Gift Exchanges...again, *vent*

[Bunbury22]

I've only been at my job for about 2.5 months now and I love it. We are a fairly small office and everyone already agreed to throw in $5 for pizza/breadsticks/soda etc. the friday before xmas and a small gift exchange with a max of $15. That's fine.

Today my co-worker says (in a very nice tone, not snarky at all): I just wanted to give you a heads up that *head supervisor* usually exchanges gifts with support staff (i.e. me and other co-worker), nothing big just $15 or so, just so you're not caught off guard or feel awkward. 

The thing is I DO appreciate her telling me because I WOULD feel very awkward accepting a gift and not being able to have one back, but all of a sudden I'm spending close to $50 on co-workers I like, but would rather spend elsewhere. Gotta love the holidays. 

(/vent)

[siamesecat2965]

I hate that....but it was nice she gave you a heads up.  I would just buy something as a token, and don't worry about the price.  you could probably get something nice, a box of chocolates, etc. for less than that, and its still a nice gift. 

I hate to sound cheap, but I've got 3 bosses, mine, my bosses' boss and my director.  They all get the same thing, usually food, and no more than $10-12 - and they reciprocate the same way.  To me, its the thought that counts, not how much you spend.

[Ohmeomy]

I have never understood the whole "Secret Santa" and giving gifts in the workplace.  They are coworkers, not family.  How about springing for donuts now and then during the year instead. I think its gets to be too much for many people to hassle with and I know lots of people just could care less but go along with things just because its the thing to do.

[jimithing]

I have never understood the whole "Secret Santa" and giving gifts in the workplace.  They are coworkers, not family.  How about springing for donuts now and then during the year instead. I think its gets to be too much for many people to hassle with and I know lots of people just could care less but go along with things just because its the thing to do.

I agree.  In my office, people will usually bring holiday treats in, but that's it.  And not everyone does, and we don't care.  I don't like it when you mix gifts with work.  It's one thing if it's a lunch or a meal, but there are way too many problems with tangible gifts.  My office will sometimes do the "pitching in" kind of thing for funerals or baby showers, but no one has to donate, and we can donate whatever we see fit.

[RubySlippers]

Our office is so divided politically that a Secret Santa (which we have done in the past) is out of the question for this year.
I have 4 bosses.  jTwo of them are very generous with me at Xmas, one regifts to me, and one has never given me so much as a Tim Horton's gift card.
I now give the same token gift to everyone - a Xmas tree ornament.  Most people appreciate it.  If they don't, I'm out two bucks or so.
I do give a calendar or such like to the two women I am close friends with.
I don't believe in giving expensive gifts to one's boss.  Just feels uncomfortable.

[LadyClaire]

We don't exchange gifts in my office. We used to, but then all agreed that we'd just put our money towards our families instead. My boss was the one who suggested just not exchanging anything, and I think everyone was secretly relieved because money does get tight this time of year.

[Hijinks]

My boss sent out an email last week that he was hosting a holiday party for everyone at his house on the 20th.  He asked everyone to let him know if they could make it.  I emailed him that DH and I can come.  THIS week, he emails out that the 20th is a go, and that everyone attending should bring a $10-$25 gift (or, if your spouse is coming also, TWO $10-$25 gifts) to put into a gift exchange.

I feel a little blindsided because he didn't mention gifts at all when he invited us to the holiday party.  Now I feel like I have to go because I RSVP'ed yes.  So we're stuck buying 2 gifts for up to $50.  We can afford it, but still.

[bopper]

I've only been at my job for about 2.5 months now and I love it. We are a fairly small office and everyone already agreed to throw in $5 for pizza/breadsticks/soda etc. the friday before xmas and a small gift exchange with a max of $15. That's fine.

Today my co-worker says (in a very nice tone, not snarky at all): I just wanted to give you a heads up that *head supervisor* usually exchanges gifts with support staff (i.e. me and other co-worker), nothing big just $15 or so, just so you're not caught off guard or feel awkward. 

The thing is I DO appreciate her telling me because I WOULD feel very awkward accepting a gift and not being able to have one back, but all of a sudden I'm spending close to $50 on co-workers I like, but would rather spend elsewhere. Gotta love the holidays. 

(/vent)

Make some yummy breads or cookies or fudge or something if you can't afford buying something.

[siamesecat2965]

That's another option; i LOVE to get homemade treats, and overall, I could care less what anyone spends on me, at work, if they do at all!  I used to make cookies, many different kinds, and I loved doing it, but now, I just don't hae the time...but everyone here got a container of hommade cookies!

