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  • July 24, 2016, 12:13:26 AM

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Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 524832 times)

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MindsEye

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2130 on: June 15, 2016, 01:47:58 PM »
I reached my Father's Day hill a couple of years ago.  FIL loves golfing and invites the men to join him.  But it takes forever and after two years of it I realized that DH spent most of the day away from his own child.  I pointed it out and he managed to get earlier start times and then it went away for a year or so.  I understand why FIL wants to spend the day with his kids, but trying to get the ILs to realize that with the next generation we need something a bit more family friendly :)

What about suggesting putt-putt?  Golfing (sort of) fun for the whole family!

blueyzca01

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2131 on: July 13, 2016, 03:03:24 PM »
There's some time still before Thanksgiving to discuss menu with Sister. (I'm also assuming a fairly decent sibling relationship here, since there appears to be a lot of regular contact with Sister). Bluey has offered to provide staples. In hammering out the menu, I see nothing wrong with Bluey perhaps stating "I can provide the following abc staple items, but my budget will only cover these items for X number of people."  If Sister wants a larger shin dig at that point, she has to step up (and pony up the money) for proper hosting.

Yes, my SIL and I have a great relationship (she refers to me as her sister, not an in-law), and she did listen to my offer to cook for a smaller group without being insulted. 

I have read the above comments and I really appreciate the feedback.  I do know that no one has the right to determine how someone else hosts or behaves in their own home.  It might end up that DH and I have to make a decision not to attend if SIL just cannot scale it back.

UPDATE! UPDATE!

Our offer sunk in!  SIL has come to realize that she doesn't have the space, money, space, money, and oh yea, neither the space nor the money to host 30 people for Thanksgiving!  She has decided that since none of the other people (outside her FOO) have ever invited her and her kids to dinner, holiday or not, she is DONE.  She is simply not going to extend the invitation to anyone not "on the list."

DH and I had dinner at her house last Saturday night, and while we were waiting for her BF to arrive, we wrote up "the list," divvied up the groceries and came up with the game plan:  I will arrive about 10am on Thanksgiving and I'll cook the basics, and she'll fill in the rest.  I guessed correctly back in May when I first posted...there will be 11 people, immediate family + the 1 orphan who has become family over the years.   She is sounding really excited about a lower-stress TG experience, and DH, his mom and I are thrilled because we just didn't like serving all these other people who treated us like they were at a restaurant.
No one ever says, "Why me?!?!" when something good happens.

ladyknight1

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  • Not all those who wander are lost
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2132 on: July 13, 2016, 03:07:37 PM »
Terrific news!
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

gmatoy

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2133 on: July 13, 2016, 08:52:22 PM »
I love good updates!

Chez Miriam

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2134 on: July 14, 2016, 06:25:33 AM »
That is truly a brilliant result, blueyzca01; congratulations on handling the situation in a way that she heard your suggestions without feeling pushed/bullied.  I bet you'll all enjoy it more this year [apart from the moochers who have to fend for themselves, of course].
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

blueyzca01

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #2135 on: July 14, 2016, 12:07:08 PM »
Thank you all!  I really am looking forward to TG now...as I've gotten older, it means much more to me than it used to.  Years ago, I wasn't all that impressed with the day; I mean, come on, it's only an elaborate dinner.  But now it does strike a chord in me to remember to be really grateful...especially when I get good turkey!
No one ever says, "Why me?!?!" when something good happens.