Camping out in a crowded restaurant with people waiting for the table

[Gigi]

This table holding strikes me like the mechanism we see in a crowded parking lot where people seem to slow waaaay down, take their time putting parcels in the trunk and drag out the whole seatbelt, ignition and backing out process when they see someone obviously waiting for the parking space.  What is is about some human beings that they get so territorial when they see someone encroaching on "their "space?

Clearly the considerate thing for the table sitters to do would be to vacate the table and continue their party in a nearby bar or ice cream parlor.  Unfortunately we deal with a lot of "me first" attitude these days.

[Rach]

When waitressing I used to be able to to tell parties who did not have a reservation that they could be served if they were happy to vacate by X time as there was a reservation. The majority of people accepted this, much better than being told suddenly to leave if you are slowly enjoying a meal out.

[MsEva]

DH and I had taken my parents out to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary at a very nice restaurant. My parents do not go out to eat very often and we were taking our time and enjoying the evening. I wasn't too worried since there were some empty tables and no one seemed to have to wait. We had been there about 1.5 hours when the owner came to our table and explained that they had a party with reservations and the only place to set tables to make one big table was in the area that we were seated in.

He was very apologetic and asked if we would mind moving to another table. We had just finished our desserts and coffee and told him that we were actually ready to leave. He apologized again and sent the waiter to get our bill. He had comped our desserts and thanked us again as we left. I really do like that restaurant. 

[melaniered]

If I were seated without a reservation, and told at that time that the table was reserved for another party beginning in, say, an hour or an hour and a half, AND if the service/kitchen went off without a hitch (no major delays getting the waiter to take my order, food cooked properly and in a timely manner), I would have no problem with keeping an eye on the time to make certain I did not inconvenience people with a prior claim.

OTOH...  I know how to rent a table.  I can sit down at a four top and look at a menu and know how long it should take for the average diners to roll the table to the next group, and know what their average bill will be - and tip accordingly if I overstay the average.  If I'm there twice as long as the average diner, probably for half that time I'm only wanting bread and tea or drinks, while I chat.  That's a good bit less work for the server, but I'm going to tip for the time spent AND on my ticket amount.  If my four top ate an average amount, and our bill came to (let's low-ball it) the average $100, and I'm having enough fun that I want to stay - sure, I'll tip the 20% on the bill, and another 20% for the double stay, and probably another 10% for worrying the server all that time, if the service was good and they were cheerful about it. 

If they're pressuring me to leave and there's no one waiting?  Oh, that could get nasty.

***Note:  Not if there's a line.  If there are people waiting, I'll eat and clear out - that's not a fun chat environment, anyway.  UNLESS I had had a reservation and warned the restaurant ahead that we would be a long party - and that's restaurant planning issues again.

LanieRed

[kingsrings]

When waitressing I used to be able to to tell parties who did not have a reservation that they could be served if they were happy to vacate by X time as there was a reservation. The majority of people accepted this, much better than being told suddenly to leave if you are slowly enjoying a meal out.

To me, that sounds like it would of been the ideal solution to our problem. Then they wouldn't of had to turn away this group and their bills, but yet they still would of been informed of the timeline. This place usually doesn't do reservations, but was willing to do so for our large group because obviously, that's mucho bucks for them. I guess they just assumed that because the bill had been paid and all the dishes cleared away, that the group would soon be on their way, so they hustled us inside, only to be faced with the uncomfortable fact that said group wasn't leaving. My friends and I joked that we should all give them the 'evil eye' at the same time, and then maybe they would get the hint to leave. I think that restaurants are so into customer service these days that they don't want to tell anyone 'no', even at the risk of inconveniencing other diners.

[FoxPaws]

I think that restaurants are so into customer service these days that they don't want to tell anyone 'no', even at the risk of inconveniencing other diners.

This hits the nail on the head. The notion of "Customer Service" has gone so far overboard that it often defies common sense, and in some cases common courtesy.

[lecach]

My Mom and I went to a nice restaurant one time without reservations. We were told we could be seated but that the table was reserved for a group at 8 p.m. and we'd need to be done by then. We had no problem with that. When it came time for dessert it was just turning 8 (service had been a little slow) and the reserved group arrived. So we asked to be served dessert at the bar and moved. We thought that was fine and weren't offended at all. And the restaurant was very appreciative of our cooperation.

Personally I can't stand to hang out at a table after I am done. I am VERY aware of others waiting and would thing it was a little rude to stay at a table if others are waiting.

[ShadesOfGrey]

For me, it depends on whether or not you have paid the bill.  One the bill is paid, you are on borrowed time. If you havent paid, it's up to your discretion.  It's nice to be able to keep the tables turning, especially at a peak time, but if a customer is still patronizing your establishment, I dont think it worth the sacrifice in reputation...

jmo though.

