Author Topic: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."  (Read 15245 times)

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bms2000

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #15 on: December 14, 2007, 10:54:14 AM »
DH and I had  4 years of "When are you going to get married?" Then 4 years of "When are you going to have kids?". Now we have had 7 years of explaining the boys' adoptions. It never ends.  ::)

What I loved was when I was dating my DH. My mom was adamant about me not getting pregnant before marriage (an attitude with which I totally agree). I got so tired of her reminding me this, that to ease her mind I finally told her the truth - that DH had had a vasectomy during his first marriage. The very next sentence out of her mouth: "Then what are you going to do when you want to have kids?"
AIEEEEEE!

When we were in the child acquisition phase, and people asked us "When are you going to have kids?" my standard response became "Well, are you using your spare bedroom right now...?"

Lysistrata

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2007, 11:50:56 AM »
When we were in the child acquisition phase, and people asked us "When are you going to have kids?" my standard response became "Well, are you using your spare bedroom right now...?"

LOL! I love that!

DH and I have only been married about a year and a half, but we've already had several family members asking when we're going to have kids. Mostly it's mom & MIL asking repeatedly because they both want grandkids. I understand that, but sheesh. Give us a little time to be Mr. and Mrs. before we shift into Mom & Dad, please.

Not to mention, it'd be a little difficult right now since he's been stationed in S. Korea since March and won't be home til next March. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget our visit with his parents right before he left...his mom was chatting with us and out of nowhere she asks "So, you've got some of his sperm frozen in case something happens to him while he's gone, right?"  :o Pardon?

To DH's credit, he rolled his eyes and replied "Yeah, Mom, I keep a jar in the freezer" and then changed the subject. :)

Midnight Kitty

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #17 on: December 14, 2007, 02:36:24 PM »
Not to mention, it'd be a little difficult right now since he's been stationed in S. Korea since March and won't be home til next March. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget our visit with his parents right before he left...his mom was chatting with us and out of nowhere she asks "So, you've got some of his sperm frozen in case something happens to him while he's gone, right?"  :o Pardon?

I don't understand why a woman would want to conceive a child with her dead husband's frozen sperm.  IMO - It's selfish and cruel to deliberately conceive a child who can never know their father.  Isn't it hard enough to raise a child/ren alone when the father dies unexpectedly after the child/ren were conceived/born?
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

bms2000

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #18 on: December 15, 2007, 02:45:43 PM »
When we were in the child acquisition phase, and people asked us "When are you going to have kids?" my standard response became "Well, are you using your spare bedroom right now...?"

LOL! I love that!

DH and I have only been married about a year and a half, but we've already had several family members asking when we're going to have kids. Mostly it's mom & MIL asking repeatedly because they both want grandkids. I understand that, but sheesh. Give us a little time to be Mr. and Mrs. before we shift into Mom & Dad, please.

Not to mention, it'd be a little difficult right now since he's been stationed in S. Korea since March and won't be home til next March. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget our visit with his parents right before he left...his mom was chatting with us and out of nowhere she asks "So, you've got some of his sperm frozen in case something happens to him while he's gone, right?"  :o Pardon?

To DH's credit, he rolled his eyes and replied "Yeah, Mom, I keep a jar in the freezer" and then changed the subject. :)

"No, MIL, but I have a container from the UPS guy..." >:D

Jen_kenne

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2007, 11:25:09 PM »
Tell me if this is too snarky:

My DH and I dated for 4 years and have been married for 5.  We love children and have always volunteered with them and are very happy to borrow (some of) them.  So obviously people can't help but interjecting their observations that we are childless (Gee?  Really?  I thought it was kind of quiet.)  The comments I hate the most are the ones that imply that we simply forgot to have children.

It's hit the point where I can't say, "We're planning them later, but not now." or "We haven't decided." Without hearing lectures about biological clocks.

I can't say, "We decided not to have them." Without people asking about the decision since all of our actions until about three years ago indicated that we just couldn't wait.

I can't say, "We're trying." because everyone knows some dumb thing that we should try (and probably have) and don't believe me when I say it won't work for our particular problems. 

I can't even say, "We can't have them." People want to know what we are trying to do to remedy the situation.  I can't explain our current therapy without going into a 30 minute discourse about the latest research in gamete production.  I don't want to talk about our steps towards adoption because that sets them off on a rant based on personal experience and political agendas.

