How old is too old

[Evil Duckie]

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[DottyG]

LOL!  What a hoot!   "Too old" is when the hairstyle or color doesn't flatter you.  That's not a specific age; it's just a look.  If yours looks good on you and still makes you confident, it's the perfect one for you.

Actually, it sounds like a great bit of jealousy on her part.  Ignore her and just laugh at her stupidity with these comments.

You might also let her know that we're no longer in the 1800s when women had to start wearing their hair "up" at a certain age.  Maybe she hasn't seen a calendar in a while???

[minnaloushe]

Tell your friend that your hair is really none of her business, unless she was fishing for some sub-optimal things about herself she wishes you to point out to her? In which case I’m sure you could come up with lots of things.

She sounds a little jealous if you ask me, but I'm biased (and have hair I can tuck into my pants).

[HushHush]

Personally, and this is my own personal opinion, I think long hair on older women and extremely dark hair on older women tends to make them look older.  The longer hair because long hair is a style associated with young women and it kind of looks like the woman is pretending to be younger than she is which makes her look older (to me!).  The extremely dark hair because it can look too harsh next to lighter skin and brings attention to any wrinkles.  Skin also tends to change shades as women age and hair color/make-up should be adjusted accordingly.

However, these are my own personal opinions and i've certainly seen women who can pull off both of these.  But for me, I don't think i'll have long hair when I'm in my forties.  If you like the way it looks then phooey on her.

But maybe take her up on her salon offer to get a great deep conditioning treatment without anything else.  I'd go for the scalp massage alone!

Charlotte

[HogwartsAlum]

Tell her to look at Teri Hatcher on "Desperate Housewives."  She has long dark hair and she looks FABULOUS.

[Alida]

Someone sounds envious of your long dark hair!

[emeraldsage85]

Does your friend have any grey spots? You could point out that they're making her look old. 

[TZ]

The extremely dark hair because it can look too harsh next to lighter skin and brings attention to any wrinkles. 

It does!?  I am only 25.  My hair is naturally jet black, and my skin is very, very pale.  I have always assumed that, when I'm older, I will look better than many of my friends because I have never laid out or tanned, while they lay out in the sun for hours every day.

My mom always said that women over 40 should not have long hair.  She has taken back that statement in recent years because, although I am not yet 40, I'm the type of person that only looks good when my hair is past my shoulders.  Short hair looks terrible on me, and I certainly won't get an unflattering haircut because of some arbitrary number.  That said, I have seen some older women who look terrible with long hair.    It really depends on the individual.  At the last wedding I went to, the MOB had Paris Hilton-esque hair extensions that would have looked good on a teenager.  On her, it looked a little Baby Jane.

[ChristiKayAnn]

She wants you to color your naturally dark hair? What's up with that? How could you ever be too old for your hair to be it's natural color? Length should totally be a personal preference issue.

I prefer my hair short because it is easier for me to care for but when I was at a job with a strict no hair on the collar rule I preferred it long as long hair is actually easier for me to keep off of my collar than short because my hair grows so fast (about 1 inch per month) and I would need a hair cut every 4 weeks to keep it off my collar.

Your friend needs to keep her (negative) opinions to herself.

[Chocolate Cake]

It's hard to say whether your friend is right or not since we can't see a picture of you.  

Some women in their 40's and 50's (Terri Hatcher, Sela Ward, Jaclyn Smith, the actress who played Wonder Woman) look fantastic with long dark hair.   It all depends on your body shape, condition and color of your skin, your facial shape, etc. on whether you can pull it off.  

One woman I know in her 40's has short black hair and she really ought to lighten up the color because, even though it looked great when she was younger, the shade along with her skin color and tone make her look about 10 years older.  I also think her hair needs to be a bit longer also because it's now too hard/harsh of a cut for her at this age.
 

[hellgirl]

But if long hair doesn't look good on older woman how am I going to achieve the grandma' bun that I want when my hair gets grayer? 

I've been looking forward to that bun for years!

[TZ]

But if long hair doesn't look good on older woman how am I going to achieve the grandma' bun that I want when my hair gets grayer? 

I've been looking forward to that bun for years!

Yes!  And if I'm ever sick, I want the long braids like they have in old movies

[freakyfemme]

That's nuts.  There is NO way I'm going to get my hair cut short or put in an updo when I turn 30, and I'm a classical musician, so I already *know* I have to make certain compromises with my appearance--I have to keep myself in reasonably good physical condition (for both aesthetic and practical reasons, since playing the clarinet is a physical activity), I can't dye my hair any colour that doesn't grow naturally on human heads (not that I'd want to, my hair has natural highlights that I don't want to mess with), I can't have excessive make-up, tattoos, or body piercings (fine by one, tattoos hurt, one hole in each ear is enough, and I hate having too much gunk on my face anyway), but when the time comes, I absolutely cannot and will not force myself to succumb to The Perm that so many older women feel they "have" to wear in order to be considered "socially acceptable."

[Suze]

I used to have waist length hair - I looked in the mirror one day and said to self -- self, you look like you are 10 years older than you really are. (I'm 47)

Went and got it cut short short, and while there are times that I regret it (I love the feel of my hair on my skin)  but I love the fact that it doesn't take all day to dry.

as long as YOU feel good in your hair -- tell "friend" to get a life and worry about something else.

And WHY in the world would you want to dye it just to make someone else happy.  That's just buying into the cookie cutter fashion world.  I probably will never dye my hair - it grows too fast.

I am what I am
Why change to suit someone else

[Alida]

Oh - and should I go dye my hair again since I'm nearing 40 (I'm 37)...

though I've been dying it for so long that when I got it all cut off and left just my natural near-black, I went in to train and my instructor thought I'd dyed it   "Nope, this is just the natural color you HAVEN'T seen yet."