s/o Office Christmas Party Drama - tell us your story

[rosiecat]

I just got home from our holiday office party.
The story I'll share:

I came into one dining room and recognized one of our clients.  There was a woman sitting on his lap.  Okay, whatever.  I didn't recognize her.  I came over to say hello.  Guy says hi and I said to the woman, hi, I'm rosiecat, who are you?  What company are you with?

She was drunk.  I mean, way beyond drunk.  She tried to sit on his lap but kept falling off.  She kept kissing him.  He looked VERY uncomfortable. 
I finally understood that she was another client.  He had never met her before.  She just came over and plopped on his lap!

After I had introduced myself, she kept asking me who I was.  I finally said - I'm HIS wife! (and point to the poor guy!)  She jumps up - Really??!!!  I said, yes.  So, she decided to start kissing ME!!!  He jumped up and ran to the men's room, mouthing, thank you thank you.  (He now knows he owes me big-time!)

She then proceeded to hang onto ME for the next 10-15 minutes, all the time kissing my cheek and telling me how wonderful "my husband" was.  She could barely stand up. 

I was finally able to unload her on a waiter!!! 

That's the best/worst story from this year's party.
What's yours?

[LiveLoveLearn]

Wha... wha... what???  Someone is going to be embarrassed tomorrow!!!

[afbluebelle]

Oh my... and I thought the BB (big boss) doing keg stands with all of the barely legal to drink worker drones was bad.

Although I did end up chopping a tree down with a tiny hatchet, toppling it by ramming it with my truck, and dousing it in gasoline to get the bonfire back up again.  All sober actions... not bright, but at least I was sober.

ETA - Our Holiday party was in December... in Alaska.  We were outside of the cabin we had rented, and it was about -15.  Just to expain the pyro goodness.

[DrinkingTea (was Sneezy)]

I was invited to the potluck and gift exchange across the hall where there was an office, since I was working alone in my office (different company, different industry, not related) and one of the individuals there included me in social things whenever possible.  There were about two or three of the nicest people to roam the earth working there and about half a dozen of the meanest people there.  One of these days, I'll post about going to lunch with a few of them one day and how one was proud to have made the person serving our food cry.

During the potluck, the mean ones were unable to take any food whatsoever without commenting on how many carbs were in it, how much fat, how much they were going to regret it later, whatever.  It was a veritable contest to see whose self-flagellation was the most thorough.  I'm sure that made whoever made the dish feel great.  As 'diet buddies,' they all encouraged each other to not take too much food by letting the person know exactly where it was going to go, as in 'straight to the hips' or 'on your gut.'

Then came the gift exchange.  One person gave another one a swimsuit calendar of members of the gender that that the recipient was attracted to, which was all well as good, but not appropriate for that style of office.  The giver then took advantage of the awkward silence to comment that maybe this would encourage the recipient to lose those holiday pounds!

That person ended up receiving a box of low carb chocolates.  Some people like those.  However, everyone had to comment on them being low carb, needed to look at the label to see just how low carb they were, and then to act shocked at the amount of fat they contained.  One of the other employees who didn't care about their weight received a bottle of alcohol because as giver implied that this person was probably a closet alcoholic.

Highlight to read details that may be hot buttons that I don't want to get flamed for but may add some color to the story for those curious: It was a law office,the calendar was a Chippendale one given by a woman to another woman and all of them were extremely image conscious to the point of being horrified that my size 12/14 self had no problems whatsoever eating a dinner roll and one even commented, 'Are you really going to eat the whole thing!?  You must have been very good this week!'

[Hanna]

That's the best/worst story from this year's party.
What's yours?

No, just no.  I will not share even one of the 3 very embarrassing things I did at my holiday party Friday night.
I was not myself, and I am trying to forget all of it. 
Fortunately most of the people I work with were highly intoxicated and also did embarrassing things.
I did get one very odd look this morning, though.  At least it was from a friend.

[Hanna]

1) I just can't tell you.  Really.  It was bad.
2) Let's just say my dancing with a guy 12 years my junior was apparently very entertaining to at least one of my co-workers.  She told me today that she rescued me from making a complete fool of myself. 
3) Um, moral of story # 3: don't talk to CEO whilst drunk.   But I think I still have my job.  Actually, I have seen him be quite silly so I think all is fine.  I will hear about it again, though.

[lindamay]

 Not very dramatic, but not great stuff either

1) Wife of one of the senior guys (whose breasts were on display) left before dinner without saying anything! No goodbye, thank you, nothing

2) Receptionist got wasted and embarrassed herself... again.

3) President refused to make a speech of any kind, not a word! It was left up to me and one of the VPs to make the speeches!!

4) hourly people ALL left without a word!



What happened to people knowing how to go out to a social function?

[Xallanthia]

My company doesn't have a holiday party, we have a Winter Celebration sometime in January.  However they aren't providing alcohol, so I doubt there will be stories...

