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• April 21, 2015, 04:37:23 AM

### Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 338080 times)

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1665 on: March 04, 2015, 02:23:19 PM »
I grew up in a suburb of NYC, the only Eastern European American kid in a mostly Irish American neighborhood.  Got bullied -- a *lot* -- heard ethnic slurs -- a *lot* -- but never once heard of or experienced pinching.

All the stories about pinching did remind me, though, of the Valentine's Day carnation sale my high school used to have.  Different colors meant different things:  red / love, pink / crush, white / friendship, and green / "you bug me."  A friend's mother thought she was being cool and hilarious by ordering me a green one.  I was already uncomfortable enough, but this made me feel terrible, as did the whole idea that you were supposed to be a good sport about it.  To this day I loathe carnations.  Hated Valentine's Day for years, too, but DH (who went to h.s. with me, knows all the players, and completely gets it) has a nice touch with red roses, so what could I do?  :-)

That's so weird, why would the school even let them sell a green one, if that was the known message? I remember we had candygrams and flower sales in both junior high and high school, but it was understood that you had to use them nicely. If someone got a candygram with a rude message written on it, for example, they could turn it in to the principal and the sender would get in big trouble. I think one year the sales were actually cancelled because someone had behaved badly with it.

I never really cared for them anyway, though. It was mostly boyfriends/girlfriends sending them to each other, and as such people had many ways to show their affection for each other, this always came off as more about showing off that they had an SO--the candygrams/flowers were generally delivered in public (lunch or study hall) and you ended up carrying them around for the rest of the day, so everyone could see and ask you about it. Plus there was the usual pressure for one partner to get one for the other, getting razzed if you didn't, etc.. I think they were fundraisers for student groups, but I just never saw the point of putting all those social pressures on 13-year-olds--we had enough already!

My friend's son (practically my second son) goes to our grocery store every year, the day before VD and buys dozens of pink carnations to give to all the girls. His private school sells flowers, but he always felt bad for the girls who didn't get one. Any extras go to the front office staff.

#### jedikaiti

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1666 on: March 04, 2015, 02:26:10 PM »
When I was a kid, we pretty much did a valentine for everyone, but you might set aside the nicest ones (read: your favorites) for the people you liked better.

In high school, they didn't usually sell flowers (girls only school), but if V-day was on a weekday, between almost every class, someone would get paged to the front office to pick up a delivery of flowers. I never got any.
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#### siamesecat2965

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1667 on: March 04, 2015, 03:01:28 PM »
I grew up in a suburb of NYC, the only Eastern European American kid in a mostly Irish American neighborhood.  Got bullied -- a *lot* -- heard ethnic slurs -- a *lot* -- but never once heard of or experienced pinching.

All the stories about pinching did remind me, though, of the Valentine's Day carnation sale my high school used to have.  Different colors meant different things:  red / love, pink / crush, white / friendship, and green / "you bug me."  A friend's mother thought she was being cool and hilarious by ordering me a green one.  I was already uncomfortable enough, but this made me feel terrible, as did the whole idea that you were supposed to be a good sport about it.  To this day I loathe carnations.  Hated Valentine's Day for years, too, but DH (who went to h.s. with me, knows all the players, and completely gets it) has a nice touch with red roses, so what could I do?  :-)

That's so weird, why would the school even let them sell a green one, if that was the known message? I remember we had candygrams and flower sales in both junior high and high school, but it was understood that you had to use them nicely. If someone got a candygram with a rude message written on it, for example, they could turn it in to the principal and the sender would get in big trouble. I think one year the sales were actually cancelled because someone had behaved badly with it.

I never really cared for them anyway, though. It was mostly boyfriends/girlfriends sending them to each other, and as such people had many ways to show their affection for each other, this always came off as more about showing off that they had an SO--the candygrams/flowers were generally delivered in public (lunch or study hall) and you ended up carrying them around for the rest of the day, so everyone could see and ask you about it. Plus there was the usual pressure for one partner to get one for the other, getting razzed if you didn't, etc.. I think they were fundraisers for student groups, but I just never saw the point of putting all those social pressures on 13-year-olds--we had enough already!

