You Broke My Menorah???? (Dresser Queen I think I Hate You)

[Warbaby]

Marina, I just looked at the website that has your menorah.  It is really a beautiful work of art and I am so sorry that yours got broken.

From what you wrote in your original post about DQ "dropping it several times in the garage", my gut instinct is that this was a deliberate, malicious act by a person who is most likely deranged.  I will have to second the other posters who have told you to document all these incidents and make sure that both the police and the HOA are fully aware of them.

The fact that she opened the package also bothers me.  Could it be that she had no intention of returning whatever it was until she opened it and found a religious symbol?  And when she found the menorah, decided that, if she had to give it to you, she would destroy it first? 

Sorry, but what you have told us just raises a lot of suspicions in my mind (not about you, about her and her intentions/actions).

I would also severely limit any contact with this person even to the extent of getting a restraining order against her. 

[gjcva1]

DQ definitely has cobwebs in the windmills of her mind.

[wheeitsme]

I think she saw the package, wanted to know what was in it, and then dropped it so she had an excuse to open it.

While I would hate to think ill of another person, this seems that it would be a believable scenario for this person.  I don't think that there was direct malice aforethought. Especially in regards to anti-semitic feelings.

[Hijinks]

Not all of that lady's dogs are barkin'

The wheel's spinning but the hamster's missing?
She's a few ants short of a picnic?
A few geeks short of a Star Trek convention?

She's a few fries short of a Happy Meal?
She went to the well once too often?
The runway's a little too short for takeoff?

A few beers shy of a six-pack.

I agree with pp's that she is just overwhelmingly nosy and couldn't bear the suspense, so she "oops" dropped it and then had to check to make sure it was ok.

I wonder why, if it was so heavy, she couldn't just leave it in her garage with the door closed, until Marina got home.

[kherbert05]

I respectfully disagree that DQ acted out of anti-Semitic feelings. I think she saw the package, wanted to know what was in it, and then dropped it so she had an excuse to open it.

At any rate, she has essentialy stolen and destroyed your personal property, admitted it to you, and it's now time to involve the HOA and the police.

Even if she is trying to be friendly in some strange, socially dysfunctional way, as others have suggested, I think a strong approach (utilizing the police, etc) is best, because you want her to have no doubt that her actions were unacceptable and are to never happen again.

and now a note from Evil Miss Charlotte: does anyone else feel the desire to plan an elaborate "lesson" (a' la Arrested Development) for DQ???

I agree this is very likely.

[Lisbeth]

I'm so sorry.  I think you definitely need to report Dresser Queen to the HOA and the police.

Dresser Queen had no business taking the menorah, so that makes what she did theft, and then she carelessly broke it.

Also, you should notify the company that sent you the menorah and let them know that 1) it was delivered to an unauthorized person and 2) it was broken as a consequence.  You may have legal action against them if they don't replace your menorah at no cost to you.

[housewife2k]

DresserQueen did nothing wrong in taking the package, since the delivery driver gave it to her, unless of course, she cajoled him into doing so. If it was a case of "I'm Marina's best friend, I always take her packages for her" then that's different.
DQ did wrong in not notifying Marina immediately that she had possesion of the package. She did wrong in repeatedly dropping it, and she did wrong by opening it, since it wasn't adressed to her.
If she dropped it on accident, and was worried about the possibilaty of having broken it, her best bet would have been to keep the box closed. Why? If it's broken in the box, it cannot be proved that she broke it with a bad intent. The box could be examined, but that's it. by opening it, she can no longer claim that she did not know it was broken, or, for that matter, that it was an accident.

Marina-the best way to know if it was broken in the box, look at the packaging. Are there glass fragments in teh packaging? If it is anything but a perfectly clean break, there should be glass in the packing material, and the wrapping around the glass should be torn in allignment with the break.

Can you tell I jsut got out of a law class? Even in medical law, we still cover non medical things!

[Phoebe]

The driver called me and told me one of my nice neighbors offered to take it inside her unit so it wouldn't be harmed or stolen outside.

I've not read all of the posts on this thread, but I have noticed more than one that accuses DQ of theft.  I'm not commenting at all on the rest of the situation, but she did not steal this package.  The delivery company admitted giving it to her.  Delivery companies do this all the time.  She didn't deny having it.  It's hardly fair to brand her a thief.

[Warbaby]

The driver called me and told me one of my nice neighbors offered to take it inside her unit so it wouldn't be harmed or stolen outside.

