Zealous RA

[Lysitheia]

I live in a dorm. My Residential advisor (RA) is a woman I'll call Janie. She seems okay (read: not insane), but she's a little on the odd side. To wit:

-She's supposed to bring us toilet paper for our bathroom and install it (it's non-communal, meaning four people share one vs. twenty). It takes her two to five days to respond to our written requests, and when she does, she dumps the paper outside our door and doesn't install it.

-She pounds our doors like there's an emergency to get us to come to 'floor meetings'. She once insisted I come to one when I was so sick I shook. The reason? To decide whether Tuesdays should be game night or movie night.

-She plans said meetings for weird times, like Saturday at 2:00 pm. Then she gets cross because no one shows up.

I appreciate that she has to do some of this stuff, but really...

We were supposed to attend a college wide propaganda meeting...er, a lecture about the evils of something or other. I was having a family issue and wrote a note telling her so. I slid it under her door and waited in my room for my mother to call.

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP I open the door.

"Come one, we have to go to X"

"Janie, I'm having a family problem."

"I know, I got your note."

"I'm sorry, but I have to take care of it. Good night."

Lots of people, even most people, didn't go. So why all the pushing if 70% of the floor was gone?

Do I have reasonable grounds to complain formally if things don't improve?

[crazyone]

It seems to me that what you are describing are nuisances, I don't know if that is enough to make a formal complaint about. But that is just my opinion.

[goblue2539]

Have you complained to her directly?  I mean, I realize it seems obvious, but it sounds like she might need the gentle nudge of a clue by four to realize that her expectations are out of line with your and other residents capabilities.  I would try talking to her before I filed any kind of complaint.

[Chocolate Cake]

I agree with Newbie.   Since she has no formal authority over you, just handle her irritating behavior as you feel necessary as you go along.

P.S. With regard to the toilet paper, since you know she takes several days to fulfill your "order", plan to place your order sooner than you normally would (like when you get down to the last three rolls instead of down to the last two rolls, for example).   

On that issue, if I was the RA, I would dump the TP delivery at the door also.  No way would I install it --that's too demeaning.

[kiero]

I think that the things you've mentioned are just annoying - not really anything serious enough for a formal complaint.

1) I wouldn't install the toilet paper either.  She's an RA right - from what I remember about university those are other dorm residents who get paid a little to help life run smoothly in the dorm right?  So why would another student do anything with your toilet paper?  I think it's just fine to dump them next to the door. 

2) I worked at a summer camp during university.  She's probably getting alot of pressure to make sure that people show up to things - and she's probably getting alot of 'excuses' as to why people don't want to.  I would cut her alot of slack about that.  Most people would rather do their own thing than attend a meeting to decide between game night and movie night.  But if the meetings don't happen or are badly attended then she'll probably get in trouble for a 'lack of dorm spirit'.  Some people will get upset because no one seems to care.  Or at least that how it always worked at the summer camp. 

3) Meeting times?  What's odd about Saturday at 2?  Again - my recollection of university was getting up at some point after noon on weekends.  So 2 seems like a good time. Even the people who sleep late (4 or 5 pm) can probably rise for a meeting once in a while.  And it isn't too late so that it wrecks the day.  Why do you object to this time?  I can see that most weeknights wouldn't work - some people have night classes and assignments are always due.  So that leaves the weekends.  I don't think many people would go to a meeting before 2pm - and after that people will be scattered all over. 

[BurninDinner]

I'd take her with a grain of salt and if she starts to penalize you for anything, then you can talk to her.  If she turns a deaf ear to reasonable complaints, she's got a boss.  I forget, is there any sort of feedback/review process at the end of the year?

[Lysitheia]

I understand the confusion about the TP:

It is part of the university's expectation that the RA will do this (both provide and install). RAs get all sorts of perks and extras. At first she did as she was expected to do, but after the first few weeks she got later and later and finally stopped doing it at all. It bugs me she's getting a private room, tons of priviledges and money for a job she's half doing. (It might not be this way at all or even most colleges, but RAs here really do get a big step up from the rest of us).

I wouldn't call it demeaning--presumably she knew what they deal was before school started, and we can't change the thing ourselves-- it's an industrial model . If we break it in the attempt, however, the school will be more than happy to charge us a few hundred to fix it.

