You Broke My Menorah???? (Dresser Queen I think I Hate You)

[NOVA Lady]

I am FURIOUS right now....I really need to definitely calm down before I act on this situation.

Last year we had an "incident" involved a cat, a tablecloth, the sharp corner of a chair and our Hanukkah Menorah where we needed to purchase a new one. This year I finally tracked down the type that we were replacing and purchased it and it should have been delivered yesterday. It was this menorah if anyone is curious http://www.judaism.com/display.asp?nt=bZcacdej&etn=IGBGE&cdo=chabadalexandria.org and I was very excited about getting it because the first night is not far off.

Well, while I was away from home yesterday it was delivered. I looked online and it said it was delivered....but alas, I did not have a package. I called the delivery company, and was told that it was delivered but she would call the driver and have him call me. The driver called me and told me one of my nice neighbors offered to take it inside her unit so it wouldn't be harmed or stolen outside. When questioned about which neighbor it was it became apparent that it was none other then the Dresser Queen. (I am going to leave out the part about how furious I was the delivery company just let some unauthorized person take it inside their apartment because that really isn't the big issue here).

So I go over to her unit early in the evening and she doesn't answer the door (I tried on 3 different occasions.... between 5pm and 7pm after which I went out). This morning I went over there (about 20 minutes ago) and she answered the door.

After a quick exchange she heaved my box off of the floor and it sounded like there was something broken in there oh and it was obviously taped back together.

Me: Did this package come this way?
DQ: Well it is a little heavy so when I took it back to my place I accidentally dropped it a few times in the garage, so I opened it to see if it was OK...and it mostly is.
Me: Mostly??? ::::as I put the box down and open it (again) to see that it is no longer usable as a Menorah:::::
Me: You broke this!
DQ: Well, I am sure they'll ship you a new one...it could have broken during shipping.
Me: But it didn't!!!!!! Theres no more time to get a replacement before I need this!!!!
DQ: Well, I don't know what to tell you...I was trying to do you a favor :::closes door in my face::::



WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH what am I going to do for a Menorah? I was unable to hunt down anywhere locally where I could buy one. I filed a claim for the Menorah in that it really IS the shipping company's fault that I didn't get the package intact, and the store where I bought it from is being wonderful. So I will have it for next year. But that leaves me more then a little out of luck for this year.

I want to light the candles and celebrate the holiday.....I guess I can make a tinfoil menorah. I don't even know what to say to her.

[Bunbury22]

that is absolutely horrible. I am so sorry you have to deal with this woman, sometimes the stories are amusing but this one just completely crossed the line. I hope you find something you like to have for at least this year. 

[PeterM]

I want to light the candles and celebrate the holiday.....I guess I can make a tinfoil menorah. I don't even know what to say to her.

The first thing you say to both her and the shipping company is "Don't EVER do that again."

This sucks, and I'm sorry.

[Sterling]

Since she reported you for having a tree outside you house I would call and report her for taking packages that don't belong to her.  I would make sure there is a record with the HOA about this.  From what you have said before I wonder if she did it on purpose.

[behindbj]

You know how I said that I would have said something to her about the work coming that would have blocked the cars?

Forget I ever said that.

Screw her.  Honestly - if I had ever picked up a package for a neighbor (which I would not do unless asked or there was some sort of emergency or something) and broke what was in it - I'd be mortified and would have already looked into replacing it posthaste, along with being the one to try and contact said neighbor, not waiting until they figured out I had the package.

Honestly - to break something is one thing.  To be a complete and utter ignorant moron is quite another.

behindbj

[VorFemme]

The Menorah is gorgeous............

Is there any way to report the driver for giving the package to a neighbor when it was THAT pricey/important an item (religious connection)? 

What about reporting the incident to the police? 

As to what to say to her - I suggest presenting her with "the cold shoulder" from now on - talking to her just gives her another chance to get your goat.

Snarky and Evil VorFemme have some ideas - but they are not appropriate for an etiquette site.........perhaps a site for practical jokers.......or juvenile delinquents.........but we are both too old to qualify as juvenile delinquents.............

Is it possible to have the broken menorah dusted for Dresser Queen's fingerprints - to prove that she opened the package without regard for it not being addressed/sent to HER?

Edited to add - report it to the police, the HOA, and the delivery company so that there is a record of the incident.  Then get with the delivery company to make very sure that they never leave it with anyone but you ever again.  Ask the police if there is any way to make Dresser Queen pay for the item that she appears to have broken deliberately/vandalized.  Let the HOA know that there are issues with the mentally unbalanced woman who lives next to you (based on her activities that have been reported to them and the police) and that there might be issues with liability of the HOA if the woman continues to reside alone, without a caretaker, to keep an eye on her and RESTRAIN her worst impulses..............

It is horrible that someone who is displaying warning signs like this can't have a health evaluation BEFORE someone is hurt.  And her disregard for others makes me wary that someone will get hurt, sooner or later by DQ doing something.  (I'm thinking that she'll get mixed up as to which pedal is the brake and which is the gas or have it in drive instead of reverse when she hits the gas pedal - there is a hamburger place down Hwy 6 from my husband's work place where a car went through the wall and into the bathroom when something like that happened.  I have no idea of the age of the driver - could have been a high school student, an elderly person, or just someone in too big a hurry to CHECK what they were doing.)

