Is a thank you so hard?

[indifferent]

A 'friend' and her kids received gift cards from my husband and I over Christmas. To this day, we have not heard a simple thank-you for. Nada. Nothing. Each of her 3 kids had a gift card for a generous amount. The kids are 12, 10, and 9.

Is it too much for any of them to just say thanks? I don't want a parade celebrating my generosity. A simple acknowledgment would be fine.

Her whole family was at our home and I asked them if they had the chance to use the gift cards we gave them. They said they hadn't. End of conversation. When they received the cards back in December we heard not a peep from them either.

I'm seriously rethinking this friendship because I feel used. There are other examples of why I feel this is a lopsided friendship but this lack of appreciation just fries me.

Thoughts? Comments?

[Tabris]

Continue the friendship if you like, but discontinue the gift cards.

If they ask, you can be PA and say you realized you were imposing on them by giving them things they didn't want, and since they were uncomfortable with asking you to stop, you spared them the discomfort.

Or you can just reply that you have decided not to give them gifts the next time they ask where their gifts are.

If the friendship continues when you aren't giving them gifts, then they aren't using you. If it stops, then you know where you stood.

[Emmy]

I agree, continue the friendship, but discontinue the gift cards.  If they are nervy enough to ask why, just mention that the children seemed less than thrilled to receive them last year.  Sadly it sounds as if your friend is ungrateful and raising her kids to be like that as well.

[Lisbeth]

If this isn't the only instance of a lack of thanks on your friend's part, I agree that you should discontinue the friendship.

Otherwise, I'd maintain the friendship but not give her children gifts as they're not appreciated, or at least not received with gratitude and graciousness.

[S Byers]

Are gifts ever given to you from them?  If so, make sure a thank you card is sent and follow it up with a phone call to make sure they received the card.  Sometimes we all need a little help being reminded to do the right thing.  If gifts are not given from them, I would stop giving them. 

[jaxsue]

I understand the frustration. When I was single and my nieces/nephews were small, I'd do special things for them like send Halloween, Valentine's, and Easter packages, and Xmas gifts. This was when I wasn't making much money. Not a smart use of my hard-earned money in retrospect.

Getting a 'thank you' was spotty at best. The most strange acknowledgement was when my SIL said in a phone conversation after a gift was sent (this call was not made as a 'thank you') that she really had to make the kids sit down and write a thank you, or least call to say thank you. She didn't say thank you - she'd make the kids say it. Really, she would. Neither happened. And the gifts stopped coming.

[indifferent]

Thank you for your replies.

[MineralDiva]

If it were me, those would have been the last gifts they got.