I'm a little nervy about doing that. She hasn't made any comments to the guy who's coming in. And she's stopped complaining about foreigners once I pointed out I was foreign.
But I'm afraid that if I mention it to the Boss and they have a meeting she'll just get mad at me and I have to work very closely with this woman on a daily basis. If she's upset with me it will affect my work enviroment.
The thing with the size comment was i could tell she really didn't see how that was hurtful.
Still was though.
Most of the time we get on great it's just this little blips that make me feel like my brain has just run out my ears.
Then, what you do is calmly, yet assertively, say to her, "Martha Sue, when you make comments like you just about XYZ, it's hurtful to people. Please don't do this, as it's not a kind thing to do."
You address it AT the time she says it (ie, better not to bring up something she's done in the past now) and you don't get emotional about it. You just be assertive and convey that this is not acceptable.
If you've done this, and she continues, you can go to HR. And, if she gets angry at you for that, she really has no one to blame but herself. You've stated very clearly that this was a hurtful thing to say. She disregarded it. You've had to go a bit higher up on the chain. (And, when you go higher up, you also don't act emotional. You are matter-of-fact and calm then, too.)
Some people's brain filter needs a jolt at times. If this is all it is, you've helped her see the error of her ways. If it's truly malicious on her part, you've taken the proper steps to fix it.
You're already in an environment that's affecting your work negatively. Otherwise, you wouldn't be posting here about it. You need to take constructive steps to do something about it now.
