A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!
My road trip is being hijacked!
itiswhatitisn't:
Hi! I need to vent and maybe find a kind way to prevent this. I'm road tripping to a shower/bachelorette party in about a month. DH made plans that weekend. Thought we were fine. Now his plans have changed and he and a friend want to go to a hockey game and stay with a friend. The friend's place is in the same state as the shower. Sounds like a simple plan.
Except....I was going to leave work early and get to the shower location at a decent hour the night before (staying with MOB and family). I do not want to walk through the door at midnight. DH's friend does not work near us, does not have a car to get to us, and has never been on time. It makes no sense for DH and I to take two cars. Can I demand this person take off work early? He/She has never paid for gas and tolls in the past and I don't feel like I need to be polite when the two of them are hijacking my trip and will delay it.
Shoo:
I think you need to make your plans and expectations clear to your dh, and then let him handle it with his friend.
Since it's your trip, and dh and his friend are tagging along, they need to be respectful of your schedule. If it means his friend has to leave work early, then that's what he needs to do. If he can't, he won't be able to go. But get it worked out early, so he and your dh can make alternate arrangements if they have to.
Bijou:
--- Quote from: weber06 on January 26, 2007, 10:18:57 PM ---Hi! I need to vent and maybe find a kind way to prevent this. I'm road tripping to a shower/bachelorette party in about a month. DH made plans that weekend. Thought we were fine. Now his plans have changed and he and a friend want to go to a hockey game and stay with a friend. The friend's place is in the same state as the shower. Sounds like a simple plan.
Except....I was going to leave work early and get to the shower location at a decent hour the night before (staying with MOB and family). I do not want to walk through the door at midnight. DH's friend does not work near us, does not have a car to get to us, and has never been on time. It makes no sense for DH and I to take two cars. Can I demand this person take off work early? He/She has never paid for gas and tolls in the past and I don't feel like I need to be polite when the two of them are hijacking my trip and will delay it.
--- End quote ---
I don't think demanding anyone to do something works, but how about making it clear that you are leaving at X time with or without your dh friend? It may make sense to take two cars in the interest of peace in the family and your getting to your destination on time.
Bethalize:
--- Quote from: weber06 on January 26, 2007, 10:18:57 PM ---Hi! I need to vent and maybe find a kind way to prevent this. I'm road tripping to a shower/bachelorette party in about a month. DH made plans that weekend. Thought we were fine.
Except....I was going to leave work early and get to the shower location at a decent hour the night before (staying with MOB and family). I do not want to walk through the door at midnight. DH's friend does not work near us, does not have a car to get to us, and has never been on time. It makes no sense for DH and I to take two cars. Can I demand this person take off work early? He/She has never paid for gas and tolls in the past and I don't feel like I need to be polite when the two of them are hijacking my trip and will delay it.
--- End quote ---
I think you should say to your DH that you are leaving at x time and you don't want to change it, and if that doesn't fit in he can make his own way. Point out that you'll be losing a lot of the enjoyment of the trip if you work it around his friend, and that you don't think it's fair for him to downgrade your planned weekend.
It does make sense to take two cars. But is it worth the financial change? If friend pays half won't it work out about the same/
FoxPaws:
--- Quote from: weber06 on January 26, 2007, 10:18:57 PM ---Except....I was going to leave work early and get to the shower location at a decent hour the night before (staying with MOB and family). I do not want to walk through the door at midnight. DH's friend does not work near us, does not have a car to get to us, and has never been on time. It makes no sense for DH and I to take two cars. Can I demand this person take off work early? He/She has never paid for gas and tolls in the past and I don't feel like I need to be polite when the two of them are hijacking my trip and will delay it.
--- End quote ---
Take two separate cars.
It makes more sense than:
You assuming the "mommy" role, and trying to make sure everybody is ready to leave on time.
Feeling angry and resentful that your trip has been hi-jacked.
Arriving late, tired, and stressed because inconsiderate friend behaved exactly like you knew s/he would. (Trust me, s/he is not going to suddenly discover punctuality and paying his/her way just because you have a shower to go to.)
Having a fight with DH all the way from here to there.
Good luck and happy trails! 8)
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