My friend's son (practically my second son) goes to our grocery store every year, the day before VD and buys dozens of pink carnations to give to all the girls. His private school sells flowers, but he always felt bad for the girls who didn't get one. Any extras go to the front office staff.

What a sweet thing to do! there was a story this year, about a boy who worked all summer, and used the  to buy a card and candy, or maybe a flower, for every girl in his HS. I thought that was a lovely thing to do, so no one felt left out.

#### kherbert05

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1668 on: March 04, 2015, 04:22:02 PM »
The carnation thing sounds almost as bad as the teacher making you stand up in class and tell how many Valentines you got.  The boy and girl with the most were the "Valentine King and Queen" at the class party.  Needless to say, that girl was not me.      And to make it even worse, my mother made me give a valentine to everyone in the class.  And it only occurs to me now, 50 years later, that I could have just stuffed the ones for the kids I hated into a snowbank somewhere!
The PTO would do this type of candygram thing to raise money at the elementary school where I taught. The real idea was the parents would buy them for their kids. I knew some of my parents didn't have the $1 -$5 to spare. Every kid got one in my class - I made sure of it.

We had to have one valentine for every person in our class. The teacher/parents would put them in the bags while we were at lunch. My 4th grade year - I noticed that some of mine had been opened - and I suspect checked for mean handwritten messages. My 3rd grade teacher (one of 2 bad/mean teachers I ever had) had encouraged the bullies because I was difficult (her words). Mrs. Petrie, in 4th grade, did everything she could to reverse the tide. I can totally see her checking ones from the bullies before putting them in my bag.

Every year teaching magazines used to have a graphing activity suggestion where you graph how many valentines everyone gets - and March would have are you #*@#*\$ idiot letters in response. I've noticed now with teacher blogs - the suggestion is to graph the different characters/types of characters instead.
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#### Lynn2000

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1669 on: March 04, 2015, 04:24:39 PM »
I do think it's a nice idea, and far better than a lot of other ways of behaving. But really, doesn't giving one to everyone, mean that just having one doesn't make you special? Then the people who have two are special. I'm just not sure how I'd feel about getting a "pity flower."

It might be one of those situations where there's no good solution. If you allow people to get different amounts, it becomes a very visible popularity contest. But if everyone gets one, then no one is special, and the whole thing is kind of meaningless and generic. And if you don't allow any, people get upset that they can't celebrate.

In an office of adults it's usually the first response, and you're supposed to be mature enough to handle the visual as long as people aren't rudely rubbing it in. But with kids I think that can be a lot to ask.
~Lynn2000

#### johelenc1

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1670 on: April 19, 2015, 04:54:13 PM »
Pinching on St. Patrick's Day - oh my gosh.  I didn't know people DIDN'T do this!  I grew up in NC and VA and you better wear green or you were going to have a very long, sore, day.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2015, 05:01:06 PM by johelenc1 »

#### johelenc1

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #1671 on: April 19, 2015, 04:58:06 PM »

<snip>

The Not-Really-A-Holiday hill -  March Madness (National College Men's Division I Basketball Tournament).  Apparently there will be a meeting for most of my department around this timeframe.  My co-worker jokingly told our VP that while the rest of the team is away for meeting, she and I should do an off-site meeting at a nearby sports pub to watch the game.  I don't care if she wants to go, but I don't.  I don't really like basketball and really don't care for most bar food.
There will probably be at least one spot in our office that has the games on for most of the tournament.  SIGH.

I totally understand. College basketball is a big deal here in this county. Everyday during the season, the topic is discussed by most of the people I work with. Me? I work on the crochet or knitting project I bring to work with me.

FWIW....One of our local high school alumni played for UK on a basketball scholarship several years ago.

I live in Durham, NC and am a UNC grad.  The Triangle is the heart of the ACC and with Dook, UNC and State basketball is serious business here (especially this past year with all three in the NCAA tourney.)

During March Madness, I'm pretty sure that scheduling a meeting during a game (unless really important) is grounds for protesting:-)

(don't get me started on dook winning the whole thing....blah)