What is your worst verbal faux-pas??

[kingsrings]

Something you said that was really, really stupid, embarrassing, or offensive, when you didn't intend to be.

My worst was when I was on a car trip with my then-BF. We were both local actors, and were using the long car trip to hone our singing skills. He put the accompanient tape in the player, and off we took turns singing. At one point when it was his turn, his voice sounded so odd and funny that I thought that he must be just kidding around or doing a character voice for exaggeration purposes. He finished and asked what I thought. I told him that I could better critique his voice if he sang normally and wasn't just goofing off. Well, he wasn't goofing off. I was so mortified by my unintentional offense that I was speechless. Months later, both of us were with another group of people talking about singing in local musicals. He told the whole group that he couldn't do musicals because when he sang, people thought that he was joking. Ouch. I did a deep hurt on that one.


Another time I was working the counter at Round Table Pizza. I hadn't had a chance to look at the bar area yet and see that one of the beer taps was marked off with an 'out' sign as it was empty. A group came in and ordered pizza and beer. When I asked what kind of beer, one of the guys wisecracked that he wanted 'out' beer. Since I hadn't seen the bar area yet, I was confused and told him, "Sir, we don't serve a beer with the name of out". I just thought maybe he was referring to an odd-named beer type. The group didn't say anything, they were probably too busy thinking how dumb I was and cracking plenty of jokes later about the dumb waitress who served them.

[Cyndi]

In a world where people read between the lines of what is said, I make so many faux pas. Usually when I say something I mean just the words I say, nothing more, nothing less.

I think the most embarrassing blunder was a time I was talking to an Asian guy working at MacDonald's. It was during the time my mom was having radiation treatment after a lumpectomy and couldn't drive. So my dad would drive himself and I to Mickey D's and I'd get the food. Anyhow, I finally asked the guy "So what nationality are you exactly? I'm trying to figure it out, but you all look the same." Then I backpedaled and said, "I mean...I didn't mean that in a bad way. I just can't tell by looking where you're from."

Fortunately he laughed it off and told me he was Korean.

But ughhhhhh sometimes I say something bluntly with no intended offense and then don't realize why it made someone angry until way later.

[Bijou]

Something you said that was really, really stupid, embarrassing, or offensive, when you didn't intend to be.

My worst was when I was on a car trip with my then-BF. We were both local actors, and were using the long car trip to hone our singing skills. He put the accompanient tape in the player, and off we took turns singing. At one point when it was his turn, his voice sounded so odd and funny that I thought that he must be just kidding around or doing a character voice for exaggeration purposes. He finished and asked what I thought. I told him that I could better critique his voice if he sang normally and wasn't just goofing off. Well, he wasn't goofing off. I was so mortified by my unintentional offense that I was speechless. Months later, both of us were with another group of people talking about singing in local musicals. He told the whole group that he couldn't do musicals because when he sang, people thought that he was joking. Ouch. I did a deep hurt on that one.


Another time I was working the counter at Round Table Pizza. I hadn't had a chance to look at the bar area yet and see that one of the beer taps was marked off with an 'out' sign as it was empty. A group came in and ordered pizza and beer. When I asked what kind of beer, one of the guys wisecracked that he wanted 'out' beer. Since I hadn't seen the bar area yet, I was confused and told him, "Sir, we don't serve a beer with the name of out". I just thought maybe he was referring to an odd-named beer type. The group didn't say anything, they were probably too busy thinking how dumb I was and cracking plenty of jokes later about the dumb waitress who served them.

I used to think I had a stigmatism, but the A is connected and I have an astigmatism.  Stigmatism actually means normal eyesight.

[CutebutPsycho]

One time a girlfriend of mine helped me move. It was a long distance move (approx 50 km) so I bought her a tank of gas and some dinner. When I was getting pizza ready for dinner, I asked her if she wanted a beer. She said no thanks, water is fine because she didn't want to drink and drive. So I gave her her water and we finished up dinner. After the pizza was gone we were going to unload the rest of the stuff from the truck, and then hang out for a while. We finished unloading the truck and I said to her "would you like a bottle of water for the road?"

She looked stricken and I realized what I said and had to backpedal... "I didn't mean you should go... just that you didn't want beer because you had to drive... CRAP sorry Michelle..." Oooooops  She had been so nice to help me and I (accidentally) insulted her!