Additionally, people who need TP will steal it from the doorstep, putting many people in the position of having waited almost a week and having nothing to show for it.

I should have been clearer about the meeting thing, though. I understand that weeknights are a bust. However, the weekend is personal time, and I resent the expectation that we should drop everything and run to attend a meeting that's usually a huge waste of time (Fire codes or talk about security? Useful and nessacery. Talk about game night? Neither) and get snapped at because more people haven't done the same. I also understand that she might get flack about the small numbers, but probably 90% of the meetings are non-college directed (meaning that she calls one because she wants to, not because she has to).

[freakyfemme]

Oh, POD!!!  Why is it that R.A.'s seem to be all in your face when you want to be left alone, but nowhere to be seen when you actually need one for some reason?  I'm a typical "apathetic resident," meaning I rarely go to rez activities or meetings anymore, because honestly, I'm 22, and this isn't summer camp.  I've been through my share of middle-of-the-night fire drills, I don't want to go to the rez formal, or the costume party/bowling night at the local alley, because I know that more than likely, most people will just use it as an excuse to get drunk.....like EVERY.  SINGLE.  HOLIDAY. is around here.  Halloween, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, and the last day before any school vacation is always a drunkfest.  When I was a kid, my mom lamented my brother's and my tendency to douse all our food with ketchup, on the grounds that "if you put ketchup on everything, everything will just taste like ketchup!!!"  Likewise, if people equate every single fun event here with drinking, everything will just revolve around alcohol.  The R.A.'s ostensibly try to provide alternatives, but when they're off-duty, they'll go out and get smashed too, so the first years think it's okay.......and as for the meetings, yeah, they do the pounding on the door thing here too, and sometimes I've just told them, "No, I'm not going to the meeting, I'm studying/going to bed/talking on the phone/watching Gilmore Girls and eating dinner," and I think that's okay, because it's my time, right?  They always tell us that if we don't go to the meetings, they won't know what kind of rez events we want, but they don't really get that I don't want any.  But, for some reason, planning the next month's activities is vitally important to them, whereas, if I tell them something like, "my roommates treat me horribly" (this past September, but I've since moved), or "I'm being stalked and harassed over the phone at all hours of the night, and even had my window vandalized," (last year) then I'm "monopolizing their resources." 

[kherbert05]

OK I understand the TP thing now - I was trying to figure out why you didn't just buy your own. 

You need to remind both the RA and the University that you pay them and you are an adult. Floor meetings?

We had one at the beginning of the freshman year. It was this is a dry county if you want booze down towards Austin. Round Rock is on the county line - you can tell by the string of liquor stores. Don't consume in public G-Town cops will arrest you. If you are caught with illegal drugs - the school will kick you out. Don't let me see boys in dorm after X hour - Yea I know it is a stupid sexist rule - appeal to Dean of students to change. (Girls could be in boys dorms at any hour). Just because this isn't Houston or Dallas doesn't mean it is 100% safe. Henry Lee Lucas was arrested in the area - don't prop open doors after hours.

Other than that the dorm was an apartment without a kitchen. RA's enforced quiet hours and called the cops on drunk/high students.

Unless you all had a major safety issue (Like a Henry Lee Lucas operating in the area), why are they demanding you go to a meeting. This isn't high school, were they can demand you attend assemblies.

[freakyfemme]

OK I understand the TP thing now - I was trying to figure out why you didn't just buy your own. 

You need to remind both the RA and the University that you pay them and you are an adult. Floor meetings?

We had one at the beginning of the freshman year. It was this is a dry county if you want booze down towards Austin. Round Rock is on the county line - you can tell by the string of liquor stores. Don't consume in public G-Town cops will arrest you. If you are caught with illegal drugs - the school will kick you out. Don't let me see boys in dorm after X hour - Yea I know it is a stupid sexist rule - appeal to Dean of students to change. (Girls could be in boys dorms at any hour). Just because this isn't Houston or Dallas doesn't mean it is 100% safe. Henry Lee Lucas was arrested in the area - don't prop open doors after hours.

Other than that the dorm was an apartment without a kitchen. RA's enforced quiet hours and called the cops on drunk/high students.

