s/o of Charity Giving Tree: Bad gifts given in "charity"

[Yarnspinner]

On the other thread we were talking about how so many charity giving trees feature items that are so high ticket, no one can afford to give them except Donald Trump or maybe Oprah.

Here's the other end of the spectrum:  people who use the "Giving Tree" as a way to clean house and "dump" unwanted stuff.

I belong to my church's Social Concerns committee.  Each year we have a giving tree.  The ornaments on the tree are pieces of paper naming a particular local charity and an item that someone they serve might need.  Example:  Veteran's Aid Home:  Men's Socks.  or  Home for Unwed Teen Moms: infant clothing.  There are tags reading "Women's CLothing, Size 18" or "Toy for boy, age 5 - 8."  We do not give the items to individuals.  We give them to the charity that serves them and the charity divvies the loot.

Because of this we ASK SPECIFICALLY AND CLEARLY in the bulletin and from the altar, that the items NOT be wrapped because we need to know what the item is and where it goes. 

But that doesn't deter some folks and, I guess, for good reason.  We unwrap all the items, even if they are labeled, for the same reason.  People like to get rid of their junk this way.

Today I threw away an item that had been beautifully gift wrapped and labeled "Boy TOY, age 5".  What I unwrapped was a decorative wooden nutcracker about a foot and a half tall.  Aside from being hideous (it was some kind of miner, I guess: he had a shovel--I hope he was a miner and not a grave digger) it was broken and the arm that was broken had jagged bits sticking out.  Charming for a little boy to receive, no?

My friend unwrapped a box labeled "women's clothing."  There were tattered blouses, dirty Tees and you name it.

Who does this and why?  I know in my church there are a  lot of people who are, well, a few clowns short of a circus, but honestly, why would you think it was okay to give an ugly broken decoration to a five year old child?  Who would want a slinky black top stained with antipersperant?  Why?

Any stories about inappropriate charity offerings???

[Brentwood]

If it isn't something I would give to my own children or family or friends, I wouldn't give it to a charity drive. People are nuts.

[afbluebelle]

Maybe the people think that the people recieveing the charity gifts should be happy with anything that they get.  I've met a couple of people that totally have this mindset.

Please, just keep in mind that I do not believe this.

[Bijou]

There was a toys for kids type thing at our office one time where people could pick up gifts for their children if they were having a hard time.  A man I know got three gifts, one for each of his grandchildren.  They must have been wrapped because when we unwrapped one to see what it was, it was a barrel of monkeys with two monkeys in it.  Disgusting. 

[Deetee]

There was a toys for kids type thing at our office one time where people could pick up gifts for their children if they were having a hard time.  A man I know got three gifts, one for each of his grandchildren.  They must have been wrapped because when we unwrapped one to see what it was, it was a barrel of monkeys with two monkeys in it.  Disgusting. 

I don't get it. What was disgusting?

[wendelenn]

There was a toys for kids type thing at our office one time where people could pick up gifts for their children if they were having a hard time.  A man I know got three gifts, one for each of his grandchildren.  They must have been wrapped because when we unwrapped one to see what it was, it was a barrel of monkeys with two monkeys in it.  Disgusting. 

I don't get it. What was disgusting?

A barrel o'monkeys with only TWO monkeys in it is no fun at all.  You need LOTS of monkeys.

[lamorevincera]

My mother went down to Mississippi after Katrina and found this same situation.

She came down to help sort and give out clothing that had been donated. She said that easily 95% of what had been donated was stained, had holes, was very dirty, and was darn near unwearable (and not from an aesthetic point of view; I mean holes in awkward places). They had to toss out most of the underwear that had been donated, since while the donation request stated "bought, still-in-package underwear", people had tossed their DIRTY undies in.

Mom said that she saw the same expression on so may people's faces - gratitude at getting clothing, and then a lot of pride-swallowing when they realized what they were getting was something they'd NEVER have their family wear.

[hyzenthlay]

I've donated tons of old business clothes, a lot of which needed a good airing and ironing after a few years in the closet, but I try, really try to weed out anything that's unwearable.

[LB]

I realize this may not be exactly in the same vein as some others, but it's one I found kind of weird.

