General Etiquette > Family and Children

How many guests is too many? (6 year old birthday party)

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hollasa:
My eldest daughter Katherine is turning 6 next month. Up to now, we've had fairly low key birthday parties at home, with friends and neighbors, of approximately age + 1 attendees. We have a big playroom, big living room, so it's mainly been playing, cake and snack, parade around the house, and then home again.

This year, Katherine's in kindergarten. Her class is 11 students in total, and she's been to 3 birthday parties so far. With the small number in the class, it's very common to have all class members invited. One birthday party was at an indoor play area, one was at a home, and one is to be at a swimming pool (this last one is inviting just the 4 girls in the class). We're going to be invited to at least two more, just from casual conversation this morning with two moms...

My family tradition is to have small parties - but then, I wasn't popular in school, and having a July birthday meant that everyone was away when it was my birthday! Is having some 15 kids for a party a rude number? Would it seem like a huge gift grab, or would it seem friendly?

One little boy, who went to daycare with Katherine (and now goes with her sister), was asking me today if he was invited to her birthday, and when I said I'd check with her, he told his daycare provider that he was "dancing with joy" that I was going to check with her. She's a popular kid!

As we're going to be renovating our kitchen sometime around then, I'm thinking of going to the play area instead of having a party here - I'm not too sure about that number of kids here, big house or not! Plus, all those little boys...

At what point does this become too much? One little girl who's come to the last several parties lives up the road from us; we haven't seen her for a while (don't much in winter, plus her mom has a little baby, plus we have rather different parenting practices) but I can't *not* invite her, can I? If her neighbors are invited? And if we've done it the past two years, plus gone to her party?

And then there's Brandon, who again used to go to daycare with Katherine, still goes with her sister - sisters were invited to Brandon's birthday party, if his friend's invited he'd want to go, if he goes his sister (one year older than Katherine) would love to come, plus their cousin's in Katherine's class...

Yikes!

Thanks for any tips,

Sarah

MrsP81:
Since the class is so small I would be tempted to invite them all if that is something you can do. It would feel awkward for the children who weren't invited since there aren't many to start with. As for the other kids outside of her class, that would be a judgement call. You don't have to invite them just because that is how it has always been. If they still see each other a lot and get along then fine but not just for the sake of inviting them.

freakyfemme:
I'd say invite all the kids, but maybe direct the party AWAY from your house (or at least, the parts of the house that need renovation).....maybe do ice skating or sledding or something, followed by a "picnic" of hot chocolate and birthday cake or whatever, in your basement, if you have a finished basement. 

Shoo:
We had 12 kids at my dd's 6th birthday party.  Didn't seem like too many to me, but I think I may have a high threshhold for chaos.

LifeOnPluto:
What about a picnic in a park, if it's not too cold (I'm assuming you're a northern hemispherian)?

Otherwise I don't see anything wrong with capping numbers to the 11 children in your daughter's class. If you feel things might get too unruly, you could always rein in another adult, or a teen to help with the little ones. Eg your husband, or family friend, or teenage niece, etc etc.

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