Rude Gift for SO? UPDATED.

[honeymoon child]

Currently, my boyfriend and I are doing the long distance thing.  Since he's always saying that he wished he had enough money to fly up here anytime he wanted (he's about 1000 miles away), I thought a gift card to JetBlue would be a really thoughtful, really nice gift for the holidays (especially since he's planning to come up for at least my birthday in February and my graduation in May.)  I don't expect him to use it to come to see me, but, to be honest, if he used it to fly to Jamaica with his sister I would be pretty hurt.  (Though I don't think he'd do something like that and, even if he did, I think I would be understanding and deal with it.)  My mom says it's selfish and rude to do this, especially since I would be hurt (though I'd get over it, probably) if he used it to fly somewhere else but here.

Should I scrap the gift idea and start over?


UPDATE:  Thanks, guys.  I decided to go with a nice wallet (he needs a new one) and put some fun things in it (like a GameStop gift card, a Wii points card and my graduation picture, haha.)

[jimithing]

Yes. 

I have a friend who got her boyfriend a MAJOR, expensive gift for his birthday.  She wanted my opinion and I told her that as long as this was what she wanted, and she wouldn't be hurt to not be given the same in return or expect anything, go ahead and give it.  She did, and she truly does not expect anything similar in return.

If you have expectations for how the gift will be used, and would be upset if it wasn't used that way, it's not a good idea to give that gift, as it will turn into resentment. I would find something else, or pay for a plane ticket for him to see you.

[Bijou]

It seems you have some reservations about doing this.  In addition to the possibility that he might use the ticket for some purpose other than a visit to you, he may be uncomfortable with your giving him something expensive.  I wouldn't do it.  I'd give a gift that is in keeping with what he gives you.  I would keep the ticket for my own use to go visit him, instead. 

[cicero]

if you attach strings to a gift, it's not a gift.

i do understand where you are coming from, but this is going to cause too much problems for you.

get him something else.

[mddg4]

OKay, I read the title and my brain went straight to gutter level! Oh the fun and havoc I thought of, but then I read the post and figured that maybe it's just as well that way. 



Says the girl who brought something naughty for her DH's present at their first christmas after being married.... oh the look on his face!