Camping out in a crowded restaurant with people waiting for the table

[ettacat]

This table holding strikes me like the mechanism we see in a crowded parking lot where people seem to slow waaaay down, take their time putting parcels in the trunk and drag out the whole seatbelt, ignition and backing out process when they see someone obviously waiting for the parking space.  What is is about some human beings that they get so territorial when they see someone encroaching on "their "space?

Clearly the considerate thing for the table sitters to do would be to vacate the table and continue their party in a nearby bar or ice cream parlor.  Unfortunately we deal with a lot of "me first" attitude these days.

I don't purposely take my time when unloading groceries and leaving. I like to get my stuff, pack it up and go home. But, I don't appreciate being basically stalked for a parking spot, either. I have had people actually honk at me for not being fast enough for them. When I have my kids with me, it can take a while longer.

I have also had cars follow me while I am just walking to the car. Kind of like Jaws stalking his prey.

[RJeeves]

We got this at a restaurant last year - we had booked a table for eight, but half the table (it was two fours pushed together) was still taken up by a group of people stirring cappuccinos without drinking them.

The wait staff decided to seat four of us - the women - and let us order for all eight, assuming that the other four would have got in by then. However, when the waitress came over to take the order, she said loudly "Oh wait, hold on, you've got four other people in the bar, haven't you?"

And my FMIL replied, equally loudly and with a flip of the hand towards the four next to us, "Yeah, we're just waiting for THESE to finish!"

Well, it did move them - and they were remarkably apologetic about holding up the table. But cringe...

Wow.  That was extreme rudeness on BOTH the waitress and your FMIL's part.  Were either of them remorseful?

I've no idea if the waitress was remorseful, but I know my FMIL wasn't. It was quite out of character for her, actually - she's proud of speaking her mind, sure, but isn't usually rude. I was very surprised when the other people were so nice about moving.

I would have seriously shorted the waitress on the tip and had a word with the manager. You're patrons. You're not there to solve difficulties such as this. The staff should have handled this before letting you to the table, and if they could not, should have given you another table. They set two parties of customers against each other, and directed your FMIL's anger at the lingering diners, when it rightly should have been directed at whoever in that restaurant is incompetent at yield management.

[shadowfox79]

I would have seriously shorted the waitress on the tip and had a word with the manager. You're patrons. You're not there to solve difficulties such as this. The staff should have handled this before letting you to the table, and if they could not, should have given you another table. They set two parties of customers against each other, and directed your FMIL's anger at the lingering diners, when it rightly should have been directed at whoever in that restaurant is incompetent at yield management.

Yes, I wasn't too impressed at how they handled it, although since we had been waiting some time before they let us sit down I was too hungry to care very much at the time. Looking back, I think you're right.

[MineralDiva]

We got this at a restaurant last year - we had booked a table for eight, but half the table (it was two fours pushed together) was still taken up by a group of people stirring cappuccinos without drinking them.

The wait staff decided to seat four of us - the women - and let us order for all eight, assuming that the other four would have got in by then. However, when the waitress came over to take the order, she said loudly "Oh wait, hold on, you've got four other people in the bar, haven't you?"

And my FMIL replied, equally loudly and with a flip of the hand towards the four next to us, "Yeah, we're just waiting for THESE to finish!"

Well, it did move them - and they were remarkably apologetic about holding up the table. But cringe...

Wow.  That was extreme rudeness on BOTH the waitress and your FMIL's part.  Were either of them remorseful?

I've no idea if the waitress was remorseful, but I know my FMIL wasn't. It was quite out of character for her, actually - she's proud of speaking her mind, sure, but isn't usually rude. I was very surprised when the other people were so nice about moving.

IMO the only rude people in this situation, were the ones who wouldn't leave the table.  If they intended to linger over coffee they weren't drinking, they could have done that at the bar...instead of holding up the people who were waiting to be seated with their party.

