Roommate...need help.

[Vivitop]

Well I did talk to roommate again...and I made sure he understood that I was serious. So far, for the past 2 days, I've been coming home and waking up and finding the door lock. I think he still thinks I'm paranoid but he understood it is important for me. This is all I'm asking for:).

I was also talking to some of my friends that live in the same neighborhood as me and they told me horror stories about unlock door...scary

It is too bad that we don't have access to the sex offender database like in the US; I think only the RCMP has acces to it... 

Thank you to all of you

V.

[Slartibartfast]

I second the idea that a lot of guys don't realize how much less worrying about safety they do.

I was taking a shower late one evening, and my DH wanted to "surprise" me (presumably for something involving the bed when I got out).  So I had just turned off the shower when he turned off the bathroom lights.  It's late, dark, there are no lights on in the house, and he also took the towels from the hook (to ensure I would hurry up getting out of the bathroom to look for them, I think.)

Now, for some reason, my first thought was that it was someone who had broken into our home and hurt DH, and was going to rape me if he figured out I was standing there naked in the tub.  I know now (and probably part of me even realised then) that this was ridiculous, because our dog wasn't barking like he would if someone had come in the house, but I just couldn't force myself to take two steps across the bathroom and turn on the light.  I just crouched down, shivering, and freaking out silently.  I ended up calling softly to the dog who came and stood near me, and DH came in to find out what was wrong when he heard me crying into our puppy's fur    I felt bad because it was sweet of DH to try to surprise me with something fun and different, but I was jittery in the shower for months afterward, and I still won't take a shower when I'm alone in the house.

ETA:  Darnit, this is making me cry again now.  I shouldn't post these things from work - I hope nobody comes in my library for the next few minutes

*HUG* I hope he slept on the couch for a few days!!!!!

Worse - I wouldn't let him sleep without me practically holding him down and hugging him tight so I would be reassured he was still there :-)  I probably gave him bruised ribs over the course of the next week.

[RuneGuardian]

My roommates and I are usually okay about locking the door when we're not home or at night, but sometimes someone forgets. Like a couple nights ago around 3 in the morning, someone knocked on our door and then came in. Then I felt someone jostling my shoulders (I was asleep). It turned out to be my friend coming by to lend me a book I eneded for class, but not knowing I was asleep. Still could have easily been someone else. It's ironic - the door is almost always locked when everyone is home, and then someone leaves it unlocked at night or when we all go to class. I'm shocked that I haven't come home yet to find the apartment had been robbed.

[Rei-chan]

WOW.  After reading all these stories, it just reaffirms my reasons to have....

1.  Doors locked: ALWAYS
2.  Huge 90lb dog with a protective streak
3.  Stun Gun in purse
4.  my Grandpa's old nightstick next to the bed
5.  A fire extinguisher also next to the bed (fire safety and weapon at the same time)
6.  My cell goes with me to the bathroom when I am taking a shower

Can ya tell I'm a bit paranoid?   

[hobish]

Well I did talk to roommate again...and I made sure he understood that I was serious. So far, for the past 2 days, I've been coming home and waking up and finding the door lock. I think he still thinks I'm paranoid but he understood it is important for me. This is all I'm asking for:).

I was also talking to some of my friends that live in the same neighborhood as me and they told me horror stories about unlock door...scary

It is too bad that we don't have access to the sex offender database like in the US; I think only the RCMP has acces to it... 

Thank you to all of you

V.

Glad to hear it V!
...and, hey, if your roommate starts slacking on keeping the doors locked, or starts saying you are paranoid sit him down in front of this thread. It's definitely full of great examples why you are anything but paranoid.

[Squeaks]

To me this is beyond unacceptable. If you find it unlocked in the middle of the night wake him up and make him go lock it. Id be inclined to change the locks and not give him one until he learned due to safety – but that is way to mean.

Other tips

Find a way to break/jam the lock so it is stuck in a locked position preventing the possibility of the door being unlocked.

Look into other locks that either default to being locked (maybe one that even if you let yourself in, it will still swing shut locked) this way he does not have to remember anything.

And finally look into putting a lock on your bedroom door that way its not as big a deal.


On a side note I had a boss that had the rule that if you came into work in the morning and found the building had been left unlocked we had to call the cops to do a walk though – needless to say we were all very careful. Could something like that work (i.e. embarrassment/pain in the ***/headache/spectacle when the door is unlocked

[Vivitop]

[/quote]

Glad to hear it V!
...and, hey, if your roommate starts slacking on keeping the doors locked, or starts saying you are paranoid sit him down in front of this thread. It's definitely full of great examples why you are anything but paranoid.
[/quote]

Actually, I think we witnessed the best example yesterday... During the afternoon, a man that was waiting for his ride home on the sidewalk got stabbed, right in front on the entrance of the building Roommate and I work in, by some random guy. The entrance that we use every day. Before, all the doors in the building were unlock during working hours, but a security guard was standing right next to it. Now, ALL doors are lock all the time; we need our access card to get in. Maybe now he'll get the point. By the way, the victim is okay.