I participated in a canned food drive years ago (for the benefit of the local food bank) and sorted boxes and boxes and boxes of food! We filled at least five boxes with cans of SlimFast.

[Suze]

and I bet they were all sort of "dusty"

I remember one year our church did a "toy drive" and they didn't care if they were "new" just in good shape.

someone donated a big "walker" doll. (remember those - about 3 foot tall and you could hold her hands and she would walk with you)

Nekit in a fertalizer bag.....She was pretty grubby too.

I asked Mom if we could take her home and give her some clothes.

We made her about 4 outfits and a sholder bag to put them all in, made shoes and everything.

I still wonder about the person who gave a nekit doll for a person with no money to buy toys.....

[momtomany]

Hello, this is my first post 

I work for a government funded agency that serves children and their parents.  We spend lots of time finding donations and lots of time dumping garbage.  People do feel that various charities are excellent dumping grounds for their old junk.  Basically, these folks think that:

1. Poor people are too stupid to know better
2. They should be pathetically grateful to receive anything
3. Broken or disgusting items are in some way all these folks deserve

Personally, I think they're real charmers.  These are common misconceptions, sadly.

[Amy Rose]

While I don't believe that you should give dirty/broken/unusable objects to anyone, where do you draw the line between what is "too cheap" for charity or not?

Take, for example, the clothing drive I gave clothes to last week. One of the items I donated was winter hats, but I also got one for myself. I gave a black boys' hat and a pink girls' hat, both plain. But for myself, I got a slightly more expensive Spongebob hat. I figured that, if they were truly too poor to buy a hat for their kids, then they should be grateful that their kids have something to put on their heads to keep them warm, not be complaining that "well, my kid DESERVES a Spongebob hat! This person probably got these hats at Target. I want Gap kids hats!" When donating to charity, I usually look at utility first- I'll buy warm fuzzy pajama bottoms or a thick sweater before I'd buy an expensive pair of designer jeans for charity. I'd buy myself a pair of full-price jeans, or- more likely- buy them as a gift (I'm more likely to buy clearance jeans for myself), but if I'm donating them to a clothing drive, I'll buy plain, unembellished jeans that are sturdy and will last a long time, and yeah- I do feel that the people receiving them should be grateful that they're getting clothing that will keep them clothed for a while or keep them warm, rather than b*tch about how the people donating are cheapskates that won't buy them the embellished or designer jeans.

I mean, I don't know if that's the wrong attitude to have, especially since the consensus seems to be "you be grateful for what you get, even if it's not what you want." Like with buying off the registry. 

[lamorevincera]

While I don't believe that you should give dirty/broken/unusable objects to anyone, where do you draw the line between what is "too cheap" for charity or not?

I believe it's "too cheap" when it's something that under no circumstances would you allow yourself or your children to use/wear.

[camlan]

I got yelled at once for a donation to a food pantry. My church collected food for the pantry every Sunday. There would be suggestions in the weekly bulletin on different things to buy for that you might not ordinarily think of. So, one week the local supermarket had a huge sale on its own store brand canned food. I bought quite a bit for the food pantry, because the sale allowed me to get more food for the amount of money I had available to give.

When I brought in the bags of food to the collecting room on Sunday, a parishioner who was leaving the room looked in my bags and started giving me what for. These people deserved name brand food; I was just too cheap to buy them good food, I should be ashamed of myself for giving the poor people second best. I was so shocked I couldn't say anything. And the woman stomped off finally.

The woman collecting the food thanked me and apologized for the other woman and told me I was one of the "regulars" that they could count on to donate food and she hoped I wouldn't let this "idiot's" [her word] behavior stop me. The kicker was, I ate the store brand food all the time. It wasn't as if I was buying one thing for me and a lesser quality thing for the pantry. It was exactly the same food. And it tasted fine.

My guideline for donation is: Would I wear/eat/use that item? If so, then it is suitable for donation.

[HorseFreak]

My mom tries to donate my old bras and panties to the Goodwill all the time. She was rather poor when growing up and often bought HER underwear there and was very grateful for it so I should donate mine. No one is going to buy my clothes in the state I usually toss them in. There's a REASON I put them in the trash!