"No, mom. No need to pick me up. I'll drive and meet you there"

[geordicat]

My mom and her bf want to pick me up for dinner in a few weeks.  I don't see well at night, so.. they think they are saving me the hassle of driving. 

However, I get car sick when I ride in the back seat.  It doesn't matter how short the drive is, unless I'm driving or in the front passenger seat, I get queasy.  It doesn't help that my mom's bf drives unbelieveably slow and he hasn't figured out how to get the volume of the stereo to turn down in the back.  THey tell me it's automatically on a set level when the turn on the car.  So I have to wait for 'Burt' to turn on the car, talk.. talk.. TALK (good god the man talks a lot) so I'm waiting for him to turn down the sound.

My mom has changed dinner venues a few times.. first was seafood because that's all Burt wants.  He's allergic to pepper (any kind.. bell, spicy, black) so that leaves out most foods for him and 'seafood places give him more options of what he can eat.'  My mom and I don't like seafood that much... shellfish, ok.  Fins.. notsomuch.  Besides, the logic is we can always order non seafood stuff from a seafood place (kinda like going to a chinese place and getting a burger).  Burt gets his seafood and that's all that matters.

So.. dinner is at The Keg and it's just a few miles from my house to 'save me the hassle of driving at night they will pick me up.'  I told her nicely several times I"ll meet them there... really, I can do that.  Finally I had to say "NO I won't get in the back seat!  It makes me want to heave and Burt takes FOREVER to get in the car and get started to even turn on the stupid car."  We've joked that, before, if I did have to ride with them, I'm not getting in the car until Burt's halfway down the street because he gets in, turns on the car, (que music at loud volume) forgets something, has to go back in the house, comes back, turns down the music, forgets something, goes back in, comes back, puts car in gear, forgets something....  it's a battle my mom chooses to not fight, but that irritates the snot out of me, especially since I'm the one getting sick in the back.

My mom argued that SHE doesn't get sick, and she's ridden in the back.  That's nice.  I get car sick.  I get motion sick.  I don't want to ride in the back.

So I"m the unreasonable one for not wanting to ride in the back for 'just a few blocks.'   I don't mind if they come over (but will have to argue with my mom to park in an uncovered spot.. she'll park anywhere and claim it's only for a minute.. see, rules don't apply to her.. ya... rather entitled) but I do not want to get in the back seat and be sick.

[hjaye]

I don't blame you one bit.  I don't get car sick, but I really don't like riding in the back seat of a two door sedan.  I get very cramped and claustrophobic.  I hate it when someone tells me "Well gee, it doesn't bother me"  Great, glad to hear it and how exactly is that supposed to make me feel better.

Stick to your guns, don't be bullied into being put in a situation that makes you uncomfortably sick.

[geordicat]

I don't blame you one bit.  I don't get car sick, but I really don't like riding in the back seat of a two door sedan.  I get very cramped and claustrophobic.  I hate it when someone tells me "Well gee, it doesn't bother me"  Great, glad to hear it and how exactly is that supposed to make me feel better.

Stick to your guns, don't be bullied into being put in a situation that makes you uncomfortably sick.

I have grandparents in San Diego.  I had a set of grandparents in Los Angeles.  For years and years I swore that Grandma and Grandpa W in LA were just up the street from G&G T in San Diego.  "Just up the street!!"  I thought that because my parents drugged me so I"d fall asleep so I wouldn't get car sick and heave all over Grandma W when we got there.

[caranfin]

My mom argued that SHE doesn't get sick, and she's ridden in the back.  That's nice.  I get car sick.  I get motion sick.  I don't want to ride in the back.

Then why doesn't she do the obvious... offer to ride in the back herself? 

[geordicat]

My mom argued that SHE doesn't get sick, and she's ridden in the back.  That's nice.  I get car sick.  I get motion sick.  I don't want to ride in the back.

Then why doesn't she do the obvious... offer to ride in the back herself? 

Because then her bf (who talks incessantly) can't talk to her!  I swear the man NEVER SHUTS UP.  Granted, he's smart.  Yes, he knows a lot.  Just ask him.  But he's so intent on telling you what HE knows about whatever subject it is, he doesn't listen.  But.. she's happy with him and they put up with each other and they are happy, so that's what counts.

Really, I don't know why she doesn't want to ride in the back.   Maybe because it would inconvenience her too much.

[T'Mar of Vulcan]

However, I get car sick when I ride in the back seat.  It doesn't matter how short the drive is, unless I'm driving or in the front passenger seat, I get queasy.

I feel your pain. I have this exact problem as well. Luckily most people are understanding and let me sit in the front. Once or twice I've had to sit in the back and got out of the car all pale and shaky from the effort not to throw up and people say, "Why didn't you say anything?" Oh, I don't know, I was getting out first so I thought it would be easier...

Once I was driving with my brother and SIL. She was driving and when I tried to get in the front she snapped, "I want my HUSBAND to sit in the front with me!" at me. I spent the entire ride trying not to heave, and she turned corners sharply, almost making their huge laundry basket fall on me, so I had to hold it up as well. Then when I got out and couldn't go to a function with them (due to feeling so bad) she was like, "Oh, what a pity." Yeah, a pity you decided to disregard my very real car-sickness because you couldn't bear to let your husband sit in the back seat for 15 minutes!

