Touchy Subject: weight issues

[ginlyn32]

I have thought about posting about this for a while.

Many of us on this board know someone who is overweight. My question is what if the person you are speaking about is a child?

I have a 10 yo nephew. He is VERY overweight. This boy is in MEN's sizes because he is so big. I don't know if this has anything to do with it or not, but he is also autistic (Asperger's Syndrom).

The main question I want to pose to you, fellow posters, is: Are parents who allow their children to be obese commenting child neglect?

The reason I ask this question is because this child is basicly left on his own with his older (16 yo) brother while his mother works. He has always been big...from about maybe a year old. I mean, this child is almost taller than me and I am 5'6". She was told several years ago (i think it was when he was diagnosed Aspie) that him being so big was not good.

We all know that it is not good to be overweight. The problem I am having is that she just allows him to sit and eat all day. I really feel like she is not doing him any favors.

Should I say something to my SIL? I am concerned with his HEALTH! This kid could end up with alot more problems than having Aspergers Syndrom. I am talking diabetic or heart problems.

Ginger

[Lisbeth]

I think you could speak up, if you do it in a non-accusatory way and don't directly refer to the weight issue.  I'm sure those will really put your SIL's back up.

Rather, you might say, "I notice that Nephew doesn't seem to look very healthy and I'm worried about him.  What do you think?"  If she says she doesn't think anything is wrong, you might respond, "Well, I notice he's eating a lot, and I'm wondering if that's good for his health.  What does his doctor think?"  and then go from there.

[ginlyn32]

I think one of the things that really bothers me is that she will let him drink Mountain Dew all. day. long. That stuff has about 3 times as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. And WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much sugar. and she lets a kid drink that stuff.

We ( i say we but I am talking about the whole family, her mom, sister, son's dr) HAS said things to her about his eating habits. I think what is bothering me the most is that she leaves him on his own so much. His brother does not stay home with him. He runs the neighborhood, is 16 and not in school. He is "homeschooled". She says he is being homeschooled but I suspect he just does whatever he wants.

Whatever, maybe it really is none of my business and I should just keep my mouth shut.

before I forget...

Does anyone on here who has Asperger's Syndrom have a problem with eating? I mean not being able to stop eating? My nephew has eaten to the point where he throws up.

Ginger

[Just Lori]

Does anyone on here who has Asperger's Syndrom have a problem with eating? I mean not being able to stop eating? My nephew has eaten to the point where he throws up.

Ginger

There is a genetic illness called Prader Willi Syndrome that causes uncontrollable eating.  Here's a link:
http://www.thearc.org/faqs/pwsynd.html

[caranfin]

We ( i say we but I am talking about the whole family, her mom, sister, son's dr) HAS said things to her about his eating habits.

Then why do you think one more comment will make a difference. Don't say anything. She already knows.

[Twik]

Is this a good situation? No.

Is it likely that anything you say will change it. No.

Presumably, if this boy is getting enough medical attention that he's been diagnosed with Asperger's, he's been seeing doctors who have noticed his weight. Trust me, doctors today are not usually reticent about discussing weight. If your SIL is unwilling or unable to comply with medical advice, I doubt advice from well-meaning family members will help either. It's sad, and frustrating, but short of calling Child Protective Services, I don't see you being able to help.

[MadMadge43]

I do feel it's child abuse. If a child kept hurting himself, you would do something to prevent it, and this is what he is doing.

That being said, I really don't know how you could intervene without causing a huge stir, short of going to Child Protection (which I'm pretty sure isn't quite equipped to handle this yet, but probably will be in the near future) talking to her one more time about it won't do any good.

Maybe offering her pamphlets on what she can do and the real harm of being obese.

P.S. I think the new child obesity ads that are running in the US are fabulous education for this.