V.

[sparksals]

To me this is beyond unacceptable. If you find it unlocked in the middle of the night wake him up and make him go lock it. Id be inclined to change the locks and not give him one until he learned due to safety – but that is way to mean.

Other tips

Find a way to break/jam the lock so it is stuck in a locked position preventing the possibility of the door being unlocked.

Look into other locks that either default to being locked (maybe one that even if you let yourself in, it will still swing shut locked) this way he does not have to remember anything.

And finally look into putting a lock on your bedroom door that way its not as big a deal.


On a side note I had a boss that had the rule that if you came into work in the morning and found the building had been left unlocked we had to call the cops to do a walk though – needless to say we were all very careful. Could something like that work (i.e. embarrassment/pain in the ***/headache/spectacle when the door is unlocked

You raise a very good point.  You should never enter your home or office if you think it may have been robbed.  Let's say you come home to find your door unlocked when you are positive you locked it.  I would get on my cellphone to call 9/11 and ask for a cop to come look through the house. 

A couple years ago, I came home and our alarm was going off.  My dh was a sheriff's deputy at the time, so I just called dispatch and they sent someone out to check the house.  Turns out, our little dog set off the alarm, but I was not taking any chances. 

You just never know if someone is still in the house in the case of a robbery.  NEVER enter even if you suspect.  You could have accidently forgotten to lock the door, but it is better to be safe than sorry. 

[Squeaks]

On a side note I had a boss that had the rule that if you came into work in the morning and found the building had been left unlocked we had to call the cops to do a walk though – needless to say we were all very careful. Could something like that work (i.e. embarrassment/pain in the ***/headache/spectacle when the door is unlocked

You raise a very good point.  You should never enter your home or office if you think it may have been robbed.  Let's say you come home to find your door unlocked when you are positive you locked it.  I would get on my cellphone to call 9/11 and ask for a cop to come look through the house. 

A couple years ago, I came home and our alarm was going off.  My dh was a sheriff's deputy at the time, so I just called dispatch and they sent someone out to check the house.  Turns out, our little dog set off the alarm, but I was not taking any chances. 

You just never know if someone is still in the house in the case of a robbery.  NEVER enter even if you suspect.  You could have accidently forgotten to lock the door, but it is better to be safe than sorry. 

I called the cops twice while I worked there (within less than 3 months of each other) both times they were very accommodating (even though it was the same two cops both times and remembered me!) I was grateful to my boss for having this rule, and the cops understood perfectly well. To my knowledge there was never any bill – though we were worried they would lose patience eventually.   

It’s a good thing to keep in mind though – cops are here to help and they would rather quickly run though hundreds of houses than get a call when you get injured.

The problem is that in the OP’s situation – they would be calling constantly and they have no control over the locking and the cops may get fed up – then again a lecture from a cop might actually ring the message home.

[LadyJaneinMD]

WOW.  After reading all these stories, it just reaffirms my reasons to have....

1.  Doors locked: ALWAYS
2.  Huge 90lb dog with a protective streak
3.  Stun Gun in purse
4.  my Grandpa's old nightstick next to the bed
5.  A fire extinguisher also next to the bed (fire safety and weapon at the same time)
6.  My cell goes with me to the bathroom when I am taking a shower

Can ya tell I'm a bit paranoid?   

I keep a small crowbar hanging next to the front door.  I am ready and willing to *hurt* anyone who bothers me.

[Twik]

You raise a very good point.  You should never enter your home or office if you think it may have been robbed.  Let's say you come home to find your door unlocked when you are positive you locked it.  I would get on my cellphone to call 9/11 and ask for a cop to come look through the house. 

A few years ago, I came home late one day from work (note that I live in a fairly large apartment building, with security locks and everything). When I went to put my key in my apartment door, it wouldn't go in. Then I realized the door was open.

As I walked in, I remember thinking, "I may be messy, but I certainly didn't leave my home like THIS this morning!" Long story short, the place was ransacked, and I'd been robbed.

When the policewoman arrived, she took my story, but when I told her about entering the apartment, she just stared at me for a second. "You mean, you just walked on in?" she asked, shaking her head sadly.

All I could say was, "Oops, that wasn't a good idea, was it?".