A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!

Hair on Fire II

(1/4) > >>

Chocolate Cake:
I thought that this "catch phrase" was deserving of it's own thread.  I hope you agree.

If you want to see me go ballastic, simply tell me that "No one can hurt your feelings without your permission."

This has got to be the most useless, assinine, and damaging phrase I've ever heard.  When a person is  emotionally close to another or if a person is dependent on someone else in some way
(such employer-employee relationship), what those people say and do will naturally cause a reaction. 

Even passing comments from strangers can cause us to be hurt or angry.  Some people just know how to push the right buttons even if they don't know you.   

We are not robots.  We feel, whether we like it or not.  That's why I find this particular phrase to be so maddening.

Discussion?

Lisbeth:
I agree with you.  It's totally dismissive of real-life people and situations and lets offenders off the hook with impunity.

It ought to be dropped from every human language forever.

RoseRose:
I agree as well.  I've been told that when I've been told something dismissive and hurtful, that I only feel bad because I LET them make me feel bad... Well, I'm sorry, my father saying something dissmissive IS going to have an effect.

The phrase (not the thread!) makes me so angry.  I'm going to get a root beer (since I don't like coke!) before saying anything else.

Cyndi:
I agree. It's especially hard to let comments roll of your back if you've been bullied about that thing so much that just when you think you can handle it, someone shoves you back to square one.

I think an equally nasty thing to say is AFTER saying that, after giving a long lecture that makes you feel smaller than an atom, they say "I'm only saying this to BUILD YOU UP. I'm not trying to make you feel bad."

caranfin:
Oh, yes, it's ridiculous. People feel the way they feel - it's not like you can control it, and decide not to be hurt. If that were possible, wouldn't we all do it, all the time, and then no one would ever have their feelings hurt?

It reminds me very much of one of my mother's pet sayings: "Just don't let it bother you," which she always used when I complained that my sister turned the stereo LOUDER when I asked her to turn it down, or some such pettiness. HUH? You mean I can just stop things from bothering me???? Boy, if I had the power to do that! Haven't eaten in 2 days? Just don't let it bother you! Leg run over by someone in a Hummer? Just don't let it bother you! Dislocated shoulder? Just don't let it bother you!

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page