My neighbor

[Balletmom]

That's just creepy. Beyond bad manners, creepy. I don't know whether you should call him on it, or shrug it off so as not to engage the crazy guy further.

The fact that he's bringing it up and taking such delight in it...be careful whatever you do, and lock your doors.

[MineralDiva]

I don't understand why you don't keep your door locked when you are at home. I couldn't imagine not having the door locked at all times.

I agree. After the first time he walked in I would make sure to have the door locked.

There wouldn't have been a "first time," if the door had been locked in the first place.  And if there had been a "first time," there most definitely wouldn't have ever been a second!

[MineralDiva]

I don't understand why you don't keep your door locked when you are at home. I couldn't imagine not having the door locked at all times.

We dont keep our doors locked when we are home. To much in and out and we can see both front and back door from our living room.

I'm sorry, but to me, that's a basic safety/security breach on your part.  Especially once you know this guy (or anyone else for that matter) could barge in at any time.  You've made it not only convenient for yourselves to go in and out, but unwelcome strangers to do so also!

There is nothing "rude" about locking your doors...even when you're home.  I'm not sure I completely grasp the concept here, of convenience trumping safety/security.

[aloe]

My brother has four kids and they are always going in and out.  The front door is never locked except when they sleep or nobody is home.  I don't understand it.  They knew a family in the same city that was murdered by a stranger who walked right in through an unlocked front door!

[Rach]

My brother has four kids and they are always going in and out.  The front door is never locked except when they sleep or nobody is home.  I don't understand it.

Surely even he would change that in circumstances of 'afternoon delight'?

[Coruscation]

My FIL did this to us on 3-4 occasions the first year we were married. The bursting in not the bringing up the subject. We live in a small town and only lock the door when going out but did use to close it when we were home "alone". FIL walked up, knocked briefly then, seeing our car, walked right in. What would delight a couple married for eight weeks more than a visit from him. Luckily our bedroom in on the opposite of the house from the front door allowing a frantic throwing on of clothes. We locked the door after that but guess who has a spare key for when we go away. When the door was locked he just unlocked it.

He also did it to my mother. She came for a visit and was alone in the house. She works afternoon shift so sleeps in late. She was showering midmorning with the door locked and FIL decided he needed to borrow a tool from DH. He let himself in without bothering to knock as he knew we were at work. My mother heard him as she turned the water off and ended up hanging onto the bathroom door since it has no lock and she was afraid he would go in there.

[Twik]

We locked the door after that but guess who has a spare key for when we go away. When the door was locked he just unlocked it.

Two words - chain lock.

[LazzKat]

Two words - chain lock.

One word - shotgun.  Let him see it and make it known that you don't take breaking and entering lightly.  A man's (and a woman's) home is his/her castle.  Tell him it would be a "tragedy" should something happen, but you're sure the police will understand that you were surprised and in fear for your life.  The mere thought will no doubt make him change his visiting habits.

Still, locking the door all the time is an even better option. 

[Suze]

first off take the key away from him -- He is abusing the privlage of being "gifted" with a key for emergencys.  Or better yet change the lock and "forget" to give him a new key.  He might just have made extras of the old one.

Last thing that I would do is use my friends key "just cause"

second - chain lock - get one -- NOW

If he is so used to getting into your house it might not even deter him.  After all you might be in trouble and he would HAVE to make sure you were safe.  So let's put a sholder to the door and break it down.  (I don't know if I have my tounge in my cheek or not)

But at least you could point to runined door when you call police for breaking and entering.

We have just started the habit of locking the outside door lately because of the neighbors.  I do not trust them at all to stay out of my house or my things.  It's tough to remember to flip the lock at first but you get used to it in time. 

about the kids running in and out.  Maybe a key on a lanyard, or lock the door when they all come in for dinner.  Or only leave one door open (like the back) for them to  troup in and out.

[Venus193]

Locks are sometimes the only guarantee of protecting one's boundaries.  In the case of the creepy neighbor, it's absolute common sense.  It may be inconvenient to have to lock and unlock the door yourself 10 times daily, but that is a small price to pay for piece of mind.