[cicero]

oh my gosh - huge huge hugs!! as a quick 'fix' - just buy some of those tea candle holders (the cute little glass cups) - get eight identical and one bigger one. like this http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=sc_qi_detailbutton/601-3271243-6261746?&page=1&index=target&rh=k%3acandle%20holders&asin=B000SBKF6U

or if there is a judaica store or chabad house near you, just get a small cheap one and pretty candles. would you like me to mail a cheap one to you? they sell them all over here.

I'm glad the store will reimburse you, and for the future make sure that any deliveries you order will hand it over to you or your DH ONLY. no neighbors.

Gad that woman is plain psycho, this is beyond mean or annoying.

[hollasa]

Oh, and it was so beautiful too! I just love glass art.

Would this help as a replacement? Would the shipping company be able to comp you something for something you could use this year?
http://www.sunset.com/sunset/home/article/0,20633,1554131,00.html

Well it is a little heavy so when I took it back to my place I accidentally dropped it a few times in the garage, so I opened it to see if it was OK...and it mostly is.

I'm still going to go with trying to be helpful/friendly but inept at it. How completely aggravating, I would be livid, at least to begin with.

I'd probably go back, or write her a little note, saying that you appreciate her trying to help (stress the appreciation in the interests of neighborhood), but you were so sad and disappointed that your beautiful menorah broke so that you can't use it for this year, given how close the first night is. And then wish her a Happy Hanukkah.

The worse possible scenario is that she purposely broke it because it was a Menorah - do you think this is at all likely?

[lamorevincera]

I'd try this... call the menorah company and explain what happened - maybe they can overnight you a replacement, and it SHOULD be at the shipping company's expense. You may have to pay for it now and then fight the shipping company to get reimbursed. (You'll probably have much more luck getting money from the shipping company than you will DQ.)

Don't let this go - the shipping company guy should not have done that under ANY circumstances, and his bosses should absolutely know what happened.

As for DQ, who is earning words that aren't OK for this website, you might want to just make sure for the next while that if someone is shipping you something, that they know to absolutely NOT deliver to ANYONE but you. (Not that they shouldn't already know!!)

I'm so sorry this happened.

[Aeris]

1) call company you bought it from. Demand new one, as their shipper messed this up bigtime.
2) call HOA. Report.
3) call Police. Report.

[ShadesOfGrey]

I am FURIOUS right now....I really need to definitely calm down before I act on this situation.

(I am going to leave out the part about how furious I was the delivery company just let some unauthorized person take it inside their apartment because that really isn't the big issue here).

It is the big issue here - as mad as you are about dresser queen (and you should be), remember that you are probably viewing this through the lens of not liking her in the first place.  Not that her unapologetic attitude helps at all...

Definitely continue to take it up with the company where you bought the product - they should have an easier time dealing with the shipping company than you will.  In general, I wouldnt get on the Driver's back about it 1. for fear of future shipments, but also because she's probably already getting it from her boss... I'd just write a letter asking them not to deliver to your neighbors, that you'd rather pick it up, etc. etc. (sent certified, of course). 

And I agree with Sterling:

Since she reported you for having a tree outside you house I would call and report her for taking packages that don't belong to her.  I would make sure there is a record with the HOA about this.  From what you have said before I wonder if she did it on purpose.

Not out of spite, but just to have it on record for any future "mishaps"...

[NOVA Lady]

oh my gosh - huge huge hugs!! as a quick 'fix' - just buy some of those tea candle holders (the cute little glass cups) - get eight identical and one bigger one. like this http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=sc_qi_detailbutton/601-3271243-6261746?&page=1&index=target&rh=k%3acandle%20holders&asin=B000SBKF6U

or if there is a judaica store or chabad house near you, just get a small cheap one and pretty candles. would you like me to mail a cheap one to you? they sell them all over here.

I'm glad the store will reimburse you, and for the future make sure that any deliveries you order will hand it over to you or your DH ONLY. no neighbors.

Gad that woman is plain psycho, this is beyond mean or annoying.

Thank you for all of the suggestions

There actually is a local Chabad.....but I didn't know there was an actual store/place I thought it was just Orthodox education.

This got me thinking though, I wonder if there is a local temple with a small gift store that might have something.

Thank you for getting me over my initial ARRRGH WHAT DO I DO? into problem solving mod.

I guess I just feel silly for being so disappointed. And you are so kind to offer sending one I wish they sold them all over here!

[LadyClaire]

That is a really, really beautiful menorah. I'm so sorry that your horrible, malicious, evil cow of a neighbor broke it.

I agree with the others. Raise holy h-e-double hockeysticks about this. Call the HOA. Call the shipping company. Don't let it go. The evil woman probably did it on purpose.

[i am le tired]

Definitely report her to the HOA for theft. She took something that did not belong to her. And then broke it. Too bad it wasn't the USPS or I bet you could file a complaint for mail fraud.

[alegria]

I second the previous poster - call the menorah company and have them OVERNIGHT you a new one, preferably with signature required.  Can you receive personal packages at work?  If not, is there a close friend or neighbor who is home during the day that you can send the package to with "MarinaDCA c/o Awesome Neighbor"?

I would also report this to the HOA and to the police.  This is beyond "normal" neighborly bickering, this woman STOLE from you and BROKE what she stole.  Personally, I'd be suspicious of her even more because it was a menorah that was broken, unless she is Jewish herself.  This woman is out to get you - please, try your best to not let her do so.

That is a beautiful object, and doubly so for the religious significance.  I am sorry DQ did this to you.