I've not read all of the posts on this thread, but I have noticed more than one that accuses DQ of theft.  I'm not commenting at all on the rest of the situation, but she did not steal this package.  The delivery company admitted giving it to her.  Delivery companies do this all the time.  She didn't deny having it.  It's hardly fair to brand her a thief.

I think the reasoning there is that she had the package and made no effort to go to Marina and let her know she had it.  Instead Marina had to track the package down.  While not to the point of calling her a thief, it does make me highly suspicious of her motives.

[Camarynne]

I've only read the first 5 pages so far but I just had to say this.

Even if she IS mentally ill or unstable, or has a physical problem which is causing her to act in such bizarre ways, that still doesn't excuse behavior like this. A lot of you read my post a few months back about my problems, and even I, a person scared of the "Paper or Plastic" question at the grocery store, would have brought the package to you UNOPENED had I taken it from the delivery driver, and if I had dropped it I would have been begging forgiveness and offering to find a way to pay you back.

She does sound like something is not ok with her, at least that's the feeling I get, but even mentally ill people, if they live alone and take care of their own money and things, have to be responsible. I can't stand it when people try to use it as an excuse or as a way to give themselves permission to behave in any way that they want to. Yes there are people who can NOT be held responsible for things, but they should be under the care of someone who can.

I think what I'm trying to say is watch out for this one, she's probably going to get worse. Make it very, very clear to her what the boundaries are and that she has crossed one. I wouldn't try to be nice as she'll see that as permission to invade your life even more and you'll find yourself alllll wrapped up in crazy.

[bopper]

I am not sure if somebody mentioned this yet, but if the people you bought it from won't let you get another, then if you used a credit card they often have protection regarding situations like this.

[Gambitgirl]

that menorah was beautiful. 

since DQ admitted she "dropped it a couple of times" it seems to me she did it on purpose and wanted you to know.

Evil Gambit is out and i can't shove her back in the closet!!! this is not etiquette approved and def.wrong...but if it was me and my neighbor it would be all our WAR.

i would get a freaking lawyer to send her a notice you are taking her to small claims court for the cost of the menorah, b/c that was definitely not cheap! i would also get the lawyer to talk to the delivery driver, who can vouch the package wasn't mangled and taped when he dropped it off. a menorah like that would have been packaged very carefully to protect it. DQ broke it on purpose...i would so make it my life's mission to make her miserable.

wrong, mean, petty i know...but Evil Gambit is in full effect.

what a freaking horrible person!!! 

[Audrey Quest]

I have extensive legal experience...  watching The People's Court.   ;DOK, I am a hack.  But, I think the neighbor is liable for the damages she caused.  She admitted to dropping it "several times" and that shows a lack of care.
 
If you accept something from a delivery company you bear a liability for it and you have to take reasonable care that it does not get damaged.  If you don't want to take on this liability then you don't accept packages for other people.  She didn't have to take the package and given the situation of her harrassing you, I don't think it would go well for her in court.
 
Sorry if this advice is redundant.  I tried to make my way through all the pages but there are a lot.

[JoyinVirginia]

Marina,
Dresser Queen and this story makes me think of a news story from a few years back - I think it was in Roanoke. An older lady, late 60s I think, was taking mail from multiple neighbor's mailboxes. whether it was dementia or some other type of mental disorder, I am not sure, but i do remember the judge sentenced her to house arrest and psychiatric treatment, and put her on something like ten years probationm so if she did anything similar while on probation she faced a number of years in jail.
DQ just sounds a little ... "off". So do be sure HOA office knows about this. I will bet you are not the only neighbor that she will have some sort of incident with before the holidays are over.
joy in Virginia

[jimithing]

Marina,
Dresser Queen and this story makes me think of a news story from a few years back - I think it was in Roanoke. An older lady, late 60s I think, was taking mail from multiple neighbor's mailboxes. whether it was dementia or some other type of mental disorder, I am not sure, but i do remember the judge sentenced her to house arrest and psychiatric treatment, and put her on something like ten years probationm so if she did anything similar while on probation she faced a number of years in jail.
DQ just sounds a little ... "off". So do be sure HOA office knows about this. I will bet you are not the only neighbor that she will have some sort of incident with before the holidays are over.
joy in Virginia

I think that having DQ on house arrest would be the least desirable outcome possible!  This is where the scene of the crimes occur!