Older Parents

[littleoats]

That happened to a friend of mine.  She was out with her 15 year old DD and her new baby and this stranger came up and admired the baby then turned to the teen and said "what a nice present for grandma."  I know it's difficult to tell some times whether someone is a parent or grandparent, parent or sibling, but if you're in doubt you just don't mention it.

I hate it when people ask my son's name too.  Usually I tell them but if I get a vibe I'll give them a fake name. 

[Brentwood]

My daughter was many times mistaken for being the mother of one or both of her little siblings. It often surprised people when I said all three were mine.

[auntmeegs]

My daughter was many times mistaken for being the mother of one or both of her little siblings. It often surprised people when I said all three were mine.

Which is so bizarre because you yourself look like a young woman....

[beingkj]

My daughter was many times mistaken for being the mother of one or both of her little siblings. It often surprised people when I said all three were mine.

Which is so bizarre because you yourself look like a young woman....

Indeed - I'd be more likely to think you and your eldest were sisters and the youngest kids were yours.

[magdalena]

My daughter was many times mistaken for being the mother of one or both of her little siblings. It often surprised people when I said all three were mine.

Which is so bizarre because you yourself look like a young woman....

Indeed - I'd be more likely to think you and your eldest were sisters and the youngest kids were yours.

Just what I was thinking!!

But, I must admit, when I'm somewhere with my SIL (39) and niece (13), most people think I'm (29) her mom, not my SIL  Cause it'd be must more the norm for a 16-year-old to have a kid than a 26-year-old???
It's even worse with the younger ones (10, 2 and 6 weeks).

[mom2four]

Congratulations on your new baby.

In Denmark the average age for a first child i 30 and more children are born to women in their 40s than to women under 20 so older parents is becoming the norm here.

[Brentwood]

My daughter was many times mistaken for being the mother of one or both of her little siblings. It often surprised people when I said all three were mine.

Which is so bizarre because you yourself look like a young woman....

I admit I enjoy the surprised looks on people's faces when they find out I'm soon to be a grandmother.

[Specky]

I was 35 and my husband was 41 when we had our first child.  Hubby's hair is snowy white thanks to undiagnosed hypothyroidism.  We were walking in a park and DH was carrying son.  We had more than one person comment on:

How well he got along with his daughter (me)

How loving he was with his grandson.

[FunkyMunky]

My mum and dad were 24 and 26 respectively when I was born (I'm the baby).  My sister will be having her first at age 24. Meaning our mum will be a 47-year-old grandmother. This doesn't worry her - she became a grandmother the first time on her 35th birthday courtesy of my half-sister.

DF and I don't plan to have babies for at least 5 years, meaning I will be 28+ and he will be 38+. His age does not bother me a bit - all his life experiences led him to me, and he is a better person for having lived his life. And if current trends continue, he won't be the oldest dad in parent's group.

My response to being called my own child's grandmother would be "I certainly hope I'm not a grandmother - my baby's only three months old!" But then again, I'm the type of person who will openly ask the baby's sex. Yes, sex. It's the correct term.  Gender is something else.

[Asha]

My response to being called my own child's grandmother would be "I certainly hope I'm not a grandmother - my baby's only three months old!"

I like it!  Since I'm a bit cheeky, if I were in that situation I would probably continue on by looking at my darling lil one and saying "have you been doing something behind my back, you sneaky lil monkey?" in a cute sing-songy voice.

[baglady]

My mom was 37 and my father was 38 when I was born (in 1958). My dad aged hard -- among other things, he went bald in his 20s -- and was frequently mistaken for my grandpa. He got a kick out of it, and out of correcting people who made the assumption; I think he was proud of the fact that his "boys could swim" enough to father a child in middle age.

I am much younger than my siblings (born 1941, '44 and '47) and all but one of my nieces and nephews are within 2-10 years of my age, so it's understandable that I'd be mistaken for another grandchild when the real grandkids are my contemporaries.

I was kind of an oddball growing up, being so far removed in age from my sibs, but with the preponderance of divorces and second families in recent years, it's no longer so rare for someone to have a sib or half-sib who's almost old enough to be his/her parent.

[Mahdoumi]

All these responses have been so kind.  Thanks to all of you who shared your experiences and suggestions with me!

[Book Wizard]

I had a friend in college who was the child of older parents (I was in college '75-'79). Her dad was Class of 1918 at Harvard. She was a splendid person. If you are an older parent, rejoice in your children and they will boast about you.

[AmberVolakis]

A friend who is an older parent was showing photos once and someone made the comment about one of her husband and son, "Oh, your husband looks like such a proud grandpa!" The friend laughed it off and corrected her and the person was mortified and apologized. But the friend said something like, "That's okay, don't worry about it, it must be his lack of hair [her hubby was bald], because I know you meant that I still look 20!" 

[ladiedeathe]

Congrats on the new baby! What a blessing for you.

DH and I actually have a ball with the age mess in our family, especially when his gradkids (1, 11, and 13) are visiting. When we all go out together we are a walking social screw up waiting to happen. We have:

Me (adopted and olive skinned) 40ish
DH 62
My DS (adopted, white) 23
DH DS and DD 31 and 34
DH DGSs and DGD 1, 11, and 13
My Mom and Dad 70ish
My nieces (being raised by M&D 5 and 8
My youngest brother (adopted) 15

No one can figure out who's with who or who the kids belong to and it's a hoot to watch them try! THey are never as subtle as they think they are.