[Lexophile]

I was having dinner with the family of a soon-to-be bride. They were very old-fashioned and didn't know that she was living with him before they were married ... until she made some wisecrack about one of his quirks and I blurted out, "Well, you're living with him for crying out loud!"

The other one was a bilingual mix-up. I was living in Costa Rica on a class trip and asked my host mom for a towel because i wanted to take a shower. THe word I was taught was "toalla." My host mom handed me a maxi pad.

[Slartibartfast]

Just today I had a woman come in my library looking for "Darryll."  I went and found Darryll and told him his mom was looking for him, then got back to work.  A few minutes later she comes over to me, taps me on the shoulder, and says "I'm not his mother, I'm his grandma!"

I guess it's better that way than the other way around . . . but why was she upset about it?  I wanted to say "Look lady, if adults would actually show up with these kids sometimes, I would have known!"

[thebadchemist]

I was having dinner with the family of a soon-to-be bride. They were very old-fashioned and didn't know that she was living with him before they were married ... until she made some wisecrack about one of his quirks and I blurted out, "Well, you're living with him for crying out loud!"

The other one was a bilingual mix-up. I was living in Costa Rica on a class trip and asked my host mom for a towel because i wanted to take a shower. THe word I was taught was "toalla." My host mom handed me a maxi pad.

!Buenas! I know Costa Rican Spanish uses quite a few different phrase than Mexican Spanish (which is most commonly taught in the US). I only know "toalla" for "towel", too. What was the proper term?

I had my own bilingual faux-pas, although it wasn't technically verbal. I was in Peru and walked downstairs (we were staying in a house-turned-dormitory) for breakfast. I saw a carton labeled leche descremada and it literally translates to "de-creamed milk". I thought it meant lowfat or nonfat milk. So, I poured myself a glass and chugged. Of course, I was standing in the middle of the dining area... and I hear, "No, no! Es por la cafe! Es por la cafe!" (It's for the coffee!)

Apparently, I was drinking the creamer.

I commit a great many verbal faux-pas, but one person (G) seems to be the victim of my worst foot-in-mouth moments.

1) It was a hotly contested election year and I voted for Party A's candidate. Right before I saw G, I had been on the receiving end of a scathingly rude and insulting rant about Party A by a staunch member of Party B. It wasn't a rant filled with statistics and data, but rather the "All of Party A are idiots and you're an idiot for voting for them!" kind of rant. I was a little scarred and it definitely stuck with me for a while.

A few days later, G was saying that her roommate was making the same kind of rants about members of a political party. It had become so bad that G was taking refuge in our boyfriends' apartment.

Me: "Oh, geez, I'm sorry. Let me guess, your roommate is a member of Party B."
G: "No... I am!"

...............oops. 

2) G and her BF marry. Months later, we're all hanging out in a big group and weddings come up. Someone else brings up photography/videography and I say, "I don't understand why people make wedding videos. It seems kind of pointless. Does anyone actually watch it?" (Yes, I feel that way... and yes, I was definitely tasting my kneecap at that point.)

G (very sweetly and with no sarcasm at all): Want to see mine?

I'd like to say that I'm generally not that thoughtless and when I don't think before I speak, this poor woman seems to be on the receiving end of it. Thank goodness she's a gracious person.

[kingsrings]

Once when I was working at a private college, we had one of our students show up with her newborn son in tow. He had the same big, blue eyes as hers, and as my co-worker and I were fawning over him, I mentioned that he has her eyes. She shot me a very dirty look and didn't say anything. When she left, my co-worker explained to me that her new son was adopted. Oops. But he really did have the same eyes as hers, so how was I to know? In her shoes, I would of just laughed it off instead of getting offended.

[ChristiKayAnn]

Once when I was working at a private college, we had one of our students show up with her newborn son in tow. He had the same big, blue eyes as hers, and as my co-worker and I were fawning over him, I mentioned that he has her eyes. She shot me a very dirty look and didn't say anything. When she left, my co-worker explained to me that her new son was adopted. Oops. But he really did have the same eyes as hers, so how was I to know? In her shoes, I would of just laughed it off instead of getting offended.

I have gotten this same kind of remark a lot of times with my dad (step dad who raised me from 13) so I should know better than to say oh your son/daughter look a lot like you etc. But I did it just last week.