Unless you all had a major safety issue (Like a Henry Lee Lucas operating in the area), why are they demanding you go to a meeting. This isn't high school, were they can demand you attend assemblies.

Oh, we've had "mandatory" meetings here, with various degrees of enforcement.  Last year, one of the R.A.'s even said, "You can either come to the meeting for 10 minutes tonight, or talk to the Rez Gods tomorrow for longer than that."  I still don't think I went, I was tired that night, and it was my third year, so I already knew the ins and outs of rez life.

[Betsy]

In the dorms we were required to go to meetings (it was even in our housing contract) but once we got to the apts the RAs left us alone unless there was a violation or trouble within one of the apartments. If vandalism or underage drinking was going on than a building wide meeting was called and if we werent there then we came under scrutiny for having done the stuff (which is stupid b/c people who have lives and cant attend the meetings likely dont have time to vandalize property or get smashed) But those meetings only happened 2 times in the 3 years I was in the apts.

[freakyfemme]

In the dorms we were required to go to meetings (it was even in our housing contract) but once we got to the apts the RAs left us alone unless there was a violation or trouble within one of the apartments. If vandalism or underage drinking was going on than a building wide meeting was called and if we werent there then we came under scrutiny for having done the stuff (which is stupid b/c people who have lives and cant attend the meetings likely dont have time to vandalize property or get smashed) But those meetings only happened 2 times in the 3 years I was in the apts.

There were different rules for different styles of accommodations?  I lived in a (sort of) traditional style rez for my first two years (it was bog style, meaning everyone had a single room, with a bathroom between every two rooms), and then for last year and this year, I've been living in the apartment-style rez, and in both places, we've had meetings that were ostensibly "mandatory," but with no real consequences for not going.  I never actually had to talk to the Rez Gods when I decided to go to bed early instead of going to a rez meeting at ten at night, so since then, I really didn't bother.

[Oxymoroness]

She sounds annoying, but nothing worthy of reporting. I know (believe I know) how annoying watching someone collect a paycheck for only doing a portion of their job, but it is a waste of perfectly good enamel to grind your teeth about it. You can do nothing to improve annoying behavior. (Dangerous behavior, yes report it.) Because really, she won't change. All you can do is concentrate on yourself. Get some toilet paper that you bring with you to the bathroom. And continue to ignore the dorm meetings (trust me, if it's really important you'd get the same info in writing. Universitys do neet to cover their behinds just like the rest of the world).

[Betsy]

There were different rules for different styles of accommodations? 

There were different rules depending on a lot of things. The apts were solely for upperclassmen with a certain academic standing. I guess they figure if they limit it only to the "good" kids they can trust us to plan our own free-time activities.

The dorms I was in freshman year were honor dorms only for honor students (freshman and sophs). Those dorms also had extra rules like completely substance free (no smoking, drinking, drugs even if it would otherwise be legal). But they also had extra benefits like a living room area and a kitchenette, as well as no curfew hours.

There were traditional freshman dorms (1 bathroom for 20 people) where you would get the traditional freshman experience.
Then there were the 4 people/ 2 bedrooms/1 bath semi-suite dorms where you didnt have to deal with sharing your space with 20 people but you still got a 'traditional' experience.
Most people moved off campus soph year unless they were one of the "chosen" with the certain academic standing to get into the really nice apts. There were other university apts but they werent very nice and they were across a busy street from the rest of campus. They were known as the "party" apartments.

[Ulla dances in a silly way]

Meetings in my dorm (upperclassman dorm) are mandatory. If you skip, you get fined. Of course, if you know you'll have to miss it, you can just tell the RA and there are no penalties. The meetings are always the same, go over the rules that everyone knows are a joke, open the floor for "problems" (I'll never forget the girl who wanted the RA's to chase off a cat that lived in the quad because she just didn't like cats...), and then mention anything pertinant about the floor's behavior (aka, did we break anything, too obviously drunk on our dry campus, too loud when breaking visitation rules..)

We only meet twice a semester at most (once coming in, once before Christmas break/exam week, again coming back, and once before final check out.) Then again, there really isn't rez life here and I like it that way. I'm an adult, I chose to live in the crappy dorm because I can't handle the mother hen RA's over in the good dorm. I have a mommy, thank you, I don't need another.

-Ulla