[LOPoppet]

Personally I would not want to receive anything homemade.  I'm sorry, I know that sounds like I'm being a jerk, but unless I know you really well, I'd never feel comfortable eating it.  Some people just have different ideas about cleanliness than I do.  I know a woman who thinks nothing of scrubbing her bathroom with the same sponge she uses in the kitchen then runs it through the dishwasher thinking that makes it "o.k.".  Maybe it does, but the idea squicks me out to the nth degree.

I don't like Christmas exchanges because I'd prefer, if I can, to do something small for everyone.  I usually get those tiny stockings from the craft store and fill them with Hershey's Kisses or something and give one to everyone.  I don't expect anything in return.  But I do that because I want to.  I do it for Valentine's Day, Easter and Halloween too--it's just something I enjoy doing.  But I hate being "obligated" to purchase a gift for someone from a gift list.  I mean, it makes no sense.  Why not just spend the money on myself to get what I want and then we can all gab together about how we bought X for ourselves, because honestly, that's what we're doing.

Not to mention, I try to avoid the mall, stores, every place BUT the grocery store like the plague at this time of year.  I have enough going on.  And having to go shopping for a gift is not something I want to do with my time.

[Ohmeomy]

My boss sent out an email last week that he was hosting a holiday party for everyone at his house on the 20th.  He asked everyone to let him know if they could make it.  I emailed him that DH and I can come.  THIS week, he emails out that the 20th is a go, and that everyone attending should bring a $10-$25 gift (or, if your spouse is coming also, TWO $10-$25 gifts) to put into a gift exchange.

I feel a little blindsided because he didn't mention gifts at all when he invited us to the holiday party.  Now I feel like I have to go because I RSVP'ed yes.  So we're stuck buying 2 gifts for up to $50.  We can afford it, but still.

I think thats incredibly presumptious of your boss.  What do you buy for a gift in that situation?  Seriously that would leave me at a total loss.  When you don't know age or sex of the person, what DO you give?  Candles and chocolate are all I can come up with.  Its not only the cash its also having to shop for whatever for an unknown person.  Ugh. THEN comes the ghastly part when everyone has to pretend to just love whatever they randomly get!

[LOPoppet]

I think thats incredibly presumptious of your boss.  What do you buy for a gift in that situation?  Seriously that would leave me at a total loss.  When you don't know age or sex of the person, what DO you give?  Candles and chocolate are all I can come up with.  Its not only the cash its also having to shop for whatever for an unknown person.  Ugh. THEN comes the ghastly part when everyone has to pretend to just love whatever they randomly get!

I don't like gift exchanges like that at all.  I've seen them go wrong way too many times to count.  Even if it is a $10-20 gift, you always have one or two (or more) people who buy a cheap $5 coffee mug with stale candy in it and exchange it, then end up with a far nicer gift than they gave in the first place.

One year, somebody gave a $25 gift card--that turned out to have been used already.  I hate the anonymous gift exchanges for just that reason and refuse to participate in them anymore.

[Mammavan]

It's not appropriate to give gifts "up."  I usually do a nice tray of baked goods, but not always.

Most of the groups to which I belong have done away with gift exchanges and secret Santas.  We throw in the appropriate amount and donate to one of the Holiday funds in the newspaper or, in the case of my office, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer charity, in memory of one of our dearly loved co-workers who died from the disease.  None of us need more "stuff" or have the time to shop for "stuff" for other people and it's a nice feeling for all of us to get together to do something worthwhile, in addition to our own private charitable contributions.  This might be something to suggest in place of an exchange.

The one group that still does a gift exchange is a small group of women who have known each other for more than 20 years.  We each buy a Christmas ornament and play a game to see who gets which present.  It provides a bit of fun before the mulled wine kicks in!

[workerbee]

We don't exchange gifts at my office (well, each of us buys something for our assistant, and vice-versa, but that's it) and I am so grateful for it!

At my husband's firm everyone exchanges a little "something" - mostly food or wine, which is FAR preferable to a little $10-15 tchotchke that is probably going to get thrown out after the holidays. I would MUCH rather receive something consumable, rather than yet another coffee mug that is going to Goodwill ASAP.

For those "secret santa" gift exchanges, my secret trick is to purchase something that I know at least I would like! 

[Wonderflonium]

Here's a thought: Someone mentioned ornaments. I saw some lovely ornaments at Pier 1 that came in their own velvet boxes. However, even better, I saw some that were similar at the dollar store. You could get one of those, or maybe even combine it with a few other small things.