved with someone who repeatedly accused me of infidelity on no evidence, I hope I'd bail so quickly he'd be left yelling at my dust.

[willow08]

Hehe

To the OP: Perhaps you should turn and start picking imaginary fleas out of your friends' hair. If the boy and his girl start to notice the weirdness, tell them that's how they're making you feel.

That's pretty good, but I would definitely let the "groomee" know what you're doing before they get insulted. You're basically impying they have fleas!

[willow08]

I don't why some couples are so much like that, especially in a public setting. Do they just have some major co-dependancy issues?

But they're in LUUUUUUUVVVVVV. Can't you see how much in love they are? Why can't you understand? They must proclaim their love to the world!!! Bleah!

I knew a couple like this in a college, they were always going on and on about how special their love was, how no one could understand it. They were constantly paranoid about people trying to interfere or "destroy their relationship."

Exchanges with them went a little bit like this.

Me: Hey, Jane, you want to go bowling with the girls from our dorm on Friday?
Jane: Can John come?
Me: Well, it's more of a girls night out. I don't think he would be comfortable.
Jane: But weekends are our special couples time. He would be so hurt if I spent Friday night with other people. Can't you understand how special that time is to us? Why are you trying to break us up? Why can't you just understand that we are in love? No one understands how spiritually connected we are. The whole world is against us!
Me: Ummm, no, seriously, I was just asking if you wanted to go bowling on Friday.

Eventually, they didn't have to worry about people trying to interfere with them because NO ONE WANTED TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR THEM. And they broke up sophomore year.

[supotco]

Oh, the above reminds me of some acquaintances of mine. When the breakup happened, the female party had a thin time of it socially for a while since everyone had got used to not inviting her anywhere. Can't speak for the guy.

Yesterday, I was at Bath Spa. The top part of it is a roof pool - basically an outdoor rooftop swimming pool with natural thermal waters rather than your standard chlorinated stuff.

Lots of couples seemed to be confused by the fact that they were halfdressed but in public. I'd really rather people not kiss and grope in the middle of the pool, especially not when I am trying to have a swim. As the lifeguard said at one point, 'You want to stick your hand up/down your partner's swimwear? You do it somewhere else'

[kingsrings]

At the apartment complex where I live, we have actually had a few instances of couples engaging in sex in the swimming pool. A public swimming pool that is wide-open for everyone to see, and one time it was during the afternoon.

[twinkletoes]

I agree with the poster who wondered why they would do such a thing in public, and especially in front of his MOTHER!  That just beats all.

I can be a blunt person, and I would probably say, and not very quietly, "Could you stop sticking your tongue down her ear?  We're all trying to eat."  Or the more direct "get a room!"  Is there any way a few of you could maybe talk to the mother?  Or maybe the group leader could try to institute "members only" dinners for the next few months?

I have to wonder about her, especially as it seems she's just putting up with his groping and pawing.  I like a quick peck on the cheek or a hug from my husband, but I don't make out with him in public!  I'd be embarrassed if he was climbing all over me.

[Twik]

And they broke up sophomore year.

That's not just unsurprising, it's virtually inevitable.

[shadowfox79]

Is there any way a few of you could maybe talk to the mother?  Or maybe the group leader could try to institute "members only" dinners for the next few months?

I have had a chat with a couple of other members since. I don't think "members only" is a possibility - people do tend to bring husbands and wives, even when they aren't members, so it would be punishing them too - but I gather that I'm not the only one getting a bit fed up of the ear-licking and neck-nibbling when we're trying to eat our dinner, so I think one of the events organisers is going to have a polite word with his mother.