Author Topic: Come for dinner, bring money.  (Read 3135 times)

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littlelauraj

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Come for dinner, bring money.
« on: January 28, 2007, 11:13:57 AM »
I think this is the first thread that I've started on the "new" message board!  Hooray, me!

Dh went to lunch with some former business associates on Friday.  One of the guys is single and likes to cook, so after everyone else had left he tried to invite dh and me for dinner some night.  Guy said he was in the mood to experiment, and of course we could chip in for the grocery money.  Of course, we will politely decline any such invitation if it ever actually happens.  Too much!

cocacola35

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2007, 11:52:37 AM »
 ???

Umm....If I want to experiment with a new dish, I always try it on myself first.  If I think it is good enough for guests then I will invite them over for to try the meal at a later date.  Expecting them to "chip in" for a meal and not even knowing if it is going to be good?  Tacky, tacky, tacky!!  You are right to decline this guy's invitation.

magicdomino

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2007, 12:23:35 PM »
Sounds like he wants to experiment with some really expensive ingredients like foie gras or black truffles and is trying to get someone to subsidize the costs.   That's fine if  (a) you know him well, (b) he has invited you over enough times for no-strings-attached dinners that you are sure that he really is an excellent cook, and (c) the specifics are discussed ahead of time and the exotic ingredient is something that everyone involved wants to try.  I'd be happy to go shares on a truffle, but foie gras is just chopped liver to me.

lady_disdain

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2007, 01:40:24 PM »
If he is a friend and if you share his love of experimenting new foods, then it I feel it is ok to be his "lab rats".

But to ask for grocery money, that is too much! Unless, of course, everyone had expressed the wish to try an expensive delicacy and he offered to get it if everyone would chip in.

But all of the above from a business associate? No way.

Lisbeth

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2007, 01:41:13 PM »
Experimenting with new dishes is one thing, but it's very ungracious of a host to suggest that it needs to be on his guests' dollars. 

I'd decline too.   :P
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Clara Bow

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2007, 05:35:42 PM »
Does this mean I have to stop having a cover charge when I have company for dinner?
Drat....
I'd decline the invitation and spend the money on a nice familiar pizza.
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Evil Duckie

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2007, 09:23:07 PM »
I would decline the invitation.

Unless is it cooking group in which it was understood that everyone shares the expense. He was rude.

When one entertains guest it is rude to ask them to cover the cost of having them.

littlelauraj

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2007, 10:58:09 AM »
Thanks for the replies, everyone!  I'd like to clarify that this person is not a close friend of ours, but rather a former co-worker of my husband's.  I have met him a total of once, and we have never socialized with him.  We did invite him to our annual chili feed in October, to which he RSVP'd in the affirmative and offered to bring cornbread.  He even called that morning for directions, and then never showed up.  I'm still not sure what happened there.

I do agree that if we were part of a group of intimate friends that shared a love of food, splitting the cost of something outrageous might not be untoward.  No mention of the specific ingredient was made, and like I said, we barely know this guy.  This is definitely not the same thing as a bunch of foodies choosing this month's special ingredient. ;)

Brentwood

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2007, 11:53:37 AM »
I have never, ever, ever, ever asked a guest to help pay for MY hospitality. That's when it ceases to be hospitality! If I want to host people, I host them. Period.

IndianInlaw

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2007, 12:16:23 PM »
I think chipping in should be limited to people in the immediate household.

And ONLY if the guy is a good cook.

weber06

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2007, 12:51:11 PM »
My husband experiments at tailgates all the time.  We share with everyone.  We make sure that we get enough to eat, but he loves to share his new creations and if I don't like it then I wander over to someone else's grill.  We also shop for bargains as that much meat, chicken, and pork can get expensive.  There is nothing DH likes better than cooking a really great piece of meat with a great rub of his own concoction and sharing it with his friends.  We would never think of charging them. 

twinkletoes

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Re: Come for dinner, bring money.
« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2007, 01:17:57 PM »
I wouldn't mind being someone's lab rat if I were close enough to them that I could honestly say "burn this recipe."  But for a casual acquaintance?  No way!  I also think it's rude to charge.