I saw an acquaintance whose wife I had recently met who had, had a young lady with her and I asked him if it was their daughter because his wife had only introduced her by her name not relationship.  He said yes that was my daughter. and I replied I thought she might be because of her age and she looks like you. That was when I found out that she was an adopted foster child. Oops! Like I said I should know better.

But in my defence I sometimes think that what people are seeing when they say this is not necessarily physical resemblance but the fact that people look natural together like parents/children should or they are seeing learned traits/expressions/mannerisms that the adopted/step child has picked up from being raised by that parent.

[hellgirl]

Okay... it took me well over 10 years to stop turning red and cringing with mortification when I remembered this one.

I was about 16-17 and at a Red Cross fundraising/demonstration day with my boyfriend (he was 20-21) (he was a Red Cross member). They set a car alight and had firemen there putting it out, to show how quickly it burnt etc. I was standing with two guys who were friends of BF's, but whom I had not met before, both also involved with the Red Cross and with rescues and such. I made a thoughtless and horrible throwaway comment along the lines of 'it would be more interesting if there was a person they were saving in the car'. One of the guys turned to me in all seriousness and said "If you'd ever smelled burning flesh you would never make a comment like that". I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow my immature and thoughtless little self. No more was said, but I still can't quite believe I said something so outragously stupid. 

[kingsrings]

This is someone else's, told to me. She attended her ten-year high school reunion and ran into a classmate there who had gotten pregnant by an older guy during her freshman year. She gave the baby up for adoption, and everyone knew about it. At the reunion, so many years had passed that my friend was very fuzzy on the details of what happened. All she remembered was that classmate had had a baby, and she had forgotten that the baby was given up for adoption. She proceeded to ask, "So, how is your daughter doing?". I have no idea what the classmate's response to that was.

[VorFemme]

I walked into another room where the office weighlifter had his shirt off (he was wearing an undershirt) to show off the muscle definition on his arms.  He had "bulked up" very rapidly and it showed.........he had stretch marks on his biceps.  Some of the marks were still reddish (fairly new) while others were fading to an almost white color.  Since his natural skin color was close to milk chocolate - the marks were extremely noticeable. 

I made a really idiotic remark not realizing that guys could get stretch marks, too (I was pregnant).........fortunately (for once) my voice didn't come out at top volume...............but I still cringe when I think of that.

Some people get them more easily than others - I know wonder if he was unlucky enough to have very inelastic skin. 

[EvilAlice]

Oh, I still feel bad about this and it was over 20 years ago.

I was in my 20's and had a neighbor friend who was in her 40's.  We really got along great and I admired her very much.  She didn't work so didn't really dress up much, do much with makeup etc but she was a very attractive woman.  One day just for fun she went and had a makeover at one of the cosmetic places and they really laid it on, like they do.  She was very self conscious about it but I kept telling her how great she looked.

That night we went to a mutual friend's who was kind of a techno geek.  He had a video camera set up so that it would show what it was recording on the tv.  This was very high tech space age Jetsons stuff back then.

Anyway I didn't realize he had hooked this up.  We were all talking and I looked at the tv and see these people and recognize the background and realize the image on tv is us!  I am shocked and startled by how I look on camera because it just looks nothing like how I think I look.    I loudly exclaim, "Oh, no, turn it off, I look like hell!" 

Just as I say this, my friend looks up at the image on tv.  She says very dryly, "No, that's ME."

I wanted to die.  I decided that if/when I am ever Queen of the Universe, everyone will be given maybe 3 times in life where we are allowed to just back up time for a few seconds.

[MadMadge43]

A few years back I had a co-worker who was talking on the phone to a client. She mentioned that she was going to go to the "jewview" that weekend. Everyone in the office just stopped. When she got off the phone boss went up to her and asked her why she would speak like that to anyone, much less a client.

Co-worker was completely confused  and upset, so boss finally had her spell the remark: she spelled it, jooview and no she didn't know why it was called that.

Once it was explained to her I thought she was going to cry and immediately called client back to apologize.

[Blinky]

I used to think I had a stigmatism, but the A is connected and I have an astigmatism.  Stigmatism actually means normal eyesight.

I thought the same thing! I've worn glasses for astigmatism since I was 2 1/2 years old and I always thought I had a Stigmatism.  I didn't realize my mistake until I was 30 years old - D'oh!