Author Topic: Wow.  (Read 11883 times)

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XRogue

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Re: Wow.
« Reply #30 on: November 15, 2007, 02:56:29 PM »
2 things are telling to me. The mom is on the sister's side, and when the wife went to talk to the sister, she apparently behaved in such a way that police were summoned, and charges were a possiblity.

I'm thinking the mother knows both her kids and sides with one over the other. Something pretty serious would have to be going on within the family for me to encourage my daughter not to donate bone marrow to my son. Now no-one is saying, but this is a mother about to lose her son and she's telling her DD not to donate? Simplest explanation is usually the truth, and in this case, the simplest explanation is that leukemia patient has done something heinous.

The wife's behavior here is pretty unusual too. Yes, I'd be desperate were I in her shoes, but I would also be able to remember, being angry, or assaulting my SIL is not going to make her donate. No need to make any prior issues worse. Beg and plead, grovel as necessary, but make such a disturbance that police get involved? Erhm, no. Not a good plan.

I'm not saying I agree with not donating. I would donate, but in such a way that the donee would not be around me, and make it clear this does not mean I resume contact with such person. And I admit freely, such donation would be done for my own peace of mind, only. Don't wanna try living knowing I could have helped and didn't.

rashea

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Re: Wow.
« Reply #31 on: November 15, 2007, 02:57:00 PM »
Let's see, I'm going to try to see this from the other side as that article.
They never got along well. The brother describes her a jealous, but maybe she just got tired of him rubbing her face in his success. They rallied around him. Then his family started playing games with visitation. They have huge fights where every last wrong in the past 20 years is brought up. She withdraws from him. They fight over something around the kids. The sister finally gives up and withdraws completely. The wife shows up at her door and accuses her of trying to kill her brother and then assaults her when she says she is tired of hearing about it and "Fine, whatever". He takes it to the media and tries to make her look evil.

I don't know what happened, but the article is horribly one-sided. I know that the sister isn't talking, but this is pretty lousy journalism. I hate that they describe the process as having no long term side effects. They don't know the sister's health, and I doubt brother would tell them if the reason she didn't want to give was medical. I wouldn't do it because for someone like me the risks are huge (as in more pain to live with the rest of my life).

The brother was a jerk to take this public, and good for the sister for refusing to give in to the media!
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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kajunchick

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Re: Wow.
« Reply #32 on: November 15, 2007, 03:21:17 PM »
Read My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. It actually has a similar story line, plus it's a great book.

I was about to suggest that. I read that book about a year ago, and was struck by the conflict between the two sisters as well as the mother.

In this situation, I agree with the PPs, we don't know the whole story. Personally, I don't care what kind of problems I was having with my brother, I would give it a try, at least for my nieces and nephews sakes.
Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.


Shannon

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Re: Wow.
« Reply #33 on: November 16, 2007, 01:55:53 PM »
Let's see, I'm going to try to see this from the other side as that article.
They never got along well. The brother describes her a jealous, but maybe she just got tired of him rubbing her face in his success. They rallied around him. Then his family started playing games with visitation. They have huge fights where every last wrong in the past 20 years is brought up. She withdraws from him. They fight over something around the kids. The sister finally gives up and withdraws completely. The wife shows up at her door and accuses her of trying to kill her brother and then assaults her when she says she is tired of hearing about it and "Fine, whatever". He takes it to the media and tries to make her look evil.

I don't know what happened, but the article is horribly one-sided. I know that the sister isn't talking, but this is pretty lousy journalism. I hate that they describe the process as having no long term side effects. They don't know the sister's health, and I doubt brother would tell them if the reason she didn't want to give was medical. I wouldn't do it because for someone like me the risks are huge (as in more pain to live with the rest of my life).

The brother was a jerk to take this public, and good for the sister for refusing to give in to the media!

I'm pretty sure (and someone from the UK correct me if I'm wrong) that the Daily Mirror is kind of a trashy tabloid, on par with the National Enquirer.  I'm guessing the brother sold his story to them, which would explain the one-sidedness.

Dindrane

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Re: Wow.
« Reply #34 on: November 16, 2007, 03:57:59 PM »
After reading the various articles, all I'm really convinced of is that it's a complex situation that nobody but the parties involved are fully aware of.

The sister could be a b-ch, the brother could be awful, the brother's partner could be unhinged, the mother could be uncaring.  But we as outsiders don't know what the true family dynamic is.

Perhaps the sister didn't want to give her brother a bone marrow transplant because she was pettily jealous of his success.  I personally doubt that, but it could be true.

Or perhaps the sister has her own reasons for not wanting to give her brother a bone marrow transplant, and she doesn't wish to discuss something that should be personal with the public.  She might have really good reasons, she might not.  But she has told nobody what her reasons are, and it's assuming a lot to say that they were either good or bad.

My own inclination is that much of what the brother and his partner say about the sister is subject to several different opinions (the partner, at one point, says the sister smirked at her - well, maybe she did, or maybe the partner just thought she did).  But hundreds of people die every day because of medical problems like this, and they don't go to the press to shame a particular donor into giving up some of her own tissue against her will.

That's really what I can't get around.  No matter what the family dynamic, the reasons the sister had for not donating, the actual character of the sick brother - the brother went public and smeared his sister, and the sister refrained from commenting on a personal decision.  Whatever the underlying reasons, the sister's actions towards the press are far more appropriate.


HermioneGranger

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Re: Wow.
« Reply #35 on: November 26, 2007, 09:48:00 AM »
My brother would probably say similar things about me, as I'm the only one who refuses to fall for his manipulation and lies.  I'm not trying to sound heartless but I wouldn't shed a tear if he keeled over dead tomorrow.  He's a waste of oxygen, and hasn't contributed anything worthwhile to society since the day he was born.  I won't give him the time of day, much less any of my organs. 

At least the sister hasn't resorted to slinging it right back at him, and I agree that it speaks volumes that the mother is backing the sister.