The Bob Chronicles... 1 of many...

[kethria]

I know I am new to the board but I just have to share the stories of one of  my best friends, and non-biological "brother" Bob. (Name changed to protect the innocent...)

Bob and I have known each other since we were 12, which is more than half of our lives. We went to middle school and high school together. I'm essentially Bob's only friend. I am also very close to his brother Jimmy, their mother Meggie etc etc etc.

Anyhow... this is one of the most recent Bob episodes, and I just had to share...

Meg, the mom, is this wonderful kindergarten teacher. I adore her. She loves me because she secretly wanted a baby girl so I was "adopted" as official daughter. Meggie has a problem in that she comes from a family of alcoholics, and lately we had been noticing that Meg had been drinking quite a bit. At first it was super bowl parties, or birthday parties. Then it was every Friday, and I really got concerned when I went over on a Tuesday and noticed she was making a rum and coke. She usually has a few, goes to bed, wakes up with a headache, and then gets more stressed from work. I was very concerned.

So I sat down with my "brothers" and said essentially that it was not my place as a "non-family member" as close as I am to them, to say anything, but that we really REALLY need to do something about Mom.

I said that I thought if we confronted her, that she would get upset, but my plan was to encourage her to go to the gym with me, because she drinks due to "stress" and that maybe she would feel better after having exercised.

Jimmy and Bob both agreed this was a good idea. It was not pointing fingers, and they would confront the alcoholism head on. So I told Meg that I was feeling fat (true) that I wanted to go to the gym (true) and I hated going  by myself (true). She then stated that she had a membership and could get me one  half price and we could go together! Hooray!

Until Bob and Meg got into a fight. I got a call from Jimmy and headed over to see if I could referee the fight, and I walk into the kitchen to hear Bob shouting... "AND ANOTHER THING... everyone here thinks you are a LUSH. Even KETHRIA thinks you're an alcoholic. That's why she wanted to go to the gym with you so you don't BOOZE UP EVERY NIGHT..."

Meg turned around and looked at me and said "Kethy is this true?"

Ummmm....

I stammered and said something to the effect that I was worried, but my main motivation to go to the gym was to lose weight and spend time with her.

I wanted to kill Bob.

I have learned not to say anything that I don't want repeated to Bob...

Ah well.

[Olivia]

It's really unfortunate that he did that.  I'm sure he said it in anger, but what a way to derail the plans you all had to help his mom without causing her to be embarassed or defensive.  I hope you can start over and still help her. 

[kethria]

We're trying, Jimmy and I spoke this morning he suggested that we call his Aunt Sally and Meggie's cousin Liz. Some kind of "intervention" type thing...

[goblue2539]

It sounds like the best thing you can do is make an effort to keep your gym plans with her.  That way, even if you are forced to speak on the drinking, you can prove that it wasn't the only reason you asked her to go work out with you.  The actions will definitely speak louder than words there.  If the gym plan drops off the face of the earth she'll think that Bob was 100% right, where as it sounds like he was only about 60% right. 

[IndianInlaw]

Bob needs a beating with the clue by 4.

[Tabris]

Gee, I wonder why you're Bob's ONLY friend...?

[Lisbeth]

I think you need to have a little sit-down with Bob...

But if you were committed to going to the gym with Meg, I agree with goblue2539 that you need to be ready to keep doing it (assuming Meg is willing after that lashing out from Bob-I would not be surprised if she isn't).

I hope that no matter what she is able to get help.