Updated additions/changes to the Forum Rules as of the 06/04/2012 update are noted in red. The Rules of The Forum
By registering to join this forum and have posting privileges, you are entering into an agreement to abide by the rules of this forum. If you do not believe you can honor the rules, please refrain from registering. Dissatisfaction with the rules or moderation after registering is best handled by either privately and politely messaging a moderator with your concerns or simply leaving the forum. General Conduct
]This forum is about etiquette. This forum cannot be all things to all people therefore discussions regarding a poster's problems with sex, criminal activity, medical advice or legal matters are generally not germane and such threads will be closed. As stated further in the forum rules, moderators have no obligation to explain why they have taken the moderating action they have so if you publish a thread wanting to know why your thread was closed or demanding an explanation from the moderators or complaining about moderation, you are creating unnecessary drama and you will be banned from the forum. The moderators are often quite receptive to polite, PRIVATE questions asked to further understanding of the actions taken but they are busy people who may not have time to answer every question.
Before creating a new thread, have you considered several things? Like, have you explained your situation fully so we don’t find out important but left out details 300 messages into the thread? Or, are you seeking validation for your rude behavior?
Think before you reply to a post and ask yourself if you are: 1) focusing on the topic, 2) being helpful in your response, 3) Am I about to be deliberately offensive?, 4) Am I taking up an offense too easily? If you don’t have anything productive to say, don’t bother saying it.
Speaking of positive, productive topics, threads created solely for the purpose of venting or ranting rarely fulfill the criteria for productive content on the forum. Posts that merely vent, rant or "blow off steam" without the earnest seeking of the etiquette involved do not add anything positive to the forum but rather start to poison it with negativity. Eventually this atmosphere dissuades the more productive, positive posters from reading or posting and the quality of the forum declines. The moderators will take action to close these threads, remove them and possibly gag or ban the original poster.
While most of the Off-Topic folders are limited to registered members, the forum is on the public internet and there cannot be an expectation that what is written here, stays here. Users should remember to use common sense when posting.
It's one thing to discuss the rude behaviors of a general group of people but when the topic seques to stories of either how someone was one-on-one rude with a telemarketer, customer service rep, client, neighbor, etc in RL or encouraging people to be rude, that's an entirely different issue which cannot be condoned on this forum.
The moderating team expects to treat the members like adults and that means not dumbing down the rules to the lowest common denominator explaining why basic civility is important to the health and well-being of this forum. Please consider that exposing yourself as a rude boor in a forum inhabited by etiquette lovers is an open invitation for people to comment on your behavior. The Nitty Gritty Rules Content No-Nos:
You cannot post illegal material in either your profile, your sig file or your posts such as copyrighted material that is not yours, pornography, nudity and semi-nudity, spam, sexually explicit talk, advertising, malicious code, anyone’s personal information or to harass the moderators/admin.
It has been a very longstanding and previously unwritten policy of the forum owner that anyone bringing trouble to the forum will be automatically banned. "Trouble" is defined as, 1) making a post on Ehell linking to another forum, mentioning them by specific name or hinting in such a way that it is obvious who or what forum is being referred to for critical commentary. General references are OK (example: "A wedding planning board I use to post at.....") 2) Posting trash talk in other forums or blogs that directs or points unwelcome "visitors" to harass the Ehell forum or encourages a forum war in any way. "Unwelcome visitors" can include disgruntled forum members participating in other sites.
There is a word filter to catch vulgarity and foul language. It’s there for a reason and trying to circumvent it with cutesy derivatives of curse words like, “F*@k you” "ST*U", butt, will be edited and probably you removed, too.
Because monstrously huge sigs terribly inconvenience our members on dial-up, sig size is restricted in size to 400 pixels by 170 pixels or less. Video sig files are not permitted.
Politics and religion: Discussions on politics and religion are not typically germane to this forum. The caveat to this rule is when discussions of politics or religious beliefs or practices can illuminate other people's understanding of different religions and cultures so that tolerance is promoted. However, most political comments fail to meet that standard so it is probably best to not get political at all. When discussing etiquette as it relates to politics or religion, the more general the better. Specific rants about specific politicians, political parties or religions are not permitted on the forum.
When discussing situations or topics that *could* involve specific references to religions, denominations, religious leaders, political parties, specific politicians, election results, divisive social/cultural issues, it is incumbent upon members to make these references as general as possible. In other words, if you choose to participate in a thread with a reference to politics , none of your fellow members should be aware of what your political preferences or opinions are. This will keep these potentially volatile subjects on topic to the issue of etiquette.
