s/o of Homemade Christmas Stockings- updated on second page

[Evil Duckie]

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[jimithing]

My MIL made me one, and I was very happy. It made me feel wanted.

I think that you should get her her own.  Making her share may make her feel like she's not actually part of the family.  You don't even need to make her one.  Just buy one with her initial on it.  Target sells them for $10. 

[bopper]

Does the stocking for your DS have his name on it?  if not, put her little gifts in their.  My Stepmom has "couples stockings" for us.  My MIL has individual stockings for everybody.  I am cool either way.

[Just Lori]

There's nothing wrong with buying her a nice, generic stocking for your mantle.  You made the stockings when your children were little.  That was years ago.

As long as you didn't make each son a socking after he was married and presented it without a matching one for the spouse, I think yo'u're fine.

[purplemuse]

ITA with the person who said you should get her her own.

And while I don't know anything about her, I think if she's a decent person, she wouldn't be hurt or offended by a store-bought stocking.  I've seen some really pretty ones at JC Penney for (I think) $4.99-- not personalized, but really nice looking.

[Shores]

Get her something, whether its homemade or storebought, but don't leave her out or just stick somethign in your son's stocking. Last night was our Sinterklaas celebration with DF's family. Everyone gets a gift and writes a poem for another person (we draw names). I was the only person who did not get a poem and whose gift was (obviously) NOWHERE near the set limit for gifts (ofc I understand that saying "no more than 25 euros" doesnt mean you have to spend 25, but getting a present that cost less than 5 and was completely generic when you spent so much time and effort on your gift and poem stings).

DF's mom brushed it off, saying that DF's grandma didn't know what to write, but it was pretty hurtful that after 18 months of knowing each other, she couldn't jot down even 2 lines for me to read aloud (its a BIG part of the holiday) and I couldn't help but feel that if it had been a "real" family member, she would have tried harder or someone else would have written something to make up for it. A lot of the people had 2 or 3 poems written to them and I just had to sit there. It really makes you feel left out.

I got over it (ok, I WILL get over it. It was just last night ) but I will never spend the amount of effort that I did this year (over a week building this intricate huge paper mache perfume bottle and almost a month working on writing a poem completely in Dutch) again.

[ettacat]

When my boys were little I made them each a crossed stitched stocking (I made them while pregnant with each of them). They look very cute and professional, the boys love them. These 3 stocking are the only ones they have ever had and the only ones we hang. I never got around to making stockings for DH or me.

Well this year DS#1 is engaged and I am feeling a bit guilty about not wanting to make FDIL a stocking.

I am wondering if having her and DS#1 share his stocking is fine or should I go and find a stocking for her and personalize it?

Would it bother you to share a Christmas stocking at your ILs?

I don't want her to feel like a second class member, but at the same time I really don't feel like making or adding more stockings.

My mom added a stocking for my husband and it was a big hit! But, we were already married.

No one says you should have to sit and cross-stitch another one, but I think that if you are going to hang stockings, she should be included.

Sometimes we do things, not for our own comfort, but for the sake of harmony and making others feel good.

Just my two cents. Feel free to make change.

[jimithing]

When my boys were little I made them each a crossed stitched stocking (I made them while pregnant with each of them). They look very cute and professional, the boys love them. These 3 stocking are the only ones they have ever had and the only ones we hang. I never got around to making stockings for DH or me.

Well this year DS#1 is engaged and I am feeling a bit guilty about not wanting to make FDIL a stocking.

I am wondering if having her and DS#1 share his stocking is fine or should I go and find a stocking for her and personalize it?

Would it bother you to share a Christmas stocking at your ILs?

I don't want her to feel like a second class member, but at the same time I really don't feel like making or adding more stockings.

Sometimes we do things, not for our own comfort, but for the sake of harmony and making others feel good.

ITA.  I think that this is a situation where the benefits can greatly outweigh the costs.

I don't know how you feel about her or your relationship with her, but this small act can go a long way to make her feel welcomed, loved, and part of the family.

[twinkletoes]

When my boys were little I made them each a crossed stitched stocking (I made them while pregnant with each of them). They look very cute and professional, the boys love them. These 3 stocking are the only ones they have ever had and the only ones we hang. I never got around to making stockings for DH or me.

Well this year DS#1 is engaged and I am feeling a bit guilty about not wanting to make FDIL a stocking.

I am wondering if having her and DS#1 share his stocking is fine or should I go and find a stocking for her and personalize it?

Would it bother you to share a Christmas stocking at your ILs?

I don't want her to feel like a second class member, but at the same time I really don't feel like making or adding more stockings.

Sometimes we do things, not for our own comfort, but for the sake of harmony and making others feel good.

ITA.  I think that this is a situation where the benefits can greatly outweigh the costs.

I don't know how you feel about her or your relationship with her, but this small act can go a long way to make her feel welcomed, loved, and part of the family.

I agree with the above.

My husband started spending Christmas with my family when we had been together about two years (we weren't even engaged at the time).  My parents have "Mr and Mrs"-type stockings, and my sister and I have stockings that my mom handstitched for us when we were small.  My parents adore my husband, and of course they wanted him to feel welcome, so they got him a nice stocking.  It doesn't have his name, but it's not a cheap "made out of poor quality materials and probably won't last the Christmas season" type.  It didn't cost much - probably less than $10 - but it went a LONG way to making him feel welcome.

[twinkletoes]

"Really, you have to look at the long-term benefits to your relationship with your DIL.
Do you not want to maker her one because you don't like her? Or because it's a lot of work?"

I disagree that the OP has to *make* her DIL a stocking.  Especially if she's like my mom, and the last time she cross-stitched anything was two decades ago - the results could be less than desirable.

I do think she should have a stocking for the DIL - get one with her initials, or in a favorite color.  But I think she should have *something*.

[daybarb]

All this talk about counted cross stitch makes me want to go dig out my supplies!

[dawbs]

I'm w/ Shores and Jimithing and a few others.

I don't think you're at all obligated to make her one...yu made those for your kids at a different time and place in your life.
But I'd get her a "real" stocking of her own.  I'd not expect her to share.  Getting her one a small gesture, but one that says "you're here as family". 
(and sharing....well, I don't think sharing says anything nice really.  More like "we let you hang around w/ son".)

[hyzenthlay]

"Really, you have to look at the long-term benefits to your relationship with your DIL.
Do you not want to maker her one because you don't like her? Or because it's a lot of work?"

I disagree that the OP has to *make* her DIL a stocking.  Especially if she's like my mom, and the last time she cross-stitched anything was two decades ago - the results could be less than desirable.

I do think she should have a stocking for the DIL - get one with her initials, or in a favorite color.  But I think she should have *something*.

I agree, find a nice basic stocking and personalize a bit . . . there is no need to go all out and cross-stitch one however.  After all stocking are really for the kidlets, and while the tradition is fun for adults, it doesn't really call for an all out production of something to be seen once a year.

[Evil Duckie]

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[jimithing]

Glad it worked out, and I think asking her was the best way to go.