And air conditioning in a car will make me queasy even if I do sit in the front. People always tell me I'm crazy or imagining it, but I read an article in the paper (our paper prints stuff from all the big news agencies, e.g. Reuters) that said that air con is actually worse for you than leaving the window open because air con uses air from the engine and that air usually has particles of dust, oil, etc. from the engine in it. I felt much better when I read this, because people were honestly making me doubt my own sanity. Now if someone insists on putting on the air con I will open the window. I need the air from outside, otherwise, barf city.

[Cydrius]

However, I get car sick when I ride in the back seat.  It doesn't matter how short the drive is, unless I'm driving or in the front passenger seat, I get queasy.

And air conditioning in a car will make me queasy even if I do sit in the front. People always tell me I'm crazy or imagining it, but I read an article in the paper (our paper prints stuff from all the big news agencies, e.g. Reuters) that said that air con is actually worse for you than leaving the window open because air con uses air from the engine and that air usually has particles of dust, oil, etc. from the engine in it. I felt much better when I read this, because people were honestly making me doubt my own sanity. Now if someone insists on putting on the air con I will open the window. I need the air from outside, otherwise, barf city.

So THAT'S why I get sick in my father's car. That explains a lot.

[Ant V]

Go to lunch rather than dinner so you are driving in day light hours.  Lunches are shorter making it easier to deal with a know-it-all boy friend.   Ask that the music be turned OFF rather than DOWN.   Ride three in the front.  It would be cozier for the couple anyway.  Stand outside the car and say "I can't ride in the back seat because it makes me want to barf".  If everyone stays muley, thank them for the offer of a ride and either stay home or get in your own car and drive to the destination. 

[TychaBrahe]

My mom argued that SHE doesn't get sick, and she's ridden in the back.  That's nice.  I get car sick.  I get motion sick.  I don't want to ride in the back.

I don't understand this.  Is she offering to sit in the back?  Cool!  Or is she suggesting that since she doesn't get carsick then you shouldn't either?  Well perhaps Burt should eat some pepper, because it surely doesn't bother either or you.

[Lisbeth]

I'd tell your mother that you'll be happy to join her if you make it a girl's night at a place you'll both enjoy, without Burt.

[Suze]

Agh - I've gotten this treatment since I was old enough to remember. (I've had "car sick" problems since I was 6 WEEKS old)

just because your stomach stays in place - doesn't mean mine will.

and to expect you to ride in the back AFTER eating is just a disaster waiting to happen.

[Warbaby]

However, I get car sick when I ride in the back seat.  It doesn't matter how short the drive is, unless I'm driving or in the front passenger seat, I get queasy.

I feel your pain. I have this exact problem as well. Luckily most people are understanding and let me sit in the front. Once or twice I've had to sit in the back and got out of the car all pale and shaky from the effort not to throw up and people say, "Why didn't you say anything?" Oh, I don't know, I was getting out first so I thought it would be easier...

Once I was driving with my brother and SIL. She was driving and when I tried to get in the front she snapped, "I want my HUSBAND to sit in the front with me!" at me. I spent the entire ride trying not to heave, and she turned corners sharply, almost making their huge laundry basket fall on me, so I had to hold it up as well. Then when I got out and couldn't go to a function with them (due to feeling so bad) she was like, "Oh, what a pity." Yeah, a pity you decided to disregard my very real car-sickness because you couldn't bear to let your husband sit in the back seat for 15 minutes!

And air conditioning in a car will make me queasy even if I do sit in the front. People always tell me I'm crazy or imagining it, but I read an article in the paper (our paper prints stuff from all the big news agencies, e.g. Reuters) that said that air con is actually worse for you than leaving the window open because air con uses air from the engine and that air usually has particles of dust, oil, etc. from the engine in it. I felt much better when I read this, because people were honestly making me doubt my own sanity. Now if someone insists on putting on the air con I will open the window. I need the air from outside, otherwise, barf city.

Sorry, old auto mechanic here, the air for the air conditioning does come from outside.  The grill just under the windshield is where the air is taken in.  Most of the modern autos also have quite a filtration system to get rid of the dust/pollen particles.  Talk to a good, knowledgeable mechanic and see if he doesn't tell you the same.

The air does not come from the engine/engine compartment.

That does not, by the way, mean that you don't feel sick when all closed up.  To a lot of people, just the fact that they are closed up in a car will make any tendency to motion sickness worse.

[iambe]

Since it's just up the street from your house, you can say
"What time shall we meet at the restaurant?"

If that doesn't work:

"Don't be silly, we'll pick you up"
"Sorry Mom, that won't work for me. What time should I meet you at the restaurant?"
"It's so close, we're driving right by your place. There's no need for you to drive!"
"It's better if I meet you there. What time?"
"Why shouldn't we pick you up?"
"That won't work for me. Shall we meet at 7?"

ad nauseum
(Oh wait, that would be if you went with them).