There will be no threads discussing conflicts between specific different faiths because they always devolve into debates over religion which are off topic to this forum. The main etiquette issue is how to handle differences of opinion regarding religion which does not require a debate on the theological merits of each religion. Discussions on how to resolve etiquette dilemmas in the context of religion are acceptable, i.e. "I'm a non-Catholic bridesmaid. How do I not take communion when it is offered during the wedding mass?"
The decision as to whether a political or religious thread is appropriate or not lies with the moderators. Political sigs and political nicknames are also forbidden. If you registered with the ID of "PoliticalPartyXSucksTwinkies", oh, well....it looks like you won't be posting on Ehell. The Etiquette Hell Blog exists to provide a specific venue for the discussion of politics and religion.
Sexual etiquette: This is not the forum for these discussions. There are other forums better suited for seeking advice on issues regarding sex. We do not want to know how many sex partners you have had or currently have, what your sexual escapades are or were, or anything else pertaining to your personal sexual experiences.
Sensational news stories are not typically germane to the topic of etiquette and thus are not usually allowed unless a good link to etiquette can be made. Don't confuse criminal behavior with plain old rude and tacky behavior.
The "Off Topic" folders are not "free-for-all" zones where the forum are suspended. The forum rules apply to all folders, topics and posts of the forum. Everything in this forum is in the context of etiquette including venting. No one should view this forum as a venting place devoid of any reference to etiquette. In other words, venting, when it does occur here, should be accompanied by a desire to apply the proper etiquette to the situation.
We do not typically publish who has been gagged or banned out of respect for the fact that 1) sometimes mistakes are made and need to be corrected, 2) people do apologize, the matter is settled and they go on as if nothing had happened, and 3) I feel it is important to give people the dignity of a quiet exit even if they choose to not go quietly. Besides, it is none of your business. If it were your business, you'd know who was moderated because you had a friendship with them outside of the forum. A public demand to expose those who are gagged or banned will result in being gagged yourself from participating on the forum for a set period of time. About the Moderators:
The Ehell mods are hardworking, unpaid volunteers with integrity working to keep the forum safe, secure and sane. If a moderator asks you to do something, just do it. If you don’t like the moderators, the forum owner, or the way this forum is moderated, please don’t register and post. It should go without saying that adults know how to walk away quietly from forums they dislike whereas children rant and leave Good Bye Cruel Forum posts. Irritating People:
Someone, sometime in this forum will annoy the bejeebers out of you. Adults will try to resolve it first in Private Messaging or email, children have spats on the forum that can get one or both parties gagged or banned. Mods are not here to play Mother to people who will not exercise self control in mentally ignoring irritating people. And we really don’t want to know who you have placed on “Ignore”. Scritzy's Coke Rule applies:
Scritzy’s Coke Rule:
1. If a post annoys me, count to ten before replying.
2. If a post angers me, count to a hundred.
3. If a post infuriates me, shut down the computer and drink Coke.
And btw, Scritzy’s Coke Rule was originally meant to be applied quietly to oneself, without announcing your reaction that you'll soon be imbibing.
Opinions expressed on the Etiquette Hell forum may not represent the opinions and positions of Jeanne Hamilton or EtiquetteHell.com. Reserved Rights:
Etiquettehell.com and its affiliates reserve the right, in their sole discretion, to edit, refuse to post or remove any material submitted to or posted on the forum. We also reserve the right to gag and/or ban people deemed to be unedifying to the health of the forum and not feel any obligation to explain why. Either you trust that the moderators of this forum are acting with its best interests in mind by way of majority consensus or you don’t trust them. If the latter, please refrain from registering for an account.Grant of Rights:
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, you automatically grant, or warrant that the owner of such content has expressly granted, Jeanne Hamilton the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive and fully sublicensable right and license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt,publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform and display such Content (in whole or part) worldwide and/or to incorporate it in other works in any form, media, or technology now known or later developed.
Essentially, this is legalese allowing Etiquette Hell LLC's owner, Jeanne , to correct typos/spelling, protect copyright of the web site under one legal entity, to release edited (no names) stories to print news media and to cover her backside in case you used your story to libel someone else or stole someone’s copyrighted material as your own. There are no plans for any future books based on Etiquettehell.com.
Members who post to the Ehell forum retain their copyright but grant a non-exclusive license implied by context to others to forward any message posted within EtiquetteHell.com's forum. They also grant the forum owner permission to maintain an archive or approve the archiving of forum messages.
WARNING: Jeanne Hamilton or any other administrative personnel reserves the right to use any e-mail or forum private message you send to me or others as an (rare) example of the stupid things people send via e-mail and forum private messages.
If you do not agree with these copyright grants, do not post content of any kind to any part of EtiquetteHell.com or its sister sites such as www.WeddingHellsBells.com.