So lately, when people point out that we don't have children I look surprised, I look at my watch, and say "Thanks for reminding me.  I'll see about that."  It confuses them enough that they don't ask nosy questions.

Is that just too snarky and rude?  I know it's rude of them to ask, but two rudes don't make a polite.

You could pin their ears back, with "We don't have any that lived." I think that would be nicely searing.

Pixie

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #20 on: January 31, 2008, 10:54:41 AM »
I once told someone.... "We used to have kids, but the movers lost them."   But we're military so it worked.

My sister once told someone. "They're on back-order."


« Last Edit: January 31, 2008, 10:57:11 AM by Pixie »

bopper

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #21 on: February 04, 2008, 02:18:15 PM »
A lifetime of question:

1) When are you getting married?
2) When are you having a baby?
3) When are you having another baby?
4) I can't believe you are having another baby!

randomtangent

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #22 on: March 06, 2008, 12:20:30 PM »
good thoughts your way snowflake!  i think your response is awesome!  while i understand that people are curious, they really should respect your answer of later, but not now.
the bf and i have been together since high school and on and off through college, so about 8 years, steadily for 4 of them.  we get everyone asking when we are finally going to get married, even our pastor has joined in the asking.  we are just not ready!  so the new question is 'when are you going to have kids?'  oh brother!  so at least for us we can say we plan on getting married first (in the next 3 or 4 years). 
but i know plenty of people who are married with no children who aren't sure they want them.  people just don't understand why.  my aunt and uncle flat out don't want kids, they just won't fit into their busy schedule.  my cousin and his wife can't have their own and are active adults so they really don't have time to go through the adoption option (not to mention just how expensive it is!).  a friend of mine who recently got married is taking heat from her entire in-law family for not being pregnant yet.  she so far has just smiled and said 'we are enjoying married life for now and aren't ready for a new adventure'  but as most of their friends know the real answer is 'i'm not having a baby until i decide i really like them (they like kids, but babies just confuse them both)'.
kids are great, but why can't some people accept that they are not for everyone and some people don't get married just to procreate immediately?

mbt

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2008, 04:44:18 PM »
I’m sorry you’re having to go through stuff like this Snowflake…I did inf. treatment as well during my first marriage and people have no couth whatsoever when it comes to comments about having children. 

Now this may or may not be inappropriate but, in the grand scheme of things, why is it anybody’s business and why should you be considered snarky for an honest comment?  Sometimes I think we worry too much about etiquette (*gasp* I’m not being blasphemous, honestly…) when it comes to these types of personal issues.  It’s one thing to follow proper social etiquette, doing what we all know is appropriate, but I’m beginning to think that it’s entirely something else in these types of situations.  It’s like walking up to an overweight person and saying “What types of diets have your tried?” or somebody with a bad birthmark on their face and saying “I have the name of a really great plastic surgeon…”  Some things are just nobody’s business and I believe we have the right to inform them when they cross the line…

Oxymoroness

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2008, 05:20:15 PM »
I can't even say, "We can't have them." People want to know what we are trying to do to remedy the situation.  I can't explain our current therapy without going into a 30 minute discourse about the latest research in gamete production.  I don't want to talk about our steps towards adoption because that sets them off on a rant based on personal experience and political agendas.

Good Oxy says, "I'm sorry, but this isn't a good time for me to talk about it."

DH prefers, "They're on back-order." (Much like Pixie.)

Evil Oxy would say, "We had them last night with fava beans and a nice cianti."

supernova

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #25 on: April 10, 2008, 12:06:22 AM »
If they get pushy and refuse to drop it...  and only if...

"Oh, but enough about my s#x life; let's talk about yours!"

(EvilSaphie would follow this statement with a creative question that begins "Have you two ever tried..."  but GoodSaphie almost always manages to stifle her in time...)

     - saphie

Asha

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #26 on: April 10, 2008, 12:44:51 PM »
My favorite response is, "We're practicing until we get it perfect."  Of course, close friends and immediate family were permitted follow up questions, but few asked any.  If you say it with a big grin & waggle your eyebrows a la Groucho Marx, they will crack up & move on. >:D
Brilliant!

happy_baker

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Re: "Oh, must have slipped my mind."
« Reply #27 on: April 10, 2008, 12:49:31 PM »
When we were still trying (four years worth; I had LOTS of time to come up with a response!) we did get quite a few rude inquiries. What worked best for me was staring directly into the person's eyes and stating "I prefer to keep that discussion between DH, myself, and our doctor". They (usually ::)) let it go after that.