I have an issue that I would appreciate some different perspectives on.
I should make it clear upfront that lying is about the worst thing I can think of for one friend to do to another.
I have this "friend" who is turning out to be a bit of a liar and I am looking for some suggestions on how to deal. This friend, I will call him Jason *name changed to protect the guilty* is relatively new to my life. I met him in July when he moved into the suite next to mine in a triplex unit way out in the bush. (This is relevant because I don't feel that cutting him out of my life entirely is really an option as we do need to be able to rely on one another in case of emergency.)
A while ago we were having some troubles with our septic system and the landlord needed to come out to see what the damage was. The only access into our crawlspace (where sewage was getting pumped into) is through Jason's bedroom floor, so Jason had to be there for this visit with the landlord. He told me and the landlord - we will call him Wolfgang - that he would be here at 5:30.
Long story short, Jason didn't show up until 6:45. Wolfgang and I had to go into Jason's house, move all of his bedroom furniture, and get into the crawlspace. He had left me a message at 5:40 saying he was still at work and would be "5 minutes late" (hello he was already 15 minutes late) but that he was on his way. The number that showed up on my call display was not his work number. I found out later he had left work in plenty of time, but had gone to the grocery store and then over to our mutual friend's house.
I confronted him and told him that, while I understand that work sometimes gets in the way and makes it impossible to fulfill other obligations, I did not appreciate being lied to. His version of an apology was to make a bunch of excuses (and I quote "I don't have a cushy govy job like you and I can't just up and leave whenever I want to") and never even address the issue of the lie.
So for the last couple of weeks things have been strained between us. We had developed quite a friendship before this, we would hang out and play our guitars until the wee hours of the morning. Anyway, I found out today that he skipped out of swimming (we coach swimming together) because of a concert he wanted to go to. No problem, I understand that completely. But, he told the head coach that he HAD to go because he has friends in town from his hometown. NOT TRUE! He is going with a couple of friends from his work. I know this because he mentioned it to me a few days ago.
Ok... so if you have stuck with me so far, thank you!
My questions are:
What is it with people who feel the need to lie about silly things? Especially to their friends? Doesn't he GET that I am not stupid, I have call display, and our head coach is my best friend, and in a small town such as this you can't get away with lying for long?
What would you do? Would you call him on it? Tell him you just don't want to be friends with someone who seems to feel the need to lie?
Would you try to maintain a friendship just because of living circumstances, or would you try to keep a 'friendly but not friends' atmosphere?
Edited to add: Do you think I am overreacting or oversensitive?
I appreciate any and all input. Sorry this was so long...