[Emmy]

I can see both sides of the issue.  If I'm a patron, especially in a nicer restaurant, I like to enjoy dinner and talking without feeling like I am being rushed out.  However, if we came to a crowded restaurant last minute and they were kind enough to sqeeze us in, I would be compelled to take my conversation elsewhere.  As somebody pointed out, some people are as s-l-o-w as possible if they know somebody else is waiting for something such as a parking space or a table and this is rude.  This behavior remindes me when I was a kid and my brother would take the last of a food I liked (and he didn't like) just so I wouldn't be able to have it.

One time as a patron, my friend who is from far away and I were chatting in a diner after dinner.  The waitress told us to hurry up.  I was shocked by her rudeness, the diner was far from busy.  It turns out there was a shift change and she was leaving.  We would have tipped her and the new waitress if she would have explained the situation, but she didn't so I hope the new waitress enjoyed the tip.

[Telmereth]

I have to echo what Rach said.
When I was a waitress, people often called around 10.30-11.00am to find out if they could be 'squeezed in'
for lunch. I would tell them of the existing reservations and if they felt there was enough time to enjoy their meal they would book in, and if they didn't, not my problem!
When I am a customer in a busy restaurant I always try and be prompt in leaving, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do, just that it is what feels comfortable to me.
I think the responsibility in the case brought up by the OP lies with the restaurant staff for making the bookings too close together, because even though most people would probably be nice and leave for the incoming party, the restaurant shouldn't rely on their patron's good nature! However had I been the earlier party and seen the new arrivals standing there looking awkward, I would have felt bad for them and left. So I guess I'm a bit conflicted on this one!

[shadowfox79]

We got this at a restaurant last year - we had booked a table for eight, but half the table (it was two fours pushed together) was still taken up by a group of people stirring cappuccinos without drinking them.

The wait staff decided to seat four of us - the women - and let us order for all eight, assuming that the other four would have got in by then. However, when the waitress came over to take the order, she said loudly "Oh wait, hold on, you've got four other people in the bar, haven't you?"

And my FMIL replied, equally loudly and with a flip of the hand towards the four next to us, "Yeah, we're just waiting for THESE to finish!"

Well, it did move them - and they were remarkably apologetic about holding up the table. But cringe...

[CocoCamm]

I dont know about anyone else but personally when I go out to eat I dont go simply to eat. I go to catch up with friends, enjoy the atmosphere, get out of the house, ect. I dont go to a resturant and pay the over inflated prices so that I can have a feed bag thrown on until the next patron that wants my seat comes in. I like to take my time and I hate being rushed. I wont sit for hours but dont expect me to run from my seat the second the bill hits the table.

The way I see it I'm extremely patient. I dont grumble if the waitress takes awhile to greet me or bring me my drink. I dont care if the kitchen is backed up~I have no problem waiting. I dont think its asking a lot that the waitress has a little bit of patience with me.

[DottyG]

We got this at a restaurant last year - we had booked a table for eight, but half the table (it was two fours pushed together) was still taken up by a group of people stirring cappuccinos without drinking them.

The wait staff decided to seat four of us - the women - and let us order for all eight, assuming that the other four would have got in by then. However, when the waitress came over to take the order, she said loudly "Oh wait, hold on, you've got four other people in the bar, haven't you?"

And my FMIL replied, equally loudly and with a flip of the hand towards the four next to us, "Yeah, we're just waiting for THESE to finish!"

Well, it did move them - and they were remarkably apologetic about holding up the table. But cringe...

Wow.  That was extreme rudeness on BOTH the waitress and your FMIL's part.  Were either of them remorseful?

[Lisbeth]

I think that restaurants are so into customer service these days that they don't want to tell anyone 'no', even at the risk of inconveniencing other diners.

This hits the nail on the head. The notion of "Customer Service" has gone so far overboard that it often defies common sense, and in some cases common courtesy.

Truly.  "Customer service" now means "No setting boundaries, and let customers abuse you or demand the impossible, because we can't do without their business no matter how masochistic we are in accepting it."

[shadowfox79]

We got this at a restaurant last year - we had booked a table for eight, but half the table (it was two fours pushed together) was still taken up by a group of people stirring cappuccinos without drinking them.

The wait staff decided to seat four of us - the women - and let us order for all eight, assuming that the other four would have got in by then. However, when the waitress came over to take the order, she said loudly "Oh wait, hold on, you've got four other people in the bar, haven't you?"

And my FMIL replied, equally loudly and with a flip of the hand towards the four next to us, "Yeah, we're just waiting for THESE to finish!"

Well, it did move them - and they were remarkably apologetic about holding up the table. But cringe...

Wow.  That was extreme rudeness on BOTH the waitress and your FMIL's part.  Were either of them remorseful?

I've no idea if the waitress was remorseful, but I know my FMIL wasn't. It was quite out of character for her, actually - she's proud of speaking her mind, sure, but isn't usually rude. I was very surprised when the other people were so nice about moving.