Last office had a holiday potluck, though.  Everyone's nice and mellow the last afternoon before Christmas... especially those who got there early enough to get a jello shot!

[Gambitgirl]

hopefully i'll have one to share shortly b/c my office partyy starts in 2 hours. woo freaking hoo...i don't wanna go but i hate ppl who RSVP then bail.

[mkkristen]

DH's Christmas party was Friday night. It was the best one we've ever been to since more of the people we know were able to come this year. However there were quite a few faux pas(mostly clothing related).

1. We don't know who this woman was, but her dress would have won the Skanky Ho Award. The back was basically her black lace bra. We don't know if it was part of the dress or her bra, but either way it was so incredibly inappropriate.

2. Several of the younger women were wearing such short dresses that there is no way they could have sat down or bent over without showing the entire world their bottom and underwear. It was baaaaaad.

3. A few years ago there was one woman who hasn't been seen at a party since. You know how Elaine from Seinfeld dances? Elaine has nothing on this girl. She was wild and crazy and really drunk very early on. It was quote entertaining to watch.

[evilbeagle]

These type of parties are one of the reasons that I am glad I am now a house honey...

I make no secret of the fact that I like to drink, but I follow my grandmother's advice when we shared our first beer once I was old enough to drink with my elders: "Drink all you want, but don't embarrass yourself or your family." With very few exceptions, I have followed that rule to a tee since that day. So, I get a little peeved when I see someone else act completely obnoxious because I wonder, why drink at all? That said, here are some incidents from the last work related Christmas party I went to when I was a veterinary nurse back in Florida:

1.  The doctor's wife got completely hammered at the restaurant. We all went back to their place for more drinks, and she ended up spread eagle (in a skirt), playing with the train set under the Christmas tree and conversing with a hunting trophy head on the wall.

2.  The doctor proceeded to inform us that she had the same conversation with that trophy head at least three times a week. Mind you, she was telling the trophy head about what was going on in her favorite soap opera.

3. A co-worker and his girlfriend got into a screaming match that we could all hear from the back yard. This was all fueled by booze, and it culminated with the co-worker threatening to remove certain "girl parts".

4. All of us received a bonus check with our Christmas gifts with the exception of a receptionist that had put in her two weeks' notice only two days prior. AWKWARD!!!!

5. Another co-worker threw up on a snowy white couch.

This hardly touches some of what I have read here, and I am certainly not complaining, but I was more than happy to get home that night.

[Samantha]

A few years ago, when I still worked for a major bank, our annual holiday party was held at a resort near the beach. We had an open bar, that lasted probably from 6:30 PM til 10:00 PM (party started wrapping up around 11:30 or so).

One of office friends (a supervisor in a different department) had WAY too much to drink. We were talking with a few others from the networking group we were all a part of, and he started talking about going home. I told him he wasn't allowed to drive, that he'd had too much. He kept insisting that he was fine to drive. After 10 minutes, he gave up and said he'd let us call a cab for him. A few minutes later, he said that he was going to the bathroom, and he'd be back. I had a bad feeling... so I watched the area of the bathroom. He went that way... but a few minutes later, came out, and didn't come back to the group. Instead, he ducked behind a few other groups, and made his way towards the parking lot. I told some of the other guys we had been talking to what our friend was doing. They didn't believe me, until I took off running in 4" heels, for the parking lot.

We split up there (three lots). I was the lucky winner, and found him, as he was starting his car. I screamed that I had found him, and stood in front of his car so he couldn't leave unless he ran me over. He DID hit me with the car that night, but not hard (I've been kicked in shins harder than he hit me). It took us over 30 minutes to get him out of the car. He locked himself in, yelled for me to move, and kept trying to leave. It took one of the guys threatening to break the window on his car to get him out.

He stayed with another coworker and his boyfriend that night. One of them drove his car back to their place, so he would be able to drive to work the next day. He had a horrible hangover, but he was at work. He apologized when he saw me, and asked about what happened, specifically... Said the guys he had stayed with wouldn't tell him about everything that happened. So I told him. He made me pull up my pant legs to prove he hadn't injured me when I told him about that part.

I think he quit drinking after that night.

[dragonflies]

My office party is at a very upscale steakhouse.   There is a cocktail hour before dinner.

Our file clerk was taking shots of patron.  She threw up on the table before dinner was served.

[Drunken Housewife]

My husband's new company had a party at a very expensive, fancy restaurant.  I think it was pretty tame, though.  We both got intoxicated, and I kissed one of my husband's coworkers on the cheek.  I think that was okay, because it was on the cheek and my husband was right there.

One of my husband's coworkers told me that they all think "he's just precious!", which made me laugh.  (My husband is an eccentric genius type, and "just precious" is how I often think of him --- when it's not "maddening").