obvious re-gifting

[audrey1962]

Wow - I hadn't thought of it that way. Thanks Madge!

Not many do , including my SIL. I'm pretty sure I'm still the villain because he won't buy anything. 

*Smacks head* Of course I can relate: DH is in charge of buying b-day cards for his family, and of course, he's always late.

Isn't it odd how that's how my relationship is with my husband, yet I never even considered my brother's relationship could be the same way?

I'm so glad I posted this - I'm feeling a lot better.

And I also agree with the others that I may put less focus on what I buy them in the future. I'm thinking gift cards...

[ZipTheWonder]

Why don't you gently propose that you stop exchanging gifts after this year?

[Gambitgirl]

i gave my mother what i thought was a really gorgeous and snuggly dark purple chenille sweater years ago for Xmas.

i got it back for my b-day with the tags still on it...in late May. definitely not sweater season. when i opened the package mom sent me i had to call her up and ask her why she re-gifted me the sweater i gave her a few months earlier. she was mortified to get caught b/c she didn't remember who gave it to her and decided to give it to me b/c she knows i adore the softness of chenille and love purple.

i asked her why she didn't like the sweater and she said, "Haven't you noticed that I'm wearing tank tops in deep winter for the last 2 years? Menopause! That sweater would've given me heat stroke!" i cracked up over that and wasn't mad.

but once in a while i tease her about re-gifting me the sweater...she hates that, but that's what she gets for regifting, and being really forgetful. 

[Gambitgirl]

You could always get them a nice fruitcake

my family has been re-gifting a vacuumm sealed mini-fruitcake for about a decade now. we re-gift it to each other sneakily, slipping into other presents or each other's luggage beforethey leave. whoever gets it one year has to re-gift it the next. YS has it this year after i snuck to her last year.

[JordanX]

I didn't want to say this earlier, as it shouldn't be relevant, but my brother easily makes 3x the salary as my husband and I and they just bought a new house in a very exclusive, upper class neighborhood.

I think this part is very telling.  I know lots of people (generally wealthy ones) who make the financial status of the recipient part of the determinative factor of how much money and effort (often viewed as synonymous) they are willing to put into a gift.

Sometimes the attitude is: I don't want to make them uncomfortable with a pricey gift because it underscores that we have so much more money than they do.  But often the attitude is:  Oh, they aren't used to nice things anyway; they won't know the difference   

[caranfin]

I think the fact that your brother bought a house and didn't tell you  pretty much says it all. I'd scale down his gift, like the PP said - don't deliberately buy a bad gift, but just don't feel like you have to put so much thought and effort into it.

[RegionMom]

A simple trick for re-gifting--
post-it notes on each item telling yourself who from and when!!
Make sure there is NO WAY the re-giftee recipient will find out. 

And, by golly, DO NOT SAMPLE FIRST!!!
That is what give re-gifting a bad name. 

[audrey1962]

And, by golly, DO NOT SAMPLE FIRST!!!
That is what give re-gifting a bad name. 

Oh, so I shouldn't re-wrap the half-eaten box of chocolates and slap my brother's name on it? NOW YOU TELL ME!!!!!