ARGH! Answering machine etiquette

[kethria]

My boss is out of the country for a month, visiting family in India. He asked me to record an answering machine message.

So I basically recorded the following. "You have reached the office of Dr. John Doe. Dr. Doe will be out of the country from Jan 20th to Feb 20th. If you need to speak to a member of the lab please call Dr. John Smith at ***-***-****. Thank you"

I am not leaving my number because in 2 weeks I am being transferred to another lab. Anyhow.

Can people not hear the message? I've fielded 3 calls today that said "Hey John this is Bob, pick up!"

And I missed a call from someone who was speaking so quickly I had to replay the message three times to get the number she left, and I still have no idea what her name is. She left a message for ME and "John Smith" on Dr. Doe's answering machine.


I cannot stand people who leave incoherent messages. I always speak slowly so that people can understand me.


Why do they do this?

[FoxPaws]

I don't know, but I have felt your pain.

I spent years answering a phone, "Thank you for calling NameOfBusiness on EasyStreet, open 24 hours, this is Kewpie, how may I help you," only to be immediately asked by the caller, "Is this the one on EasyStreet? What time do you close? Who am I talking to?"

I spoke clearly and didn't rush, so it wasn't that they couldn't understand me, it was that some people just don't listen.

I blame the multi-tasking myth. People have been so indoctrinated to think they should be doing two things at once, they spend twice as much time trying to be efficient than they would if they just focused on the task at hand for 30 seconds.

[Chocolate Cake]

Re-record the message and begin like this:

THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN CHANGED.  PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE.  (Loud, serious voice)

John Smith is out of the office blah, blah, blah   (Regular speaking voice)

[kethria]

Unfortunately I sound like a cartoon character when I record my voice... Maybe that would be good though!

[HogwartsAlum]

I second the opinion that people don't listen. 

My home phone number is one digit different than the Child Support Enforcement number.  I used to leave a message that said, "You have reached ***-****.  This is not Child Support.  That number is *#*-****.  Please hang up and redial.  If you would like to leave a message for HogwartsAlum, please do so after the beep and I will return your call."  No one listened.  They left messages for their caseworker, left their case number, and one lady even left her SS# on my machine! (I called her back and told her not to do that again and that I erased it.) Every day I would come home to messages that weren't for me.

Finally I had to resort to making a message that said, in a very twangy and goofy voice, "Hiiiiii.  I'm a answerin' machine in a private house.  This isn't Child Support," blah blah blah.  It sounds completely idiotic, but it gets their attention.  Instead of messages, now I get some hangups, but it has cut down on the problem significantly.

[lolane]

I know what you mean, people just do not listen. I was out of the office for 2 weeks once and I got calls from the same person over and over again, despite the fact that the message stated that I was out of the office and woul not be returning until X.

The persons messages started off nice, but eventually she left angry messages wondering why I hadn't returned her phone call yet. I'm thinking, ok you missed the message the first two times, but after that wouldn't you say "hey, she's usually really good at returning phone calls, maybe I should listed closely to the message."

[Betsy]

I have a different opinion. When DH had his tonsils out the ENT that did the surgury was going on vacation the next week. He told us that should anything happen to leave a message on his voicemail as the doctor covering for him would check it. When DH started bleeding again I called and left a message on the voicemail even though the message said that soandso were on vacation and no-one would be checking this machine. Within a half hour covering doctor called me back instructing me that he would meet us at the ER.

Could your doctor have inadvertently told any of their patients a similar thing (that someone responsible would be covering this voicemail)?

[Twik]

We lost a client because of answering machine etiquette once. At least, he might have become our client.

Week 1 - I get a message on my machine while at lunch, asking me to please call Sam at 555-555X. What's X? I can't hear it clearly. I listened repeatedly. I got other people to listen repeatedly. I tried substituting possible numbers for X, but nothing in our area code worked, or had a Sam there.

Week 2 - I get an annoyed-sounding message. "Hello, this is Sam. I left a message, and no one's called me back yet. If I don't hear from you soon, forget about my business." Notice something missing? No phone number at all this time.

If you're reading this, Sam, I'm sorry. I tried, I really did.

[kethria]

We're government research, so there are no patients, and as far as I know, he sent out an email saying "Hey I'll be out of the country from 1/20-2/21... So far ONE person called the John Smith number. YAY National Zoo Lady!

[MineralDiva]

I have people who don't listen to the message on our voice-mail at the office, either.  They'll leave the most idiotic messages.  It's just one of those eye-rolling things that makes you wonder.

Then there are the people who find the message so efficient at giving them information, when we're not in the office, that they simply hang up.  Except that the hang-ups get recorded, and I have to delete them all.

It's simply a no-win scenario.

[hkkatie]

I am teaching my dh how to leave messages for this reason! He always rushes through his messages and either forgets to say his name, or rushes through the number so that it's hard to understand or something. The other night he left a message for someone and actually did a very good job. I had to praise him! lol.

[MineralDiva]

It's funny.  I can remember in elementary school, learning about proper phone etiquette.  Guess now, it should be phone, answering machine, and text messaging etiquette!  lol

[blue_bunny_paz]

I hate answerphones. Hate hate hate. I always panic when I leave a message and sound like an idiot. But I do always say my name and number clearly, even if it is sandwiched between "ooh, an answerphone. You're not there then. Oh." and "Er, yes, that's it. Yes."

[RegionMom]

My brother moved to a new house in a new state and called to leave his new # on my machine.  I TRIED so HARD to hear all his run-on numbers!  I had 3 family members try to figure it out, also.
Called Mom, and she did not know either for the same reason.
Finally called his wife on her cell and asked her. 

"Hi, this is so-and-so, Calling about such-and-such.  Call me back at aslf3qektu6weoi84hSDK7gs1T"
Not everyone has caller id, and even if they did, not every caller calls from where they want the # returned! 
s.l.o.w.  d.o.w.n...
and I just may call you back!

[HogwartsAlum]

My brother moved to a new house in a new state and called to leave his new # on my machine.  I TRIED so HARD to hear all his run-on numbers!  I had 3 family members try to figure it out, also.
Called Mom, and she did not know either for the same reason.
Finally called his wife on her cell and asked her. 

"Hi, this is so-and-so, Calling about such-and-such.  Call me back at aslf3qektu6weoi84hSDK7gs1T"
Not everyone has caller id, and even if they did, not every caller calls from where they want the # returned! 
s.l.o.w.  d.o.w.n...
and I just may call you back!

Yeah, the speakers on those things aren't always the best, either.  That makes it even harder to hear people sometimes.