What catches your hair on fire?

[lilaenne]

Complete strangers who call me "hon" or "sweetie". Especially when I'm at work; my job requires skill and effort, and if you could do it, Mr. Patronizing-nicknames-jerk, you wouldn't be standing there needing me to do it for you. It implies an intimacy (creepy from a stranger) and/or condescention (simply infuriating) that I cannot stand.

Persons over 70 are given a pass on this one (if there nice), but I think everyone else is capable of "miss" or "ma'am".

[freakyfemme]

People telling me I want to argue, or I want to be upset, when they're bullying me and saying really WRONG things ("You can't work in X department for Y reason" when I know PERFECTLY well that's not the case at all.)

No, I dont' want to argue, you just won't listen to my side of the story.  No, I don't want to be upset, you're being a bully.  I want to discuss things rationally like adults.  And I try, I really do.

  I've made myself sad

My mom does that.

[T'Mar of Vulcan]

"Be proactive."

I hate that. My boss says it when she really means, "I expect you to read my mind and take the initiative in doing things I only thought about today." Lady, your staff are not mind-readers! Even Vulcans have to be in physical contact for a mind-meld to work, you know!!

If someone says "be proactive", I have an insane urge to go and buy yoghurt that says "probiotic" on it and claim I got confused!!

[extranormal]

Any conversation that begins with, "Now, don't take this the wrong way, but" is NOT going to end well.

[Musicwoman]

Partnered parents complaining about how essential it is they both work full-time because no-one can survive on one income these days, and how hard-done by they are because their other half is going away for the weekend and they're going to have to cope with the kids all by themselves!!!!!

I have no problem with both parents working.  But don't whine about it and tell me you have to. I'm a widow and my family does have to survive on one wage.  We have a shabby house and a 16-year old car, but we get by.  You could get by on one wage too.  Or have two wages and nice things.  I don't care.  But don't whinge to me about the inconveniences of working when I suffer them too and am still broke.

And you have to have the kids all by yourself for two whole days?  Awwwwwwww.  Do it for 7 years, like I have (one of them autistic, to boot) and I might just listen.     

[Cyndi]

"If mentally retarded people can work, why can't you?" - said by my sister.

[Sleepingmediocre]

I'm generally a good-natured person, but NOTHING makes me fly into a rage faster than someone of the male persuasion assuming I can't do something or don't know something because I'm a giiiiiiirl, or someone older than I am thinking I'm capable or incapable of something because I'm young.  People who act as if they know something when they obviously don't hack me off too, especially at work when someone comes to ME for help and then proceeds to tell me what to do or that I don't know what I'm talking about.

[MerryRaven]

Well the other side of that is assuming that because I am old (over 50) I don't know or am incapable of understanding or learning about something that interests people under 25. 

I don't like or understand all popular music for instance but then I didn't like or understand all music from the 70's or 80's either.  I am willing to listen and give it a chance and even enjoy and like it.

 I think 'ageism' from either end is just rude. 

I will assume a younger person is as intelligent as I am until they prove me wrong.

What really bugs me is people over 75 treating me as if I am 12 instead of 52.

[Quesselin]

"You can't have any morals if you're an atheist. Atheists have no reason not to commit horrible crimes" etc.

My reply: "Yes, I can have morals. And I have mine because it is the right thing to do, and because I *want* to be a good person. You just basically told me the only reason you don't go on killing sprees or rob banks or commit sexual assault is because you're scared you'll be punished by your god. I don't do those things because I don't want to and it's wrong."

Disclaimer! Most religious people would never say anything stupid as that, I know that.

[Lunadiana75]

Being told to "calm down", 90% of the time it's used in a rude and condescending way.  I especially hate it when I AM calm and soemone says that to me because they don't like what I'm saying.

[gadget--gal]

The phrase "black man's timing"    (or other stupid phrases that people invent to make their bad behaviour look acceptable)

Basically people reel of this phrase when they're late for a social event, or worse still the organsisers are late for starting the event. So imaginef it's 10pm and the event should have started at 8pm some idiot will just laugh and say, "well 10pm GMT is 8pm BPT so we're right on time!!" sheesh!

It makes my hackles rrise when people blame faux pas on their ethnicity. I'ts like saying, I get a pass because I'm xxx-ian.

(P.S. I'm black, lol!)



 

[gadget--gal]

"You wouldn't know about that, you're too young" and its opposite, "of course you can do that, you're young."

For example:
"Johnny Weissmuller once swam in this swimming pool, but you wouldn't know who he was, you're too young."
(The person telling me this was under 50, which makes her too young to have seen Tarzan in the 1930s, too. And I'm an avid fan of classic movies, especially those from the 20s and 30s, so yes, I know who he was).

"Of course you know how to do XXX on a computer, you've been using them since kindergarten. It's a lot harder if you don't learn them until you're older."
(I attended kindergarten in 1978. I don't recall having computers in the classroom. I learned how to use most programs in college, and yes, I struggled with the mouse at first, too).

IA that it's utter rubbish!! I returned to the UK at age 16 after five years in Africa. I didn't even know what a mouse was, and now I work in IT

[Kirasabu]

Referring to people with children as "irresponsible parents of the human variety" really really bugs me.

I agree!!

Us CF folks don't call everyone with kids 'irresponsible parent of the human variety'! There are BNPs, which stands for irresponsible parents of the human variety, Not Parents. Then there are PNBs, Parents, Not irresponsible parents of the human variety. We appreciate the latter!

[ShadesOfGrey]

Being told to "calm down", 90% of the time it's used in a rude and condescending way.  I especially hate it when I AM calm and soemone says that to me because they don't like what I'm saying.

this is a good one. It gets me every time!  Mostly because it falls under the category of condescension, which definitely sets my hair on fire.

-also, anything that is said negatively or incorrectly about mentally ill people ("what are you, schizophrenic?" ""No, but I happen to know someone who is, and I do NOT appreciate your flippant use of her very real condition."). 

[Emmy]

Doing something after I expliecetly request a person not to.  An example is my boyfriend in college thought he was being funny, but he was actually being more annoying.  Since I wasn't amused, he called me 'mopey' repeatidly which really rubbed me the wrong way.  I told him that I didn't appreciate being called 'mopey'.  He said, "well you are mopey".  I walked out of the room.

When somebody says something they know is offensive to somebody else, then saying sorry before the other person can react so they can 'get away' with the statement.  The person who I am thinking of apologizes not because he is sorry, but to diffuse the peson getting angry because he does the same thing often and seems to laugh at his own jokes.

Anybody who treats me like I'm stupid.  I remember when I was about 9, my bro, sis, and I got our photo taken with Santa.  When we got it back I didn't like the way my hair looked and mentioned that to my mom.  The woman who gave the picture back pretended to fluff up my hair on the picture, gave a condescending smile and asked "is that better?".  I may have been a kid, but I wasn't stupid.