Etiquette of truly awful gifts

[KimberlyRose]

I'm a gadget freak. I'd LOVE a Dyson!

Not so interested in a Dyson, but I was thrilled the year my husband gave me a top of the line Kitchenaid Mixmaster.  Since I love to bake and my wrists have been getting worse, it was actually a really thoughtful present.  Still, I know a lot of people would be horrified at such an "unromantic" gift.

[geordicat]

We have a tradition of opening gifts on Christmas Eve.  We also get to open ONE before we eat dinner - we get to choose which gift.

However, for the past several years, my mom has been chosing which one I get to open before dinner.  It's been a 'lounging suit' aka those velveteenish jammies.  She tells me she expects me to put it on NOW so I 'look nice' for dinner.  I hate those outfits with a passion. 

hmm... she wants me to show up to her house early to cook/clean/decorate and later when I change, what I bring to wear is not acceptable to her. The jammie suit is NOT something I'd wear or something I'd even buy for myself.  She doesn't like me wearing jeans and a nice shirt.  I wear jeans because there's a TON of people that show up and I end up sitting on the floor.  And I'm a jeans girl, through and through.  I'm not dressing up to sit on the floor!

I told my mom this year at THanksgiving that I will no longer subject myself to showing up early to be yelled at for things.  My mom thrives on drama.  Can't handle life unless everyone is upset and snarly at each other so she can play Peace Maker.  When I told her she loves the drama, she grinned really big and nodded her head.  Well, due to my sensory issues, I can't take the yelling and screaming.

[JeanFromBNA]

I am sick and tired of getting "gifts" from my DB and SIL that are obvious re-gifts and/or just plain garbage (i.e. broken, used stuff).  They earn well into the 6 figures so it is NOT a matter of being strapped for money.  It is just plain mean.  Like the people who donate garbage to the "poor".

This year if I get one of these "gifts" I am throwing it into a box and shipping it back to them with a note saying that they insist on sending out broken/used stuff they can just keep it.

In this case Etiquitte Be Danged - I've been gracious with these idiots far too long.

Dolly

What if you sent it back with a note reading, "I think that you sent me this by mistake.  This appears to be part of your Goodwill donation." 

[Hanna]

I am sick and tired of getting "gifts" from my DB and SIL that are obvious re-gifts and/or just plain garbage (i.e. broken, used stuff).  They earn well into the 6 figures so it is NOT a matter of being strapped for money.  It is just plain mean.  Like the people who donate garbage to the "poor".

This year if I get one of these "gifts" I am throwing it into a box and shipping it back to them with a note saying that they insist on sending out broken/used stuff they can just keep it.

In this case Etiquitte Be Danged - I've been gracious with these idiots far too long.

Dolly

I would make it clear to them that you don't want to exchange gifts any longer.

[DollyPond]

I am sick and tired of getting "gifts" from my DB and SIL that are obvious re-gifts and/or just plain garbage (i.e. broken, used stuff).  They earn well into the 6 figures so it is NOT a matter of being strapped for money.  It is just plain mean.  Like the people who donate garbage to the "poor".

This year if I get one of these "gifts" I am throwing it into a box and shipping it back to them with a note saying that they insist on sending out broken/used stuff they can just keep it.

In this case Etiquitte Be Danged - I've been gracious with these idiots far too long.

Dolly

What if you sent it back with a note reading, "I think that you sent me this by mistake.  This appears to be part of your Goodwill donation." 

We're talking about stuff that is not appropriate for donation to Goodwill.  Another thread addressed how some people look at Goodwill, etc as a means to unload their garbage.  That's what's going on here.  Broken items, obviously used items, opened boxes of food, etc.  I guess because I was gracious in the past they are assuming that I'm too stupid to know the difference and they're "putting one over" on me.  I suppose that compared to them I am so "poor" that I shouldn't expect anything nice nor know the difference.

Dolly

[3grey]

One of my Great-Aunts (Grandma's sister) would go shopping at DI (kinda like Goodwill) and buy dainty handkerchiefs for 10 cents and send me one for Christmas (when i was around 10).  Of course,  I always sent a Thank You and tossed the thing.    My Grandma found out about it after a couple of years, and went to her sister and told her if she wasn't going to send something decent/thoughtful then don't send anything.   No more handkerchiefs (nothing much else) and nothing was ever said again.  I didn't have a problem with it, didn't feel hurt.   Grandma was furious at the time and had some interesting words to say about her sister i.e. she'd always been cheap.   It might explain Gram's reaction if you know that her sister had a couple million dollars and didn't have any mental issues, just was cheap and didn't want to bother.     Much easier all around not to have anything sent at all.

                                    3grey