[FoxPaws]

I don't purposely take my time when unloading groceries and leaving. I like to get my stuff, pack it up and go home. But, I don't appreciate being basically stalked for a parking spot, either. I have had people actually honk at me for not being fast enough for them. When I have my kids with me, it can take a while longer.

I have also had cars follow me while I am just walking to the car. Kind of like Jaws stalking his prey.

Serious pet peeve of mine as well. Parking spaces belong to whoever's parked in them until they can safely exit. I see no reason to compromise the safety of my passengers or myself (by not buckling up, or not stowing packages properly) because the impatient jerk behind me can't circle the lot one more time or walk a few extra feet.

Being honked at is likely to upset me so much that I have to go back inside and calm down before it's okay for me to drive.

[kingsrings]

Ooh, I hate being honked at by people waiting for me to leave!! That is a serious pet peeve of mine. Funny story though from a long time ago. I was leaving a parking spot, and the impatient woman behind me waiting for me to leave started honking at me. I lost it and leaned out my window and screamed, "You be patient, you @#^$*!!" The car passing beside me heard this and one of the guys inside of that car started praising and cheering me, "Yes!!! You called her a @#^$*!!!" and other comments like that. He was going in the same direction as I was and all the way down the street he kept that up. If someone honks at me like that, I always go really slow and take my own sweet time then.

[DottyG]

We got this at a restaurant last year - we had booked a table for eight, but half the table (it was two fours pushed together) was still taken up by a group of people stirring cappuccinos without drinking them.

The wait staff decided to seat four of us - the women - and let us order for all eight, assuming that the other four would have got in by then. However, when the waitress came over to take the order, she said loudly "Oh wait, hold on, you've got four other people in the bar, haven't you?"

And my FMIL replied, equally loudly and with a flip of the hand towards the four next to us, "Yeah, we're just waiting for THESE to finish!"

Well, it did move them - and they were remarkably apologetic about holding up the table. But cringe...

Wow.  That was extreme rudeness on BOTH the waitress and your FMIL's part.  Were either of them remorseful?

I've no idea if the waitress was remorseful, but I know my FMIL wasn't. It was quite out of character for her, actually - she's proud of speaking her mind, sure, but isn't usually rude. I was very surprised when the other people were so nice about moving.

IMO the only rude people in this situation, were the ones who wouldn't leave the table.  If they intended to linger over coffee they weren't drinking, they could have done that at the bar...instead of holding up the people who were waiting to be seated with their party.

Will agree that there's a third "rude" party in this situation.  However, that didn't give the waitress or the FMIL the right to be rude as well.  What both of them did wasn't polite or nice.  Like another poster said, the waitress knowingly pitted one party against another.  And, this - "Yeah, we're just waiting for THESE to finish!"?  Yikes.  That's just not called for.

[kingsrings]

Etiquette-eise, what would of been the polite response? On one hand you don't want to be rude to the party, but on the other hand, they need some kind of swift kick in the tushy to realize what they're doing.

[DottyG]

Not sure if you're responding to me, Kings.  But, I'll answer.

The polite thing to do would be for the waitress to quietly say to the party in question, "I'm sorry, but it appears that we have a back up and need this table for a large party that has a reservation for it.  Would you mind if we moved you to a smaller table/to the bar/whatever, so you can continue to enjoy your conversation?"

It's completely possible for the restaurant to handle this in a polite way.  What the waitress - and the FMIL did - was highly inappropriate in the situation.

[twinkletoes]

I really like the idea of a server telling a party from the start that "there is a party coming in at 7, and they'll need this table."  That will definitely go over much better instead of a server coming up to a table and basically booting them out. 

Another thing - I've sat at a table when a restaurant gets busy, and I'm only too happy to leave!  It gets so loud and uncomfortable (especially when people start lining up around the table and eye you as you eat), it's just not fun anymore.

[RJeeves]

Not sure if you're responding to me, Kings.  But, I'll answer.

