My DH and I finally have been blessed with a live, healthy baby girl. I am 45; my DH is 51. What would be appropriate responses to, "Oh! HaHaHa! A change-of-life baby," and, "Is that your grandchild?"
I also can't believe that I bristle whenever total strangers ask me her name. Am I weird? How do I respond? One time, I gave a different name but felt awkward.
Well, we've got three different things going on here. The first ("HaHaHa! A change-of-life baby!") is rude. "What an interesting assumption," is a prefectly valid response. Or you could try Miss Manners' cold smile -- stretch your lips into a frozen smile, but be sure the expression does not reach your eyes. Hold it a moment, then abruptly change the subject.
The second is a faux pas -- almost certainly not meant to be a slight. The fact is, at 45, you could
easily have a grandchild -- so it's not that much of a stretch. Best way to handle this one is to cheerfully (not defensively) say, "No -- she's my daughter." Believe me, the offender will be plenty embarrassed and will probably be cured of making that particular assumption in the future.
The third really is an inoffensive and 'normal' question. My guess is you are extropolating your distaste for the other responses above onto the request for her name. Asking a baby's name & age are very common 'stranger admiring a baby' questions, and you're probably just going to have to get used to that.