With regard to the father-in-law, this is a major boundary issue.  He has to be made to understand that he can't just walk in whenever he pleases.  Adult children should be respected as adults.  If he is the person who housesits when the poster is on vacation, maybe it's time to get someone else to do it who won't barge in whenever he bloody well pleases.

[kethria]

May I also suggest investing in some of these http://www.amazon.com/First-Alert-Instant-window-Sensor/dp/B0001ZYNFC to put on your door. You can order them online from several places, and  here the local dollar store has them fro 1 dollar each. I have them on all the doors and windows in my place so if I am alone and someone comes in I can hear it. I bought the "First Alert" brand because not only does it have an alarm, it also has a chime function like when you walk into a store and it goes "ding dong" one time.

That way if someone DOES have a key you still get a heads up...

[jfulle5]

I don't understand why you don't keep your door locked when you are at home. I couldn't imagine not having the door locked at all times.

We dont keep our doors locked when we are home. To much in and out and we can see both front and back door from our living room.

I'm sorry, but to me, that's a basic safety/security breach on your part.  Especially once you know this guy (or anyone else for that matter) could barge in at any time.  You've made it not only convenient for yourselves to go in and out, but unwelcome strangers to do so also!

There is nothing "rude" about locking your doors...even when you're home.  I'm not sure I completely grasp the concept here, of convenience trumping safety/security.

1)I live in a safe town in a gated community
2)NRA Stickers on the back of my dh vehicle (if you get my drift)
3)I have dogs the size of horses, with posted signs.
4)you have to go through a fence with these dogs to get to my door
plus i live in the deep south and it's just one of those things for my particular area. If o'm home alone then I will lock them but if everyone is running around, it's just not going to happen.

[Twik]

This person is not who I would chose to have a spare key. He apparently thinks "your house is my house"; who's to say that if you're away he doesn't abuse your privacy in other ways, such as snooping through your financial papers or using your computer to check sites he wouldn't want tracked back to him? He clearly has no concern about your welfare, so I agree with the suggestion to change the locks, and "forget" to update his key. If you need someone to check on the house when you're away, surely there must be someone else in the neighborhood who would be more trustworthy.

[Bijou]

My FIL did this to us on 3-4 occasions the first year we were married. The bursting in not the bringing up the subject. We live in a small town and only lock the door when going out but did use to close it when we were home "alone". FIL walked up, knocked briefly then, seeing our car, walked right in. What would delight a couple married for eight weeks more than a visit from him. Luckily our bedroom in on the opposite of the house from the front door allowing a frantic throwing on of clothes. We locked the door after that but guess who has a spare key for when we go away. When the door was locked he just unlocked it.

He also did it to my mother. She came for a visit and was alone in the house. She works afternoon shift so sleeps in late. She was showering midmorning with the door locked and FIL decided he needed to borrow a tool from DH. He let himself in without bothering to knock as he knew we were at work. My mother heard him as she turned the water off and ended up hanging onto the bathroom door since it has no lock and she was afraid he would go in there.

[Bijou]

My FIL did this to us on 3-4 occasions the first year we were married. The bursting in not the bringing up the subject. We live in a small town and only lock the door when going out but did use to close it when we were home "alone". FIL walked up, knocked briefly then, seeing our car, walked right in. What would delight a couple married for eight weeks more than a visit from him. Luckily our bedroom in on the opposite of the house from the front door allowing a frantic throwing on of clothes. We locked the door after that but guess who has a spare key for when we go away. When the door was locked he just unlocked it.

He also did it to my mother. She came for a visit and was alone in the house. She works afternoon shift so sleeps in late. She was showering midmorning with the door locked and FIL decided he needed to borrow a tool from DH. He let himself in without bothering to knock as he knew we were at work. My mother heard him as she turned the water off and ended up hanging onto the bathroom door since it has no lock and she was afraid he would go in there.

A security chain on the door keeps even people with keys from bursting in at inopportune times. 
I would lend him the key if I were going to be away and get it back when I returned.