The polite thing to do would be for the waitress to quietly say to the party in question, "I'm sorry, but it appears that we have a back up and need this table for a large party that has a reservation for it.  Would you mind if we moved you to a smaller table/to the bar/whatever, so you can continue to enjoy your conversation?"

It's completely possible for the restaurant to handle this in a polite way.  What the waitress - and the FMIL did - was highly inappropriate in the situation.

Thank you, Dottie, I really agree with your answer.

Additionally, if I was one of the waiting party, instead of accepting the ridiculous "half-seating/half-waiting" arrangement, I'd have said "No, thank you. We will wait at the bar while you resolve this situation." Said with a smile, of course.

[DottyG]

Additionally, if I was one of the waiting party, instead of accepting the ridiculous "half-seating/half-waiting" arrangement, I'd have said "No, thank you. We will wait at the bar while you resolve this situation." Said with a smile, of course.

Exactly.  Because it IS the restaurant's situation to resolve.  Not the waiting party's at all.  And, it's the restaurant's responsibility to resolve it in a polite way.

[NYGirl100]

Additionally, if I was one of the waiting party, instead of accepting the ridiculous "half-seating/half-waiting" arrangement, I'd have said "No, thank you. We will wait at the bar while you resolve this situation." Said with a smile, of course.

We actually did this once - we had 6 people, and a table of 4 was ready, but the 2 people in the next table was still talking despite having paid their bill.  We waited at the bar.  The hostess disappeared and then came back later to say that our table was ready.  We thought it meant that the other table had left.  We were wrong - the restaurant's solution turned out to be to add more chairs to the one table that's already free - effectively trying to squeeze 6 people into a 4-person table.  And if you've eaten at any restaurant in New York City you know that a 4-person table is tight even for 4 people.  We declined because there really was not enough room, and went to find somewhere else to eat because we were really hungry and it was already 30 minutes past our reservation time. 

[MineralDiva]

Not sure if you're responding to me, Kings.  But, I'll answer.

The polite thing to do would be for the waitress to quietly say to the party in question, "I'm sorry, but it appears that we have a back up and need this table for a large party that has a reservation for it.  Would you mind if we moved you to a smaller table/to the bar/whatever, so you can continue to enjoy your conversation?"

It's completely possible for the restaurant to handle this in a polite way.  What the waitress - and the FMIL did - was highly inappropriate in the situation.

Thank you, Dottie, I really agree with your answer.

Additionally, if I was one of the waiting party, instead of accepting the ridiculous "half-seating/half-waiting" arrangement, I'd have said "No, thank you. We will wait at the bar while you resolve this situation." Said with a smile, of course.

The waitress may have already attempted to politely inform the lingerers that another party was waiting/coming in.  If that was so, then other than bodily throwing them out, there wasn't much she or management could have done differently.

Though, had I been one of the people waiting, I also agree that it wouldn't have been unreasonable to walk out either.  Then again, with the wait times at other nearby restaurants being long also, especially without a reservation...and having to start over from scratch elsewhere, delaying the meal even longer...I don't think the FIML's comment was out of line either. 

The only difference between she and I, in that situation, is that I may have expressed myself as my feet were heading for the door...after I'd rousted the other four in my group, who'd already been seated!

It would have to be one heck of a cup of coffee the lingerers were having, to make up for the revenue lost from serving 8 dinners!

[DottyG]

I don't think the FIML's comment was out of line either.

The reason that the FMIL's comment was out of line was that it was passive aggressive.  It was just a way to stir up trouble.

It would have even been better for her to have said something directly to the party - may have been rude in another way, depending on how she said it.  But, at least it would have been more mature than what she actually did say.  What she actually said was snotty and juvenile.

And, it wasn't up to her to say something.  It was up to the restaurant to take care of this.  If the restaurant couldn't do that for some reason, she could have left.  But, the comment she made was not appropriate.