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Author Topic: Kids' Names- I used it!  (Read 12080 times)

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Leather Lady

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Kids' Names- I used it!
« on: November 10, 2007, 12:11:16 PM »
I married a fine man two years after my husband and father of my kids unexpectedly died.  I took his name, and left my kids' name alone.  It is a simple proud name, and it's theirs.  The teachers at the school think it would be much easier if all our kids had the same name, and have encouraged me to change my kids' last name to my husband's.  When the new teacher I met at Parent-Teacher Conferences suggested it again, I smiled and said, "What an interesting assumption."  Then I successfully changed the subject.  I shouldn't have to explain to a stranger or anyone else why my kids have a different name than I do, or have to justify keeping it. It felt good to have the phrase right there on the tip of my tongue.  Thanks, ehell!
« Last Edit: November 10, 2007, 12:43:49 PM by Leather Lady »
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FoxPaws

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2007, 12:23:00 PM »
Where have these people been?   ???

It's the 21st century. I can think of half a dozen reasons everyone in a family doesn't have the same last name and none of them are new concepts. How presumptuous to suggest your children reject their father's name for the school's convenience.

Next time you could also try: "Wow! That's quite a suggestion."  :)
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IndianInlaw

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2007, 11:59:05 PM »
"They'd lose their inheritance" ;)

MyFamily

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2007, 12:42:44 PM »
I work in a small school, and we have plenty of students who do not have the same name as their parents - divorce, death or who knows why, it is really none of my business.  Our teachers take a special role in the lives of their students (they are invited to weddings and other celebrations constantly of their former students).  Not once would they even suggest that a student change their last name because of a situation like yours.  Just the opposite - by keeping the last name they are honoring and remembering someone who was special to them.  I don't even understand why this is happening to you with multiple teachers.
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mdatca

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2007, 07:18:35 PM »
I had a school secretary tell me I should rethink my life choices as my kids had different last names.  Needless to say I went to the principal with that and she wasn't there anymore.
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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2007, 03:50:40 PM »
It amazes me that anyone would suggest that the children change their last names.  My father died when I was very young.  Changing my last name would have been like saying he wasn't important to my life and would have broken my grandparents' hearts.

Mr. Fed

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2007, 06:44:50 PM »
"For simplicity perhaps I'll just change them all to your name.  Tell me, is there a space in the middle of 'Meddling $#%*wad,' or do you hyphenate?"

Brentwood

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2007, 11:26:40 PM »
I had a different last name from my oldest daughter from the time she was 10 years old, and not one person ever suggested I was wrong to do that. If they THOUGHT it, at least they didn't verbalize it.

The only person who ever complained about my daughter's name was her father.

HeebyJeebyLeebee

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2007, 12:08:28 PM »
I never really gave much thought to this topic until now.  My sister and I had different last names growing up.  It just was important to her to change her last name to our mother's last name.  My dad is her step father, but as far as she's concerned, my dad is her dad.  It's all moot now - we still have different last names due to marriage.

My DF's niece and nephew have different last names (one Polish, and one Japanese), and their mom has a hyphenated name to help alleviate some confusion.  However, the two kids look VERY different from each other, and even though they've had most of the same teachers in school, DF's sister reports that the teachers don't realize that the kids are siblings until Parent-Teacher conferences.  She thinks it's funny.  Her husband hasn't formally adopted her daughter, but he's the only dad she's known (similar to my dad and sister). 

Ah, my crazy Irish/Welsh/German/Polish/Mexican/Southern family will soon be blended with an equally crazy Japanese/Irish/Italian/Polish/French Canadian/??????/Midwestern family.  Let's hope the culture clash is minimal.  So far, so good.  ;)

Families comes in many combinations of shapes, sizes, colors, ethnicities, and last names - but they're all still families.  :)
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I'mnotinsane

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2007, 05:23:52 PM »
"For simplicity perhaps I'll just change them all to your name.  Tell me, is there a space in the middle of 'Meddling $#%*wad,' or do you hyphenate?"

Bwahahahahahaha!!!   >:D

Virg

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2007, 08:37:20 AM »
Leather Lady wrote:

"The teachers at the school think it would be much easier if all our kids had the same name, and have encouraged me to change my kids' last name to my husband's."

Rather than using The Line here, I'd be tempted to ask, "easier for who?"  Then I'd ask them why they thought that changing a child's name for their convenience is reasonable.

Virg

Scritzy

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2007, 11:07:34 PM »
I had a school secretary tell me I should rethink my life choices as my kids had different last names.  Needless to say I went to the principal with that and she wasn't there anymore.

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kherbert05

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2008, 03:13:41 PM »
The only time I can see a school bringing up an issue about a name is if the legal name is different than the name the child believes to be his/her name. I'm not talking about nicknames. I mean when the child who believes her name is Jane Smith has a legal name of Baby Girl Jones.

We have to use the legal name on legal documents (report cards, health records, testing forms). We have had more than one 3rd grader have a meltdown because their name was "wrong" on the TAKS form. (It was their legal name not their "Real name")

Now our Social worker starts when the kids are in kinder/1st helping the parents understand they either have to make it clear to the children what their legal names are or get them legally changed.

Currently we have 2 Baby Girl Last Names and 1 Baby Boy Last Name enrolled at school. They really need to get their first names made their legal names.
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Lisbeth

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2008, 03:18:45 PM »
I think that while yes, legal names have to be used on school documents, teachers and school staff (and for that matter everyone else) has no business telling a parent to change her children's names for their convenience.

My response would have been "I'm sorry, but those are their legal names and this subject is closed."  And if I found that any school personnel were giving my children a hard time on account of their names, I'd file complaints and act on them.
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kareng57

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Re: Kids' Names- I used it!
« Reply #14 on: March 09, 2008, 04:28:37 PM »
I think that while yes, legal names have to be used on school documents, teachers and school staff (and for that matter everyone else) has no business telling a parent to change her children's names for their convenience.

My response would have been "I'm sorry, but those are their legal names and this subject is closed."  And if I found that any school personnel were giving my children a hard time on account of their names, I'd file complaints and act on them.


But I see it as part of the school's job to make the parents aware of how many problems this is causing when an unhappy child is upset that documents have the "wrong" name on them.  And can you imagine the teasing that would erupt if schoolmates saw that Michael Jones' report card was labelled "Baby Boy Jones"?  I'd hardly call that an issue of "convenience" for the school.